The Air That I Breathe
by mymischiefmanaged
Summary: Marlene McKinnon is scared to love, because when when you love somebody, you make yourself vulnerable. She just wants to be able to keep everybody safe. Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: The World of Harry Potter does not belong to me. Anything you recognize isn't mine**

**Prologue, June 1968**

The two children lay next to each other on the double bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to pretend that they weren't eavesdropping on the raging argument taking place downstairs. Marlene smoothed out her floral skirt for the hundredth time and kicked her legs in the air. She wasn't supposed to lie down in her summer dress because it would get crumpled, but James had told her to stop being such a girl and they had spent the last twenty minutes jumping up and down on the mattress, until the shouts from the floor below grew too loud to ignore. Her parents wouldn't usually argue like this in front of guests. She wanted to make it clear to James that her mummy and daddy weren't usually like this, but the things being said outside were too important to interrupt.

"_Honestly, David. I'm ashamed of you. The Blacks are not a family we want to spend anymore time with than we already do, and I will not be bringing our daughter into your foolish schemes for self preservation."_

"_If you would just LISTEN to me you'd understand that we don't have a choice. This threat isn't going away, and unless you want to openly declare your allegiance to Dumbledore and risk the safety of the whole family, we need some kind of alliance with a family like the Blacks. They have a son the same age as Marly, and..."_

"_And like Marly, he is EIGHT YEARS OLD. We shouldn't be making these kinds of decisions right now. She's just a child, Dave. We can't just throw away her future like this. It isn't fair."_

"_If I recall correctly, our marriage was planned when you were six years old and I was still under ten. This is the way our society works, and so far as I'm aware you don't see any problems with us being married."_

"_Of course not. That's not what I was saying. But the fact that we've managed to be happy doesn't mean it would be the same for Marly. The Blacks are a dangerous family and I don't want to throw Marly in with them like that. We've tried to keep her away from those children. Tying her future to one of them makes it all pointless."_

Upstairs, Marlene felt James take her hand and squeeze it. She wasn't completely sure what her parents were discussing, but she knew that it involved her and those nasty boys from the House of Black. Her and James had never spoken to those boys. They had seen each other at the big parties her mummy made her go to, but she always sat with James and her brother. Her mummy had told her not to speak to the other children because they might be dangerous. She nestled her head against James' shoulder and took deep breaths the way her mummy had taught her to when she felt sad but it wasn't appropriate to make a scene. James usually didn't like hugging her because he thought it made him seem girly, but he seemed to decide that the situation demanded it, and wrapped his arm around her tiny shoulders.

"_For goodness sake, Tess. We've kept her away from those boys because we wanted to keep her safe. We will continue to do so because they are not a friendly family. But it is precisely because of the dangers posed by them that we need to do this. If they see Marly as one of their own, which they will do if we make plans for her eventually to marry into the family, they won't harm her or her family. I don't like it anymore than you do, but these are dark times and we need to take precautions to keep our children safe."_

"_I just didn't want her to be involved with any of those people. It's bad enough seeing them at the functions we have to go to. She shouldn't need to spend more time than that with any of them, especially not one of the Blacks."_

"_The boy's the same age as Marly. He'll be starting Hogwarts with her in a few years anyway. She won't be able to avoid him, and if we arrange this engagement it should offer her some protection at school."_

"_She shouldn't NEED protection at school. Don't you think you're overreacting slightly to this whole situation? She'll have Dumbledore, and both of the Blacks will end up in Slytherin like their parents anyway."_

"_Don't be so naive Tessie. Marly and James will both be in Gryffindor, sure, so they won't be living with the Blacks, but the Slytherins didn't leave us alone when we were at school and if anything it'll be worse now that You Know Who's gaining followers. Please can we just stop arguing and accept that we need to do this to look after our children."_

Marlene shifted in James' arms. She looked up at him and he quickly replaced his angry frown with a smile. She didn't know why he tried to hide things from her. It had never worked. They had known each other their whole lives. Even if she hadn't been able to see his expression she would have known the effect her daddy's words would have on her best friend.

"Jamie, I'm scared," she whispered, burying her face further into his shoulder.

"I'm not surprised. You're going to have to have a _husband. _What if you have to kiss him?" James said. He gave her a grin and she pretended to shudder. They both laughed, but stopped abruptly when James heard his own name come into the discussion.

"_I don't understand why you think this is necessary. I don't see the Potters setting up a marriage for James, and their blood goes back as far as ours does."_

"_The Potters have chosen to join the Order of the Phoenix. Their time of being accepted in pure blood circles is limited. For now, people are unsure of where their loyalties lie, but it is unlikely that they will still be in contact with families like the Blacks by the time the kids have finished with school. Our situation is different. We have the opportunity to protect Marly, and we should take it."_

"_Okay. I give up. Tell Orion that Marly will marry Sirius Black when they come of age, joining our families. But promise me that this is what will keep her safe."_

"_I promise. I'm sorry, Tess. This isn't what I wanted for her either, but I don't think that we have a choice. The marriage won't be until after they've finished school, so she still has a long time to be a child."_

Her mummy's response was too quiet for Marlene to hear. She looked at James and grimaced. He seemed to decide that she no longer needed his comfort, and withdrew his arm from around her. Neither of them moved any further than this. They both lay back to think about what they had heard. Marlene had known that her family was worried about what would happen to them. There was something happening that meant all the pure bloods were supposed to join some kind of team, but her mummy and daddy didn't like some of the people on the team so they didn't want to play. James' parents were on the same side as her mummy and daddy, but were fighting instead of just watching. She was glad her parents weren't fighting. She didn't want them to get hurt. Apparently if she married this boy when she grew up, she would be able to help stop them get hurt. She liked that idea. Usually she was too young to stop other people getting hurt, like when Jack was stuck up the big tree and her legs were too little to climb up and help him. She had to sit at the bottom until he fell, and all she could do was put plasters on his scraped knees. This wedding thing was a good thing. She could stop people hurting, and that was all that she'd ever really wanted to do.

The door creaked open. Marlene jumped up and tried to hide her crinkled dress with her arms so that she wouldn't get in trouble. It was only Jack, though. He came and gave her a big hug, and she thought that he must have heard the argument as well. She lay back down on the bed next to James and Jack took the place on her other side. She linked one hand through James', and the other through her big brother's, and the three of them lay there in silence, thinking about the changes that were starting to affect their sheltered lives.


	2. Alcohol and Arguments

**Disclaimer: This world belongs to J.K. Rowling, not to me. Nothing you recognize is mine**

**Chapter One, May 1976**

Lily was draped over Jack, repeatedly running her slender fingers through his hair and laughing. He kept removing her arms from around his neck, letting go only to have to grab hold of her again when she fell over. Marlene watched them over her drink, considering going to rescue Jack but not sure whether she could manage the walk across the common room. Lily was now trying to persuade Jack to dance with her. He reluctantly twirled her around and she collapsed into him in a fit of delighted giggles. Marlene rolled her eyes and leant back in her chair.

"Make them stop. She's breaking my heart," James sat down next to Marlene, holding a half empty bottle of firewhisky.

"Aw, I'm sorry Jamie. Have you not been getting enough attention tonight? Big Quidditch hero like you, I would have thought you'd have girls falling all over you," Marlene said, rocking her chair onto its back legs and finishing off her drink.

"But none of them are the girl I want, and the Quidditch hero thing doesn't help much when she's all over the fucking captain," James said, sticking out his bottom lip and scowling.

"He's not just the Quidditch captain though, is he James?" Marlene said, teasing him in his childish grumpiness. "He is so much more than the Gryffindor Quidditch captain. I mean, if being captain was all it took, you'd probably be able to get her next year, wouldn't you? Unfortunately, he's also head boy."

James let out a loud, animalistic moan and Marlene giggled. Lily was her best friend, and she knew that when sober she wasn't really interested in Jack, but Marlene had known James for years and always knew the right things to say to wind him up. James was now pretending to cry, and Marlene prized the bottle from his hands and took a swig. The party showed no signs of slowing down and she didn't feel drunk enough. They had reached the stage of the night when people started to pair off. She could see Alice huddled in a corner with her boyfriend Frank. They weren't touching each other and were having an intense conversation. This had happened a lot recently. Frank was graduating at the end of the year and wanted to be an auror. Alice was worried about him and would miss him desperately. If Marlene was being honest with herself she found the whole situation boring. Alice and Frank had been together for three years and everybody knew they'd get married and grow old together. Two years apart wasn't the end of the world.

Marlene took another swig from the bottle of firewhisky. Her head was starting to feel fuzzy and she welcomed the feeling. She looked back over to where her brother was now pressed into Lily against the wall, her lips against his neck. She didn't worry about it too much. Jack wouldn't take it any further than kissing. He had known Lily since she was twelve and had stayed with their family over the Easter holidays. He wouldn't risk hurting her.

"Can you go and get your brother off of her already?" James had gone back to looking distastefully at Jack and Lily.

"Nope. It's not worth bringing on the wrath of drunk Lily," Marlene said.

"But maybe she doesn't want this anyway? I mean, she might secretly like somebody else, like, maybe somebody she's scared to say she likes because she's always said she hates him. She might just be getting with Jack because he made a move and she wants to hide her true feelings which are actually for somebody her own age who isn't afraid to break the rules," James said, pushing his hand back through his hair and furrowing his brow. Marlene laughed. It sounded strange, more high pitched than normal. She blamed the drink.

"She looks like she wants this quite a lot. She's definitely trying to go back to his dorm with him right now," Marlene said. She was right. Lily was holding tightly onto Jack's hand and leaning back, trying to put all of her weight into making him move towards the staircase up to the boys' dormitories. Unfortunately for Lily, Jack was a Quidditch player. He was strong, and weighed a lot more than her, and she couldn't get him to follow her. Marlene watched them and giggled again. It wasn't that funny. Lily would be horribly embarrassed in the morning, but for some reason Marlene was finding everything hilarious.

"You're a horrible person," he said, taking the firewhisky back from her and drinking half of it in one go. She gave an indignant squeak and snatched it back. "You should be ashamed of yourself. I am your favorite person in the whole wide world, and you're _laughing _in my moment of need."

"Jamie honey, you're not my favorite person in the whole wide world," Marlene said, shaking her head slowly and passing the whisky back to him. James looked up at her, his expression outraged.

"What? That's not fair. You're my favorite," he slurred, waving the bottle above his head until she took it again.

"Really? I come before Sirius? Remus?" Marlene raised her eyebrows.

"Padfoot doesn't count. We've been through this," James said. Marlene opened her mouth to speak but he put his finger over her lips, forcing her to let him continue. "Padfoot is not on the scale of favorite people, because he's the same person as me. Naturally, he would be number one if he could be, because he is like me and I am number one for everybody. Well, everybody except apparently you. Padfoot can't be my favorite though, because he's a part of me and that would be narcissistic." He looked quite proud of himself for using such a long word.

"And Remus?"

"Oh yeah, well I guess you're my second favorite in the whole wide world," James said. "You can come before Wormy though?" He said this as if offering her a consolation prize. Marlene laughed and took another gulp of firewhisky, before nodding towards Jack and Lily, who had moved back to their place against the wall. James glared at her and staggered out of his chair, stumbling a little before managing to stand up straight.

"Well, my fair lady, I will love you and leave you. If Lily doesn't want me tonight I better find someone else," he said.

"You're disgusting," Marlene called after him as he zigzagged across the common room towards Mary McDonald, one of the girls from Marlene's dorm, who stood up to meet him. Marlene drained the last of the whisky and looked around for somebody else she could talk to. Sirius was sitting with a fourth year by the fire. Marlene vaguely recognized the girl but couldn't think what her name was. She stood up and made her way towards them. Sirius didn't look very interested in whatever the girl was saying to him anyway.

"Move. I want to talk to Sirius," Marlene said to the girl. She felt a bit bad about her rudeness when the girl's blue eyes filled up with tears, but before she had a chance to apologize the girl had stood up and rushed over to a group of fourth years sitting by the window.

"Bit territorial, ma cherie?" Sirius asked her with a smirk, patting the cushion next to him. She sat down and leant against him. "No need for that. You're the one with the metaphorical ring on your finger."

"You're not funny, and it's more than metaphorical," Marlene said. "I was just bored, and she didn't look particularly enthralling anyway." Sirius chuckled and nodded.

"She wasn't. She kept going on about how she's supposedly related to Rowena Ravenclaw on her father's side. Seemed to think it would impress me."

"Might be a good move. Your parents would like her," Marlene said, her tone monotonous.

"Nope. Her mum's a muggle," Sirius said, grimacing.

"Ah. Perhaps not, then." Marlene stretched out against him, kicking her legs up onto the sofa and leaning further back against Sirius' arm.

She never ceased to be surprised by how easy talking to Sirius was. She supposed it was because they had grown up in similar circumstances. Sirius' family held different views from her own, and she had not known him as a child like she had with James, but all three of them had grown up in the same circles. Sirius knew what it was like to spend eight hours a day studying from the age of four, becoming fluent in five different languages, a trained dancer and an accomplished musician. He had suffered the same stifling formal dinners that she had, and had been taught the same social graces. He knew which cutlery to use for which course, and how greeting a wizard who held an Order of Merlin First Class differed from one holding a Second Class, which differed from greeting a witch. Sirius was never shocked by Marlene's wide range of skills, and understood that she didn't mean to be rude when her voice sounded cold and indifferent. She never felt like she had to change herself when she was with him, and although he could be vulgar, and she didn't like the way he acted with other girls, she was glad to be able to call him her friend.

"Doesn't make any difference. I'd love to introduce Maman to a nice halfblood, but it's not worth the effort if she hasn't got anything interesting to say," Sirius said. "What I _really _want to do, is find some really hot muggle born bird and bring her home as my girl for the holidays. You think Evans would be willing to fake it?"

"James would kill you."

"Yeah I guess, and Dad would probably kill Evans. It wouldn't really be worth it," Sirius' tone was still lighthearted but his eyes had darkened. "Do you ever just get sick of it all?"

Marlene reached out to squeeze his hand. "Sick of what?"

"Everything. Pure bloods. Expectations. Never having a moment to just have fun. All the horrible elitism. The cruel comments. All of it," Sirius said, tripping over his words in his rush to release them.

Marlene bit her lip and scrunched up her forehead, thinking carefully about Sirius' words. She supposed she didn't like the expectations she had grown up with. It was true that as a child she'd never had much time to herself. Her only real friend had been James and she'd spent most of her time with her family. She found her gaze drifting back to Jack and Lily. Jack was spinning her round quickly and they were both laughing. She felt herself smile without meaning to.

"No, I don't think so," she said. "I mean, things have been difficult sometimes, but I loved growing up with Jack, and I always had James. There's been pressure from my parents, and there still is, but it's not so bad. We were happy, I think."

"I always forget how different it was for you. You're more like James than me. You have all the airs and graces of a good little pure blood girl, but you still have a family that loves you," he sounded bitter and Marlene tightened her grip on his hand.

"I'm sure they do love you. They just find it hard to show it," she murmured, tilting her face to kiss him on the cheek.

"No. I don't think they're capable of loving anyone. I'm not sure they even love Reg, not really. They're just grateful that he's given them at least one respectable slytherin son they can show off to all their death eater friends. The only reason they even tolerate me is because of you. They want your family on our side, and they think your agreement to marry me is proof that they might be willing to change their allegiance. Plus, if I can pull off a pure blood marriage I'll be able to restore the respect I've lost them," Sirius said. "And that's horrible for me to know, because I really do care about you, not like that, but enough that I don't want to just be using you like they want me to. I don't want you to be some tool for my family to expand their connections."

"That's just what pure blood families do, Sirius. They use each other. My parents are using you just as much. Let's just not think about it for tonight, okay? You played a fantastic Quidditch match today. We should be celebrating," Marlene said, stroking his hand slowly.

"You make a good point. How do you suggest we celebrate?" Sirius said, sitting up straighter and shaking his head quickly, as if trying to brush away the painful thoughts.

"Drink?" Marlene said, summoning two more bottles from the drinks table and giving one to Sirius.

"I like your thinking, McKinnon," Sirius said, raising his bottle for her to tap with her own before raising it to his lips.

* * *

"Remind me why we bothered to take Divination?" Marlene was walking with James, trying to charm away the tea stains on her blouse. Professor Medea had experienced a distressing premonition when she looked into Marlene's cup, causing her to empty the teapot she was carrying over Marlene. She had apologized profusely, - _'not for the tea, dear, but for your future. Rarely have I seen such a clear path of tragedy in one so young...' - _Marlene didn't care much about the supposed devastation waiting in her future, but she was annoyed about her ruined uniform.

"Thought it would be an easy option," James muttered gloomily.

"It's a complete waste of time, though," Marlene said, giving up on getting rid of the stains and instead aiming a jet of hot air from her wand at the wet patches to dry them off.

"I don't know about that. I can tell all sorts of things about you," James said with a grin. He took her hand and brought it close to his eyes, tracing the lines of her palm with one finger. "See, this line here under your index finger says that you'll serve others for the good of mankind. You'll give up things you care about for a greater good. Hmm, that doesn't sound like you Marly. Um, this one says you'll be selfish in love. That's more in character." Marlene punched his arm and he laughed before tracing a new line. "This says you won't be guided by fate. Well, that's bullshit. How can you be fated not to be guided by fate? You're right. Complete waste of time."

Marlene laughed. James was always more reluctant than her to laugh at the things Professor Medea said. His grandfather had told him that he had witnessed a real prophecy before the birth of his mother. Apparently, the prophecy had foretold of a child who would bring great joy and great sorrow, and 'none would come after.' His grandmother had died in childbirth, bringing the sorrow, but his mother had brought his grandfather joy, and had been his only child. James had great respect for his grandfather, and the story had given him an appreciation for Divination that Marlene felt unable to take seriously. She knew that the idea of prophecy frightened James, and that he truly believed that fate could be determined.

"Jamie, we know it's bullshit. Stop taking it so seriously, it -" James covered her mouth with his hand before she could finish her sentence. The motion didn't scare her. She had known him long enough to trust him. It only took her a few seconds to realise why she had been silenced. As they walked further down the corridor, they could hear shouts from around the corner. The shouts were getting closer to them, and James pulled her behind a tapestry to listen to what was going on. They were crammed together between two walls of stone. Sirius' voice was familiar, and Marlene was tempted to go to him, but James held her back and shook his head. He didn't remove his arms from around her and they both kept still.

"I don't particularly think that it's any of your concern who I choose to spend my time with," somebody was saying. Marlene didn't recognize the voice but the look on James' face suggested that he knew who it was Sirius was arguing with.

"Of course it's my fucking business." Sirius was furious.

"Some might say you're meddling in things that aren't yours to meddle with. We're supposed to stay out of each other's lives while we're here. That's what you always said, isn't it? I don't try to interfere with the fact that you spend your time with mudbloods and blood traitors," the voice sounded smug, and not very scared by Sirius' anger.

"Don't say things like that," Sirius' voice was quieter now, and more controlled. "You're my baby brother, Reg. I want to make sure you're okay, and kids like Avery and Mulciber are _dangerous._" Marlene understood now. Sirius had always worried that his brother would end up with the same beliefs their parents held. He was apparently a good kid, but not as strong willed as his older brother, and Sirius didn't want him to make the wrong choices. Avery and Mulciber were two of the nastier sixth year slytherins. They had a lot of influence and made it common knowledge that they aspired to join You Know Who when they were out of Hogwarts.

"I'm touched by your concern, brother, but I'm afraid it's misplaced. Avery and Mulciber are my friends, and they'll protect me without your help. Mother was right about you. You waste your time with petty concerns and fail to direct your attention to more pressing matters."

"I don't want to hear Mother's opinions, especially not from you."

"Well that's a shame, because they might be quite valuable to you. I mean, you might be interested to hear that some of your friends won't be welcome in our circles for much longer."

"You're lying."

"Am I? Mother seems to be under the impression that the Potters need to reevaluate some of their priorities. I would imagine that this will be the last summer they'll be able to show their faces around those that matter. It would be unfortunate, would it not, if your temper encouraged Mother to speed up the process? We wouldn't want anybody to, er, _get hurt_."

"If you know what's good for you, you'll stop talking." Sirius' voice was colder than Marlene had ever heard it.

"And if you know what's good for you you'll start acting in a way that's befitting of a son of Black, and encourage your friends to do the same. You shouldn't be associating with scum."

There was a loud bang and a flash of purple light which lit up the small stone enclave behind the tapestry, before two sets of heavy footsteps sounded, moving in opposite directions.

* * *

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! It really means so much to get your opinions on my writing, and it gives me much more motivation to update more quickly so I guess there's something in it for you too. Thanks to HalfBloodBanana for giving my story such a lovely first review. Lots of love xx**


	3. Hogsmeade

**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me**

**Chapter Two, May 1976**

"I can't believe this is the last Hogsmeade trip before exams," Lily said, spreading her arms out to welcome the fresh air. "Where did this year go?"

Marlene ran to catch her up. "I know. Time seems to have sped up recently. Let's make the most of it, though. With your attitude to revision this is probably the last sunshine you'll see this term."

"I'm not that bad," Lily said with a smile. "But you're right. We need to enjoy our freedom before we have to shut ourselves up in the library."

Lily linked her arm through Marlene's as the two girls entered the village. They had always spent Hogsmeade trips with each other. Alice usually came along too but they had let her off for this trip because she wanted to spend time with Frank while she still could. Marlene pushed open the door to the three broomsticks and struggled to find them a table in the crowded pub while Lily went to get them drinks. She saw Jack standing by the bar with a pretty girl from his year and gave him a wave. He grinned at her before turning back to the girl. Remus and Peter were sitting together at a table by the window. Unable to spot an empty table, Marlene pushed her way through the crowds to join Remus and Peter. Lily sat down next to her a few minutes later, putting two butterbeers down in front of them.

"Where's James?" Lily asked Remus. Marlene raised her eyebrows at her and Remus looked amused. "I mean, Potter and Black. Where are they? You're usually with them for Hogsmeade," Lily said, looking flustered. Her cheeks were flushed, and she took a large gulp of butterbeer.

"On our way here we saw Sirius' brother meeting up with some of his cousins and Malfoy," Remus said. His voice was calm and he acted as though he hadn't noticed Lily's embarrassment. "Those people aren't good news. Bellatrix Lestrange is known to be a death eater, and the Potters are pretty sure Malfoy's one too. Sirius wanted to confront them, which seemed unwise. We would have been hugely outnumbered. James took him for a walk to calm him down."

When Remus finished speaking, the four of them stayed silent, contemplating his words. Marlene thought about the conversation she had overheard between Sirius and his brother. If Regulus' contacts extended beyond Slytherins at Hogwarts to real Death Eaters, she couldn't help but think that Sirius was fighting a losing battle. The mood in the small group felt somber.

"What's going on? Why do I feel like I've just arrived at somebody's funeral?" James shoved Peter to make him move up so he could sit down next to him. His hair was a mess and he ran his hand through it before picking up Marlene's drink and taking a swig.

"What have you done with Padfoot?" Remus asked, taking the butterbeer from James and giving it back to Marlene, who nodded in thanks.

"Bastard left me for Samara Brookes. I mean, there I was sacrificing my manliness to help him out in his time of need," James stopped talking when Lily snorted with laughter. "I mean it. I offered to give him a hug and everything. I even said he could always come to me if he needed to talk. Stop laughing. You would have been proud of me. So there I was giving up everything I stand for to be a good friend, and then Brookes comes along with some tiny dress on that shows her whole magnificent cleavage, and Padfoot looks at me, pats me on the shoulder and then leaves," James looked outraged. "He didn't even say thank you! I mean, what does he get from Brookes that he can't get from me?"

Lily snorted again. "Do you really want an answer to that James?"

James looked confused for a few seconds, before his expression changed to one of revulsion. "No. Absolutely not. That is _not _what I meant," he said, continuing to mumble unintelligible words without seeming to care whether his friends understood what he was talking about.

"You mean there's never been a physical side to your relationship with Sirius?" Marlene asked, her eyes wide with mock innocence.

"What? No! Who told you? Why..." James spluttered, looking at her in horror.

"I'm sorry. I just always assumed, given how extraordinarily close the two of you are, I thought your relationship must be more than friendship. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Jamie. Sirius is a good looking boy," Marlene said, taking another sip of her drink while she watched James with quiet amusement.

"I know he is. Obviously he's good looking. But, but no. You know I'm not...you know. I mean, of course it's fine that some people are...you know, but I'm _not,_" James said. Marlene laughed and reached across the table to ruffle his hair.

"Don't worry, Jamie. We all know you only have eyes for Lilyflower here," she said.

Lily opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by a loud bang and several screams. James shouted at them all to get down and the five of them ducked under the table. Marlene knew that James' instincts were good, and that he was probably right to get them to take cover, but the fact that she now couldn't see what was going on made her much more frightened than she would have been if she knew where to aim. James seemed to realise this. He had always been able to tell when she was scared. He crawled towards her and put an arm round her waist. Lily was on his other side, silent tears trickling down her face, and he took her hand as well. Lily reached out to hold Peter's hand, and Remus reached for Marlene. The five of them sat huddled together in the darkness, listening to the shouts from around them.

"_It's them! It's Death Eaters. No, please, no."_

"_Charlotte? Charlotte, WHERE ARE YOU? Come on Charley baby please talk to me"_

"_Who are they looking for? It's all kids here today"_

"_Just kill them all and we can be done here"_

"_NO! He's fourteen years old!"_

"_It is foolish to try to resist us. If your blood is pure you have nothing to fear"_

"_I will NEVER let you hurt him"_

"_Try to get the younger ones out. They don't stand a chance"_

"_Who passed their apparition test?"_

"_THEY'RE TAKING DOWN THE WALLS"_

"_On three, run"_

"_THE THREE BROOMSTICKS IS ON FIRE!"_

At these last words, Marlene looked up in fear. James gestured to the wall beside them. A powerful heat confirmed the shouts they had heard. People in the pub were screaming and sobbing, and they could see flickering light form the direction of the bar. James pointed his wand at the wall. "Reducto," he whispered, and the stone started to crumble.

"Good thinking," Lily said, her own wand joining his. Together, they managed to break through the wall, and the five of them climbed through the hole they had made. The street outside was littered with rubble. Some of the surrounding shops had collapsed and were now up in flames. Marlene stared at the devastation around her, unable to tear her eyes away. People were running and screaming, but couldn't get far without being hit by jets of colored light. An old woman lay on the floor a few steps away, her eyes blank and unseeing, a basket of fruit spilled around her.

"Move, Marly. Come on, we can do this. We just need to get away. If we can get to the Shrieking Shack we know a way back to the school," James said, his hand at the small of her back, encouraging her to move.

Marlene stumbled after James. Lily took her hand and the three of them sped up their pace to catch up with Remus and Peter. She didn't understand why this was happening to them. They were underage, and hadn't done anything to offend the Death Eaters and You Know Who. James had always said these people gained power through fear, and she supposed that was what was going on. If people knew that not even their children were safe, they would be less likely to resist. It was one thing to sacrifice yourself for your beliefs, but something entirely different to sacrifice your children as well.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here."

They stopped walking abruptly, staring in terror at the masked figures that had stepped out of the trees. There were three of them, and they looked terrible in their long, dark cloaks and tall, pointed masks. Although Marlene and her friends outnumbered them, none of them were fully qualified, and none had any experience of dueling, especially not against people who were willing to use illegal curses.

"Just leave them be. They won't last long anyway. Our special, er, _reinforcements _will be heading this way soon," one of the figures said.

"But think of all the fun we could have with them," another Death Eater said. This voice was female, and there was an edge of excitement to her words. She lifted her wand. "Sanguinis Cruoris"

James cast a non verbal shield charm but the jet of orange light had already reached its target, hitting Lily in the chest. Lily's eyes widened, and tears started to run down her cheeks. Marlene watched her for a moment, thinking that perhaps the curse had just been a brief burst of pain, but to her horror the tears spilling from Lily's eyes were starting to run red. Blood trickled down her face, and soon it was not just coming from her eyes, but pouring from her nose and mouth and ears. Lily screamed, releasing a stream of blood, and pressed her hands over her ears, clearly terrified. None of her friends knew what to do, and stared at her as she suffered, until she collapsed on the ground. She was still bleeding, and they could hear her rasping breaths, but she was no longer conscious.

Marlene let go of James' hand. She didn't want to lose the comfort his touch gave her, but she knew that they needed to be mobile if they were going to survive.

"Well, that was interesting. One of your own creations, Bella?" The third Death Eater was staring at Lily as she lay on the floor in a growing puddle of her own blood. The woman laughed manically.

"I suppose we do have enough time to play with them a little," the first Death Eater said, raising his own wand.

Marlene raised her wand and felt Remus and James do the same either side of her. Peter took a second longer to realise that he was going to need to fight, but then his wand joined theirs. Marlene was shaking, and moved a fraction closer to James so she could feel the warmth of his arm against her shoulder. She had subconsciously drawn the conclusion that James was their leader, and he seemed to realise this because he gave them a brief, one word command. "Shields."

"PROTEGO," Marlene shouted, the burst of shimmering silver spreading out in front of her. She wasn't completely confident in her shield charms. Jack had spent a few hours teaching her earlier in the year when it became clear that the darkness in their world wasn't going anywhere, but she had never practiced against anything worse than stunners. James, Remus and Peter cast their own charms around her, and the air in front of them became distorted, as if they were seeing it through a layer of glittering smoke. James' charm had extended over Lily as well, which Marlene was grateful for. Lily was breathing shallowly, and would be an easy target, but Marlene didn't think she would be able to stretch her shield far enough. She had never been more glad to have James by her side.

"Aw, the itty bitty witch and wizards think they can fight us?" the female Death Eater, who Marlene thought must be Bellatrix Lestrange, laughed.

Marlene tightened her grip on her wand. She could feel her shoulders starting to shake with the exertion of maintaining her shield, but she knew that she couldn't let it go down. She looked back at James. His face was pale and he was biting his lip but looked determined.

"It'll be good for them. That fool up at the school doesn't think they need to learn the beauty of the dark arts. We're teaching them" one of the other Death Eaters said smoothly, flicking his wand to release a jet of light. It hit Marlene's section of the shield and she could feel it against her wand arm, straining her muscles in its attempt to get through, but she managed to hold on. The spell melted into the shield, leaving a visible crack. James tensed next to her, and she watched in amazement as his shield stretched to repair her own. She had known that Defence was his best subject, but this was magic she wouldn't have any idea how to perform.

"Impressive. Mummy and Daddy must have been giving you lessons," Bellatrix said. She shot a red light towards them. Marlene prepared herself but it wasn't coming to her. It hit the shield near Peter and Remus instead. Remus screwed up his face in concentration and managed to sustain his shield, but the air in front of Peter parted and allowed the light through. He looked startled as the stunner dissolved into his stomach, and crumpled onto the ground. Bellatrix raised her wand to hit him with something nastier, but Remus gritted his teeth and adjusted his shield the same way Marlene had seen James do it, extending it to protect Peter as well as himself.

Tears were spilling out of Marlene's eyes, and she used her left hand to wipe them away. She didn't want to look weak, but she was completely terrified. Even James looked scared, and she had always thought he would be able to face anything. She thought it must be harder for him because he felt partially responsible for keeping her and Remus safe as well as himself. She focussed all her attention on strengthening her shield, feeling it draining her energy but refusing to let it down as the Death Eaters took it in turns to aim more and more spells at it. Her shield managed to hold, and where it wavered James or Remus would give it support from their own, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could last. The next spell to hit them was green, and shook their shield more viciously than the others. James let out a roar of anger, and she could hear Remus exhaling slowly. They were now shooting to kill.

She screwed up her eyes and braced herself for another hit, but it never came. Instead, three loud cracks sounded, and when she opened her eyes the Death Eaters had gone.

"Don't drop the shield yet," James said. He sounded scared. Marlene looked to where the Death Eaters had been, and spun around slowly to see if there was anything behind her, before eventually deciding she couldn't hold the shield any longer. James gave an abrupt nod and let go of his own, and Remus was quick to follow him.

"Lily," Marlene said, her voice hoarse. She felt exhausted.

"I don't know what she did to her," James said. "I've never seen anything like it."

"We have to get her to the castle. Revive Pete and then head to the shack. We can carry her through the passage back to school. She needs the hospital wing," Remus said. His voice was surprisingly calm, and Marlene was grateful for his clear thinking. She was in too much shock to think of anything, and she knew that James was too angry.

"Okay, Moony you get Pete and I'll take Lily. No offence intended Marly, but you look like you're about to pass out and I think it's probably best if you don't do any magic or try anything difficult right now," James said, patting Marlene on the shoulder.

"Why did they just leave like that though? There must be some rea...oh," Marlene said, her words ending as an unnatural coldness descended upon them. She reached out for James again and he held onto her. Remus had taken out his wand again.

At first, Marlene thought the tall, cloaked figures coming over the hill were more Death Eaters, but that didn't make sense. Death Eaters couldn't bring such horrible despair just through their presence. These were something else, something horrible. She remembered her brother talking about Dementors - _"And they guard Azkaban, Marly, and they're really, really horrible, and nobody's ever seen what's under their cloaks and lived to tell the tale. If you ever see a Dementor Marly, you're in real trouble. But don't worry. You're my little sister. I'd fight them off" - _and shuddered. The Dementors were coming closer, and she could now hear their harsh, rattling breaths. She held up her wand and shot a stunner towards the nearest one. The red light disappeared into the folds of its cloak but it carried on gliding towards her. The air smelt rotten, and she was freezing.

"Um, the spell's expecto patronum," James said. His voice was quiet and feeble. "You have to...you have to think...of something happy."

Something happy. Marlene tried her hardest to think of a happy memory, but for some reason the only memories coming to mind were those that made her miserable.

"_For goodness sake, Marlene. You are a young Lady, and we have social arrangements. Why are you covered in mud? Don't try to tell me it's James' fault. You know your responsibilities and you haven't met them. How I ended up with a daughter like you I will never know."_

"_I'm really sorry, Jack. I wanted to climb up and get you but I couldn't reach. Please be alive. Please don't be dead. I brought plasters."_

"_Ah, you must be the young Miss McKinnon," Lucius' voice was slimy. "Very nice, very nice indeed." His hands stroked her twelve year old body, moving round to her chest briefly and dropping to her lower back. "I'm sure I'll enjoy you when you're a bit older," he whispered into her ear, his breath hot, making her shudder._

Beside her, Remus dropped to the floor, his face pale. James was still holding on, attempting to cast his patronus again and again, but only achieving short bursts of wispy smoke.

"Come on Marly. You can do it. Happy memories. Um, remember when we went to the beach, and Mum gave you a mermaid's tale because you were scared to swim? You remember, don't you? That was a happy day, and the time Jack stole redcurrant wine from your parents cupboard, and we got drunk and watched that crazy muggle movie? Please, Marly. Please try," James said, his words interspersed with the incantation. He was managing to create enough smoke that the Dementors couldn't move the last two paces towards them, but Marlene wasn't sure how much longer he would manage.

She focussed on the memories James had brought up, trying to cling to the sense of joy she had felt when she'd seen her legs replaced with a shimmering, scaly tail. "Expecto Patronum," she murmured. She felt a current of something move through her arm to her wand, but nothing came out. "Expecto Patronum. Expecto Patronum," she tried again, moving through different happy memories of easier times spent with James, but nothing worked, she kept coming back to the same horrible thoughts.

"_Just go to your room. I don't want to look at you right now. We have expectations, Marlene, and you are not a child anymore. Please refrain from acting like one."_

"_We don't have time for these emotional displays right now. Your grandmother is dead. She was old and these things happen. Go to your room and calm down."_

"_You're looking more beautiful than ever, Marlene. May I have this dance?" She started to shake her head, but saw her mother's warning glance from behind Lucius' shoulder, and took his hand. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me for long," he said, burying his pale face into her neck. "After this, I'll take you out to the gardens. This is my family's manor, so I know where we can go to be interrupted. Ssh, don't try to resist. I know you want me." He stroked her back, his hands moving lower and lower, and she felt her eyes fill with tears. "No."_

Marlene couldn't hold on anymore. She dropped to her knees, tears spilling from her eyes and down her cheeks. She was still conscious, but barely. James' feeble silvery mist was keeping her eyes open, but he looked ready to collapse. She felt him crumple beside her, and the last of the lingering mist disappeared. He put his arm round her, whispering that he was sorry, and she leant into his shoulder and closed her eyes.

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**A/N: If you've taken the time to read, please take a little bit longer to review. I really appreciate every review xx**


	4. Gryffindor Lions

**Disclaimer: It isn't mine**

**Chapter Three, May 1976**

Marlene woke up to the sterile white of the hospital wing. The light made her head spin, and she closed her eyes again. She couldn't remember what had happened. She was obviously back at school, but had no idea how she had got there. The last thing she recalled was huddling close to James in the cold. As her head started to clear, she became aware of hushed voices from across the room. She opened her eyes to see what was going on. Jack was sitting in a chair next to her bed, his head lolling back against the wall, snoring gently. A deep cut ran from one of his eyebrows down to his jaw. She wondered how she hadn't noticed that he was holding her hand. She looked away from him to the next occupied bed. James was facing away from her, talking quietly to Sirius, who looked distressed.

"You don't know what it was like, Prongs," Sirius was saying, gripping James' shoulder. "I saw you collapse. I thought, I thought..."

"It's okay, though. You managed to get us out. You were fantastic. I didn't know you could cast such a strong patronus," James said.

"But what if I hadn't been able to? What if I hadn't got there in time?" Sirius' words were full of anguish.

"It doesn't matter. You did, and I'm bloody thankful you did because my patronus was complete crap, but it's over now."

"No. You don't understand. I..I..you're the closest thing to family I've got. I thought I'd lost you." Sirius' voice was thick. He sounded like he'd been crying. "I love you, Prongs. Don't laugh. I fucking love you. You're my best mate and my brother and it's okay for one straight guy to tell another straight guy he loves him. I watched you holding Marlene on the floor, and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself if that was the last time I saw you alive."

"Well thanks, I guess. I love you too. But come on, it doesn't matter anymore. We all made it back."

"Yeah. I'm being stupid. I just...I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew. If I had lost you today, and you hadn't known how important to me you are..."

"Padfoot, stop it. I know. We're brothers, right? More than brothers, even. I feel the same."

"Okay. Just, don't die, okay? Ever. I don't think I could stay sane without you."

"I'll try my very best. Can we talk about something more manly now?"

Marlene smiled. She was glad James had Sirius. Their friendship wasn't something she felt fully able to understand. The two boys were completely different from each other, but somehow understood what the other was thinking before anybody else could start to realise what was going on. James had once described it as being like a mild form of legilimency. He could see into Sirius' head, not deeply enough to see his specific thoughts, but enough to understand his feelings even when nobody else could see them. When they were a bit younger, Marlene had envied Sirius for this connection with James. James used to be _hers, _but she had never achieved such closeness with him. As she grew up, she had started to decide that it wasn't a problem. She had a brother that she adored, and Lily and Alice would always be there for her. She wasn't even sure she _wanted _somebody to be able to see into her feelings like that. Her friendship with James was no less than it had ever been, she just needed to accept that somebody else had reached a closer level of friendship with him than she would be able to.

James and Sirius were leaning into each other, their foreheads pressed together. They had always been comfortable communicating in silence. She closed her eyes and turned her head back into her pillow.

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"Miss McKinnon, I think you're ready to leave now," Madam Pomfrey had finished checking her temperature, and examining her eyes to see if she was still in shock. She had slept for another three hours before waking up to an empty room. Jack and Sirius had been told to leave for classes. James was waiting for her at the door, having just been cleared to leave. Lily was still unconscious in a bed on the other side of the ward, but they had been assured that she would make a full recovery. "I will inform your professors that you won't be at lessons today, and that they should expect you tomorrow. Make sure you come back if you feel any dizziness."

"Thankyou," Marlene said. Her voice sounded feeble. She stood up. Her legs felt shaky. James was at her side in a moment. He slid his arm around her waist to offer her support without it being obvious to other people that she needed his help.

"Well, it's been lovely to spend so much time with you, Poppy," James said with a wink. Madam Pomfrey tutted and waved them out of the door, but Marlene noticed that she was smiling. "What do you want to do, Marly? It's sunny. We could go and sit by the lake."

Marlene nodded. She felt empty. Hogsmeade had terrified her. They had been told that if Sirius hadn't found them when he did they would not have made it back to the castle alive. She focussed on the warmth of James' arm around her and welcomed the feelings of comfort he always gave her. They walked through the school in silence. Everybody was in class, so they didn't run into anyone. When they got outside, the sunlight hurt Marlene's eyes. After sleeping for so long, the brightness was a shock. James led her to a tree by the lake, and they lay next to each other in the grass. It took a few minutes before either of them wanted to talk.

"What happened to Remus and Peter?" Marlene said, voicing a question that had only just occurred to her. She felt guilty for not thinking about them sooner.

"Wormy was just stunned so they revived him straight away and sent him back to the common room. Moony was as bad as we were but, er, he had to go home to visit his Mum. She's sick so they sent him home to be with her."

"Talk about bad timing," Marlene said. "I hope she's alright."

"I'm sure she will be. She gets sick every month," James said. He looked nervous, and messed up his hair with his hand. "That was really, really scary, Marly. I thought we were all going to die. Some people were hurt really bad. Your brother and his friends managed to apparate a lot of the younger kids out, and some of the seventh year Ravenclaws did some incredible duelling, but it could have ended so badly. It's horrible."

Marlene nodded. She didn't want to speak about it. They lay in silence, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their faces. She wasn't sure how long they'd been there, but at some point Sirius came and found them. He leant against the tree and Marlene rested her head in his lap. He stroked her hair slowly. She asked how he knew where they were, but after a quick glance at James he shook his head and continued stroking her hair. She relaxed into him, feeling safe for the first time in the last two days.

James eventually sat up. His forehead was creased and he looked like he was thinking deeply. He shook the grass out of his hair and bit his lip. "You two...you're my family, you know. You and Moony and Wormtail, you're just as much my family as my Mum and Dad are."

"We know, Jamie," Marlene said with a sigh.

"I know you do. I was just thinking about everything. This war...we could lose a lot of things we care about. We could lose people we care about. I don't know if I can handle that."

"Haha, don't worry Prongs," Sirius said. "We're Gryffindor lions, us. We'll get through this. If anyone's going to make it out alive it'll be us." He stopped stroking Marlene's hair and stretched his arms out above his head. "WE ARE THE FUTURE."

Marlene looked at him in disbelief. He looked a little embarrassed. They spent a minute staring at each other, and then she started to giggle. The sound surprised her. She had felt like she wouldn't be able to laugh, but once she had started she was unable to stop. James looked bemused, but slowly started to smile, and then he was laughing with her. They rolled around in the grass, laughing hysterically. Marlene clutched her stomach, tears of mirth cascading down her cheeks. Sirius was trying to make them stop, but eventually joined them in their euphoria. They were all still alive, and they were still all able to laugh, and for the moment that seemed to be all that mattered.

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**A/N: Sorry, I know this is a short chapter but I figured it was better to upload this than nothing at all. I'm mid exam season so haven't had much time to write. If you've enjoyed reading this pleaseeee review, especially if you've favourited the story. Lots of love xx**


	5. OWLs

**A/N: This chapter overlaps with 'Snape's Worst Memory' from The Order of the Phoenix. Any dialogue that's taken directly from J.K. Rowling is in bold**.

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**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine**

**Chapter Four, June 1976**

_The Grindylow has long fingers, which enable it to establish a firm grasp on its victims. Their grip is strong, and when defending oneself against a Grindylow one must break the grip. The Grindylow's weakness is that their fingers are very brittle, especially when out of water. A revulsion jinx can be used to break their grip. If underwater, the spell is less powerful because it must be non-verbal. However, the resulting jet of boiling water should be enough to force the Grindylow to release you, at which point it can be stunned. _

'**Five more minutes!'**

Marlene chewed her pen lid. She couldn't think of anything else to say. She flicked back through her paper, double checking her answers. She shuddered as she saw her detailed answer about the effects of a dementor's presence. It brought back memories she'd rather suppress, but she knew it would have gained her full marks for that question. She felt quite optimistic about her Defence theory. The practical could have gone better but she was fairly confident that she could at least score an E, if not an O. She just hoped that she hadn't made any silly mistakes. She read through everything one more time before concluding that there was nothing more she could do. She closed her paper and instead glanced around the exam hall.

Remus was sitting in the seat in front of her, scribbling furiously. He was smirking slightly, seeming to find one of the questions amusing. Marlene wasn't sure why this was. Remus usually worried a lot about his exams, and the second half of the paper had all been about dark creatures. She couldn't think of anything particularly funny about boggarts, werewolves and grindylows, but she was glad that Remus didn't seem too stressed. She couldn't see James because he was somewhere behind her, but she could just about catch sight of Lily and Sirius near the front. Lily was biting her lip and looked anxious. Sirius was rocking in his chair and didn't seem at all perturbed by the exam. Samara Brookes was sitting behind him, watching him and twirling her blonde curls around one finger. Marlene rolled her eyes.

'**Quills down please!' **Professor Flitwick called. **'That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! Accio!'**

Marlene laughed, watching the rolls of parchment knock Flitwick to the floor. Alice and Samara jumped up to help him out, but she could see that Lily was laughing too. She swung her bag over her shoulder and went to join Lily. They left the hall together. Lily looked grumpy.

"I don't know if I got enough differences between werewolves and animagi for 10b," Lily said. Her eyes were watery and she looked pale. "I wrote about how werewolves can't transform by choice, and how when in human form they don't have any distinctive, wolflike features, and then I couldn't think of anything else. Did you get any other points? I thought two was probably safe because it was only a one mark question, but I wanted three and my mind just went completely blank."

"Lily," Marlene said, exasperated. "I only said the choice thing, and I think that's fine. Please please please can we not talk about the exam. I think I did quite well, and you definitely did well, so let's go and sit by the lake and work on Transfiguration for tomorrow, okay? We can talk about how this one went when we get our results."

"Okay. You're right. We probably should look over Transfiguration. I need to look back at inanimate to animate objects. I'm not sure I remember it properly."

Marlene stopped listening to what Lily was saying. Lily liked to go through every question of every paper, and worry about specific things that might come up in whatever they had the next day. Marlene didn't want to think about the details. It just made her worried. She knew that her parents would be disappointed if she didn't do well, but she didn't see how stressing about it would make it any better. She preferred to sit the exams and not think about them again until she got her grade.

The two girls sat down by the lake and pulled their transfiguration books out of their bags. They were soon joined by Alice, Samara and Mary. Samara and Mary sat a little way away from them and seemed to be planning to sunbathe rather than study. Lily immediately launched into a discussion of the Defence exam with Alice, both of them insisting they would have done much worse than the other. Marlene rolled onto her front, spreading out her books in front of her and trying to concentrate on the words on the open page.

_Mammals are harder to vanish than invertebrates because they are anatomically more complex. A problem which can be encountered when vanishing larger mammals is that the flesh vanishes before the skeleton, causing excessive amounts of pain for the animal as well as making it impossible to reverse the spell. To avoid this, larger mammals should be transfigured into invertebrates before being vanished._

She sighed, and her eyes wandered to a small trail of ants, marching through the grass near Lily's elbow. Marlene flicked her wand at one of them, watching in satisfaction as it disappeared, and the leaf it had been carrying fluttered to the floor. She moved onto the next ant, vanishing them one by one and watching as the trail continued, not worrying about their predecessors' disappearances.

"Stop it. That's cruel," Alice took Marlene's wand out of her hand and gave her a stern glare.

"It doesn't hurt them," Marlene said, lying down with her head on her bag. "And it's practice. What if vanishing charms come up in our practical tomorrow and it's your fault that I fail?"

"You've had enough practice. You can vanish things perfectly well. Help me practice conjuring instead. I want a new necklace."

Marlene laughed and turned to the next page of the textbook. Alice always had the mindset that she would only study for things if she could see how they were useful to her. She found the concept of vanishing ridiculous, because she couldn't think of anything she would want to disappear. Everything in her life was too precious to her.

"Oh, for goodness sake. They've got Sev again," Lily said. Alice and Marlene both looked in the direction she was pointing. Snape was hanging upside down in the air, dangling from his left ankle. Sirius and James were standing beneath him and laughing. Remus and Peter were sitting under a tree close by and watching.

Lily stood up. Alice tried to grab her arm but she was already storming towards the boys. Marlene looked at Alice and shrugged. The two of them picked up their books and Lily's, and hurried to catch her up. Lily was screaming at James, who looked startled by the ferocity of her anger.

"**LEAVE HIM ALONE!" **Lily shouted. She had her wand out and was pointing it at James' forehead. Sirius stood next to him, frowning at her.

"**Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," **said James.

"**Take the curse off him, then!" **

James gave a sigh. Marlene couldn't work out whether he was actually upset by Lily's anger, or just playing along to wind her up more. He muttered the counter-curse and Snape dropped to the floor.

"**There you go," **he said, watching in distaste as Snape tried to untangle himself from his robes and get up. **"You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"**

"**I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"**

Marlene drew in a sharp breath, and heard Alice do the same. Lily blinked. She had tears in her eyes and seemed for a few moments to be lost for words.

"**Fine," **she eventually said, obviously trying to keep her voice under control. **"I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, **_**Snivellus**_**."**

Lily had always adamantly refused to call Snape by the nickname the Marauders had given him. Snape visibly winced as she spoke.

"**Apologize to Evans!" **James shouted, pointing his wand back to Snape.

"**I don't want **_**you **_**to make him apologize," **Lily cried, turning back to James with tears running down her cheeks. **"You're as bad as he is."**

"**What?" **James said. He looked genuinely confused. **"I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"**

"**Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."**

Lily turned and hurried back towards the castle, brushing tears off her eyes with the back of her hand. Alice rushed straight after her to catch up. Marlene turned back to give James an apologetic smile. He was calling for Lily to come back but not achieving anything. Marlene followed her friends, struggling to carry Lily's books as well as her own. She found them back in the dormitory. Lily was lying on her front on top of her duvet, shaking and sobbing. Alice sat next to her, stroking her hair and making comforting sounds. Marlene put down their books and went to sit on Lily's other side.

"Come on, Lils. It's okay," Alice said. Lily didn't respond except with another sob. Alice looked at Marlene and tilted her head to one side, asking Marlene to try something.

"Lily honey, this is going to be okay. You always knew you and Snivellus couldn't stay friends for ever. You're too different, and I'm sure James is really sorry," Marlene said.

"I never thought Sev would say something like that to me," Lily said through her tears. "I thought he cared about me."

"He probably does still care about you, but he was upset and embarrassed and spoke without thinking. I'm not saying you should forgive him. It was an awful thing to say, but I don't think you should think it means he doesn't care about you," Alice said.

Lily sat up and leant against the headboard of her bed, hugging her pillow into her. "I don't think I _can _forgive him. It was just a shock to hear him say that, and Potter wasn't behaving any better."

Marlene tensed slightly. Lily usually knew better than to insult James when she was with Marlene. It put Marlene in a difficult position. Alice noticed her discomfort and put her arm around Lily.

"James didn't mean to upset you. He got carried away. I know you're hurt, but we can stay up here and not speak to either of them for the rest of the day. I have chocolate," Alice said.

Lily laughed shakily and wiped her eyes. She tucked her hair behind her ear and tried to smile. "I'm really sorry. I don't know why I'm so upset."

"It's fine to be upset. You and Snape have been good friends for a long time," Marlene said. "But we're here and we know you like us more than him anyway, so we'll make sure you're okay."

Lily put an arm around each of them and pulled them into a huge group hug. They laughed and lay next to her on the bed. After a while, Lily decided they should go back to working on Transfiguration. They sat on the floor surrounded by books, eating Alice's chocolate and laughing about the different ways they could use Transfiguration to get back at Snape. By the time they stopped working it was dark outside.

"Well, I think we're ready for tomorrow," Lily said. "One more subject and then we're free for summer."

The door to the dormitory opened, and Samara and Mary came in. Samara was panicking about how little studying she'd done, and Mary was trying to calm her down.

"Oh, Lily, Snape's outside the portrait hole. He says he'll stay there all night if he has to," Mary said distractedly, changing into her pyjamas while she spoke.

Lily frowned. Marlene watched her, trying to work out what she was going to do.

"I suppose I should speak to him. He'll scare the first years if he's there in the morning," Lily said with a small smile. Marlene laughed and gave her a quick hug. Alice called out good luck from the bathroom.

By the time Lily got back, Alice, Samara and Mary had all gone to sleep. Lily looked fragile and upset. Marlene sat on the edge of her bed until she fell asleep. Marlene had never seen Lily so upset. Lily got worried about the war, and stressed about exams, but this level of sadness seemed completely new to her.

Marlene carefully withdrew her hand from Lily's and stood up. She was going to go to bed, but suddenly wasn't tired at all. She pulled on her dressing gown and slowly opened the dormitory door, trying not to make any noise that would wake the others up.

The common room was almost empty. A couple of seventh year girls sat by the fire, probably trying to do some last minute cramming for their final N.E.W.T the next day. Apart from them, the only people still in the common room were James and Sirius, who were sitting on one of the window sills. James was asleep, his forehead pressed against the glass. Sirius was looking out the window. Marlene went to sit with them. She tapped Sirius' shoulder and he jumped.

"Sorry. You surprised me," Sirius said, standing up and gesturing to a sofa. Marlene sat down and he joined her. "How come you're still up? We have an exam tomorrow."

"Lily was upset. I sat with her, and by the time she was asleep I didn't feel tired anymore," Marlene said. "You?"

"Prongs was making a fuss. He claims to be broken hearted."

"He's so silly. When he talks normally to her they get on fine. He should figure out that all these public displays don't impress her," Marlene said, yawning.

"He will one day. For now we've been planning revenge on Snivellus. It's going to be the best prank so far," said Sirius with an evil grin.

"Don't tell me. I don't want to be guilty by association. Make sure Lily's not around for it. She's unimpressed with Snape but that won't stop her having a go at James."

"I'll just tell her it was all me. I'm bored of their arguments."

"Yeah. I think she's warming to him, though, apart from today obviously. She was quite impressed by how he handled everything at Hogsmeade."

"I've been thinking that. 10 galleons they'll be together before graduation?"

"I'm not an idiot, Sirius. I can't bet against you on that one."

"Fine. 10 galleons they'll be engaged before we graduate?"

"Done. There's no chance that's going to happen," Marlene shook his hand and leant her head back against the sofa. The tiredness she had been ignoring had suddenly hit her.

"Marly?" Sirius put his hand on her shoulder.

"Mmm?" Marlene couldn't be bothered to form words anymore.

"I'm glad...I'm glad we're friends."

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**PLEASE REVIEW. It'll probably encourage me to write longer chapters...**


	6. Jack's Choices

**A/N: Somebody pointed out to me that I had the year wrong and it should be 1976 to fit in with canon. I've changed that for this chapter and will go back and edit the others. This chapter takes place a few weeks after the one before, not a year later. I hope the change isn't confusing**

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**Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me**

**Chapter Five, July 1976**

"You're too thin," Marlene's Mother looked her up and down, frowning slightly. "I don't want people to think we can't afford to feed our children. You look unhealthy, and that skirt is not appropriate. The elves have taken your trunks upstairs. Change before dinner. Your Father and I would like to speak to you both. We will expect you in the Dining Room at half past seven."

Marlene watched her Mother sweep down the corridor, waiting for one of the house elves to open the sitting room door for her. She didn't look back at her children as she left them standing by the front door.

"Ah well, it could have been worse," Jack said with a crooked grin. Marlene rolled her eyes and followed her brother up the stairs. Jack walked with her to her room, kissed her on the forehead, and went next door to find his own things.

Marlene leant against her closed door, breathing deeply to control her anger. It hadn't always been like this. In her first few years at Hogwarts, her parents had been excited to see her in the holidays, and had showered her with hugs and kisses as soon as she got off the train. As she had grown older, and the Death Eaters gained more power, they had grown increasingly anxious about the way she conducted herself, and coming home was no longer something to look forward to. She opened her wardrobe and found a set of deep red, velvet dress robes and black heeled shoes. She changed quickly, and then walked to her mirror, plaiting her hair into a tight, long braid, and applying a thick coat of red lipstick. She hated eating dinner with her parents. Most of the time they were too busy to sit down and eat as a family, and she and Jack would eat together in the kitchen. When they did eat all together, her Mother insisted that it was a formal occasion.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Marlene checked her reflection one more time before answering it. Jack stood outside. He held out his bow tie to her and she took it out of his hands. He had always struggled with it, and they kept it a secret that he needed his baby sister to help him tie it. He was wearing black dress robes, and like her had chosen velvet.

"What's the time?" Marlene asked, straightening the tie and standing back to make sure it looked suitable.

"We have five minutes. Give me your hands. I'll take off the nail varnish," Jack said. She held out her hands and he took out his wand and tapped each nail individually. She scowled as the chipped gold disappeared. It was probably sensible, though. There was no point frustrating their parents more than they needed to.

They entered the Dining Room in silence, sitting down opposite each other at the table. Their parents were already seated at the heads of the table, and it felt like there was too much space between them all. Marlene's mother made a small gesture, and a house elf approached the table, pouring red wine into each of their glasses and placing the bottle back down in the center of the table, between Marlene and Jack.

"You look very lovely, Marlene." Marlene looked up to smile at her Father. "I don't think I've seen you in those robes before."

"Yes. It's certainly an improvement," her Mother contributed.

Marlene didn't let go of her smile, but she took a larger gulp of wine than she had intended to when she had picked up the glass.

"Your Mother and I wanted to talk to you both about something important," her Father continued. "I trust that you're both aware that we are now officially at war?"

Marlene nodded and Jack made a small sound of acknowledgement.

"I thought you would be. Now, the two of you are in a relatively safe position. Our blood is still respected and you should not be at risk."

Marlene looked up at Jack. His jaw was set and he looked frustrated.

Her Father did not seem to notice his son's discomfort.

"However, the Death Eaters have been starting to, er, _pressurize _us into choosing a side."

There was silence for a few moments. He was clearly struggling to make his point. Marlene was puzzled by what he was telling them, but Jack seemed to understand.

"So they want you to join them?" Jack said. His bad mood was now obvious.

"They have made several requests."

Jack opened his mouth to say something more, but their Father hadn't finished.

"We have not accepted their offers. Your Mother and I both believe that whatever one's views on blood purity are, the Death Eaters' tactics are morally unacceptable. We will not be joining them."

Marlene exhaled. She hadn't realised she had been holding her breath.

"Our decision will not change, but you both need to realise that the longer we refuse to comply with their demands, the more danger we place you in," their Mother said. She stopped speaking as the house elves served starters, but continued as soon as they had left the room. "We need both of you to act in a way that does not cause offence. These are dangerous people. We cannot afford to upset them."

"And by 'upset them,' what do you mean?" Jack asked. He still looked angry, but he picked up his spoon and took a mouthful of soup, calmly waiting for his Mother to respond.

"Well, although we are not fighting with them, we wouldn't want them to get the impression that we are fighting _against _them."

"So...we shouldn't join the Order of the Phoenix?" Jack looked at his Mother without blinking. She paled.

"How do you know about the Order of the Phoenix?" Their Father had put down his spoon and was watching his son carefully. He spoke in a measured voice, but Marlene could tell that all three of them were no longer calm.

"They asked me to join them," Jack said. He took another spoonful of soup. Marlene copied him, trying to act like this was a normal conversation.

"Well, you will have to tell them that you won't be able to take up their offer." Their Mother's voice was quiet but firm.

Marlene caught Jack's eye and gave a tiny shake of her head. He wouldn't be able to win if he argued with them. He gave an almost imperceptible shrug and she sighed. He had always been stubborn.

"I'm sorry. I already accepted. I'm an official member of the Order, and as long as my N.E.W.T results are what I've been hoping for, I'll also be joining the Auror department at the Ministry." Jack lifted his glass and tipped the rest of the wine back down his throat.

The tension in the room was horrible. Marlene watched her Mother's cheeks flush, and her Father's eyes narrow. She reached her foot out under the table and pressed it against Jack's. Jack returned the pressure. She knew he was scared. He had strong opinions, and wouldn't let their parents' concerns affect his choices, but she knew he also wouldn't want to upset them.

"I had planned to set you up with a job in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. We can still do that. You don't need to take such a dangerous job," their Father said.

"I know. It's not about _needing _to take the job, though. This is just what I _should _do. It's what we should all be doing."

"You will be putting us all in danger."

"And I don't want to do that. I really don't, but I don't think we have a choice. If everybody just stood back to keep themselves safe then he'd never be defeated."

"You're being selfish. You should consider the safety of the family."

"No, Dad. You're being selfish. Both of you are being fucking selfish," Jack's voice was getting louder. "People are dying out there and you're playing these ridiculous mind games, claiming that you're trying to keep us safe? It's not keeping us safe. Do you know Marlene and her friends had to face three Death Eaters and a full blown Dementor attack? Of course you know. There's no way Dumbledore wouldn't tell you. But you didn't come up to the school to check up on her, because that would have made it look like you didn't _approve _of the Death Eaters attacking innocent children. We're living in a world where five underage kids have to duel for their lives when all they've done is gone to get a Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. So don't you dare call me selfish for admitting that I don't like it, and for doing something to change it."

Jack stood up, tipping his bowl over with the sudden movement. Soup spilled out onto the polished wood of the table. He shoved his chair back and made to leave the room.

"You sit back down." The instruction came from their Mother. "You will sit down, and you will eat with us. We will pretend we didn't experience your little outburst, and tomorrow you will go with your Father to the Ministry to have a look at jobs in International Magical Cooperation."

"Did you not hear me?" Jack's voice was disbelieving, but Marlene couldn't feel surprised by her Mother's reaction. Her parents preferred to ignore things they didn't want to acknowledge. "I meant everything I said. I _will _be joining the Order of the Phoenix and I _will _start training as an Auror. If you really wanted to protect us, you'd fight with me to get rid of the people that are putting us in danger. I am so fucking disappointed that I have to call you my parents."

Marlene watched as Jack grabbed the half empty wine bottle and swept out of the room with it. She started to stand up to follow him, but a glare from her Mother kept her still.

"Well," her Mother began, all her attention now directed at Marlene. "I am afraid that your brother's actions force more responsibility onto you. _Please _don't embarrass us at the Dolohovs' dinner party in a few weeks, and we're relying on you to keep our family's protection from the Blacks. Without our arrangement with them we would be in even more danger."

Marlene nodded. Truthfully, she wanted to copy Jack and openly declare her support for Dumbledore, but she knew that it wasn't worth it. When she left school, perhaps she would feel able to disobey her parents and fight for what she believed in, but for now there was nothing she could do.

"Thankyou. You may be excused. Your Father and I want to talk," her Mother sounded tired, and waved her hand slightly in the direction of the door. Marlene stood up and hurried out of the room and up the stairs. Tears were prickling her eyes. She opened the door to Jack's room without knocking.

Jack was lying on the floor next to the window. He was holding the bottle of wine he had taken from dinner, and Marlene was fairly sure he had refilled it.

"Sorry, Marly," Jack looked up at her. "I didn't mean to leave you with them."

Marlene crossed the room and sat down next to him. He offered her the wine and she took a gulp, and then a few more.

"You did the right thing," she said. "I'd do the same, I think, if it was me that had finished school."

"I've just had enough of them. I want to act the way I think is right. They're not good people."

"Are you going to leave?" Marlene said, voicing the concern she had been worrying about since the argument broke out.

"No, Marly. I'll stay with you for the summer. I don't want you to be here by yourself."

Jack tucked his arm around Marlene's shoulders and they sat together, watching the sun setting outside, passing the wine bottle back and forth, Jack occasionally refilling it.

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**A/N: This is hopefully the last short chapter I promise. My exams finish in a week so then I won't be so pushed for time. Thankyou so much to all of you who have been reviewing. It really means so much to hear what you think about my writing. In response to someone's question about what Marlene looks like, I imagine her to look a bit like Barbara Palvin. Google her, she's beautiful. **

**Pleaseee review if you've read this. It takes a lot longer to write it than it does to review and getting feedback really makes it worth it. I appreciate every review I get. If you've written your own stuff and leave me a review I'll have a look at your work too (yeahh, I've resorted to bribery now, don't judge me).**

**Hope you're still enjoying it, lots of love xx**


	7. Pureblood Parties

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize**

**Chapter Six, July 1956**

Marlene slouched back in her chair, tilting her champagne glass and watching the bubbles in the drink rise to the surface and burst. Jack was with the Prewett brothers and James had been dragged into a conversation with Barty Crouch. He had looked pleadingly at her but she had decided she'd rather sit by herself than listen to how well Barty's Father was doing at the Ministry. They always tried to avoid talking to Barty. Marlene knew he was probably just lonely. His Father worked hard and his Mother was often unwell, but she couldn't help the fact that she found him dull. He seemed to respond to his Father's absence by telling everybody else how important the family was, and she didn't want to listen.

The annual Dolohov dinner party was always dull. When she was younger, Marlene's parents had let her stay at home with the house elves, but she was now expected to make an appearance. She had been forced into elaborately embroidered dress robes and had spent several hours having her hair and make up fixed for her. Her Mother wanted her to 'make an impression.' The Dolohovs had high standards and Marlene's parents insisted that it was an honour to be invited. All the large pureblood families were there, with the obvious exception of the Longbottoms, who had allowed their daughter, Frank's sister, to marry a muggleborn, and had not been forgiven by society. Alice's parents had declined their own invitation for fear that Alice would be given a hard time because of her own involvement with Frank. Once a family had been branded as blood traitors, it was not safe to be too closely associated with them.

"You let me down, Marly," James had escaped from Barty and found his way to her side, his own glass of champagne clutched tightly in his hand. "That was the longest twenty minutes I've ever endured, and that's including all the History of Magic classes we've been to."

"How did you get rid of him?" Marlene laughed and didn't bother apologizing. She knew that James would probably have done the same to her if she hadn't left first.

"I didn't have to. Sirius' cousins called him over. They said they had a proposition for him," James said, frowning.

"Sounds ominous."

"Yeah. Ah well...it gave me a chance to escape. You want to dance?" James held his hand out and Marlene took it, finishing her drink and leaving the glass on the floor by her chair. James wrapped his arms around her waist and she reached to link her hands behind his neck. They revolved slowly at the edge of the dance floor.

"We haven't done this for ages," Marlene said, leaning her head against James' chest.

"What, danced? I always try to make you dance and you say no," James grinned and looked down at her.

"You're usually very drunk, Jamie. It's not really dancing when you've had a bottle and a half of firewhisky. It's more me dragging you across the floor until you pass out and Sirius and I have to carry you to bed. No, this is nice. I mean, being here isn't nice, but I like the dancing."

"It's okay. You're better than you were when we were kids. I used to have bruises on my toes for a solid week after every party."

"You can talk. Do you remember when I had to go to hospital because you spun me round so fast I crashed into that lamp at the Mulcibers' house and it cursed me?"

"I maintain that that was in no way my fault," James said, lifting up his arm to twirl her around. She spun and came back to his chest, placing her arms back around his neck.

"That excuse didn't work at the time. There's no way it'll work now," Marlene said with a smile. She pushed his chest gently and he stepped back quickly, treading on the robes of the woman behind him. The woman turned around and glared.

"Sorry about that, Bella. Marlene gets a little overenthusiastic with her dancing," James said smoothly. Marlene stamped on his foot and he winced but didn't look away from Bellatrix Lestrange, who looked furious.

"One would think that you'd be paying slightly more respect to your betters," Bellatrix began, her voice quiet but harsh.

"My blood's as pure as yours," James said. Marlene frowned at him. He usually refrained from mentioning blood status, arguing that by even admitting there was a difference between purebloods and muggle borns you were accepting the existence of prejudice. She tugged at his sleeve, trying to move him away from the argument. Although she had been wearing a mask, Marlene was convinced that it had been Bellatrix they had met in Hogsmeade. The memory of their encounter still terrified her, and she didn't want to have anymore contact with the Lestranges than was absolutely necessary.

"And you are not worthy of it," Bellatrix spat. Rodophus Lestrange, who she had been dancing with, grinned in agreement. Her sister Narcissa stopped dancing with Malfoy and made her way over to join them, pulling Lucius behind her.

"I think that we may have a different idea of what makes a person worthy," James said calmly. Marlene was sure he must be more scared than he was acting. He knew what Bellatrix was capable of.

Bellatrix opened her mouth to respond but it was Lucius who spoke. "Perhaps you should be more careful, Potter. You may not have realised, but we are very aware of the part your Mummy and Daddy have chosen to play in this war, and I'm sure that it doesn't come as a surprise to you that we are not very happy about it."

Marlene watched James' face pale. Neither of them spoke.

"Aw, has baby Potter not got anything to say?" Bellatrix said with a twisted smile.

"It seems that he's used up all his words on corrupting our cousin," Narcissa said. Unlike her sister, she was unsmiling. "It's no wonder he's become so intolerable, spending all his time with this scum. If he had only taken his suitable space in Slytherin we wouldn't be having all this trouble." She was examining her nails as she spoke, and seemed not to realise the effect her words would have on James, who cared more about his best friend than himself.

"Sirius makes his own decisions," Marlene said, joining in the conversation for the first time. Her parents wouldn't want her to get involved in this argument but she knew James would be hurt by the implication that it was his fault Sirius struggled with his family. "If he's offended you it didn't come from James."

Bellatrix gave a manic laugh. "There you go, Cissy. We weren't too harsh on him afterall. He brought it all on himself."

Narcissa gave a small nod. "I can't say it's very reassuring. I'd be more forgiving if we could put it down to bad company. I had hoped there was still an element of Black left in him. Now that it seems there is not, I suppose your punishment was appropriate."

"What punishment?" Marlene said. "What did you do to Sirius?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about. Our cousin has showed some lapses in judgement this summer. Our Uncle invited us to join him in teaching him what happens to filthy blood traitors. He shouldn't make the same mistakes again," Bellatrix said, taking Rodolphus' hand and leading him back onto the dance floor.

Marlene looked pleadingly at Narcissa, hoping that she would answer the question, but Malfoy had already asked her to dance again, and the two of them left without looking back at James and Marlene. Marlene started to walk towards Bellatrix, hoping to repeat her question, but James held onto her arm and stopped her.

"It's not worth it, Marly," he said. "You don't want to give her a reason to hate you."

"But what about Sirius? What if they've done something really terrible?" Marlene was close to tears. The coldness in Bellatrix's voice had frightened her. She knew that Sirius had not been close with his family for a long time, but the idea that they could actually hurt him hadn't occurred to her until now. She had always assumed his cousins would be somehow less evil when with their own family.

"I know. I'm worried too, I promise, but she's not the right person to ask." James was looking anxiously around the room, searching for someone.

"So what? We're just supposed to let it go, sit back and hope for the best?"

"Don't be stupid. When have I ever sat back and hoped for the best? Come on," James said and gestured towards the door.

"Where are we going?"

"To find out what's happened to my best mate."

Marlene followed James across the room to the garden door, giving Jack a small wave when she walked past him. He was standing by the bar with the Prewett brothers, making the most of the free alcohol. He blew her an enthusiastic kiss and turned back to his friends. James ushered her through the door into the garden and told her to wait. She leant against the wall and looked out at the gardens. Enchanted lanterns were suspended in the air over the patio, spreading an orange glow across the grass. She crossed her arms tightly, shivering in the evening chill.

"What do you want? I told you not to come near me." Marlene looked up, recognizing the voice. James had come back, dragging Regulus Black with him. Regulus' face was flushed, and he rubbed his arm when James let go.

"Get talking," James said, pulling out his wand and pressing it against Regulus' neck. Regulus flinched but didn't speak. James pushed his wand further against Regulus' skin.

"I don't know what you want," Regulus' voice sounded strained, and Marlene pulled James' hand back, not wanting Regulus to get hurt.

"Don't give me that. We just had a nice little chat with your cousins. What happened to Sirius?" James said.

"It's not really any of your concern."

"Is he okay?" Marlene asked, her forehead creased. She hadn't spoken to Regulus before, and didn't like the way he spoke to James.

"Nothing for you to worry about, McKinnon. He was just taught some important family values."

"If I were you," James said cautiously. "If I were you, I'd want to get this conversation over and done with as quickly as possible. You wouldn't want Mummy to see you outside talking to a nasty blood traitor, would you? People might get the wrong idea."

"What do I get if I tell you?"

"Tell me, and I'll tell my Mother not to send the letter she's written inviting you to stay with us for the rest of the summer."

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I? I'm sure your parents would love to read it. It's very complimentary, she wrote all about how I'm always talking about you, and how much fun we have together at school."

James was smirking, and Marlene gave a dry laugh, although she didn't really think anything was funny. She could see how scared Regulus was by James' words, and it made her more fearful for Sirius. If the idea of his parents thinking he was friends with a Potter could terrify Regulus so much, what did this mean for his brother? The Blacks definitely knew that Sirius was a Gryffindor, and presumably had heard who he had chosen for friends.

"Well played," Regulus said, and turned to Marlene. "He's okay."

Marlene breathed a sigh of relief, but Regulus hadn't finished speaking.

"He's okay for now, just about, but the family isn't happy with him. He was very vocal about some of his opinions, and our parents weren't pleased. They told him that they expected him to stop socializing with mudbloods and blood traitors, and should behave in a manner more fitting for a Black and be proud of his blood."

"That's it?" James said, finally lowering his wand.

"Er, no. That would have been it if he'd not felt the need to respond. He said the only thing he's proud of is the fact that he's managed not to subscribe to the disgusting traditions they've tried to force him into. He said the smartest witch in your year is a mudblood, and that he can think of no better people to spend time with than blood traitors. He said a lot of terrible things, and when he'd finished, Father thought it appropriate to invite our cousins to practice their unforgivable curses."

Regulus' voice didn't falter as he spoke, but his confident grin had been replaced with a worried frown. Marlene remembered James explaining that Regulus wasn't like the rest of the Black family, and that Sirius hoped he'd one day realise that he didn't have to meet their expectations.

"It wasn't pretty," Regulus said. "Bellatrix prides herself on the intensity of her cruciatus. He was begging them to stop within minutes, but they waited until he was hardly conscious and promised to come back later and give him more." He looked up at James. "Can I go back in now?"

James jerked his head and Regulus left them. James' face was pale. Marlene reached out to touch his arm but he shook her off and leant back against the wall, bending his knees and dropping to the floor. Marlene crouched down next to him but didn't sit, knowing that her Mother would be furious if she got mud on her dress robes.

"We shouldn't have asked," James said. He looked ill.

"Don't be stupid. Of course we should have asked. He's our friend, and we needed to know if he was okay."

"But now we know he's not okay and there's nothing we can do about it."

"We could try to get him out?"

"Have you ever spoken to Sirius about Grimmauld place?"

Marlene shook her head and James sighed.

"It's pretty much impossible to get into if you're not welcome, and even if we made it in it'd be unlikely we could get out again. They'd have no problem killing us if we were trespassing. The Blacks have a lot of influence in the Ministry, and could almost certainly get away with it. We wouldn't stand a chance."

"So what do we do? We can't just leave him."

"I don't know, Marly. I guess we just have to wait, and hope they stop hurting him."

"But that's horrible. Surely there's some way around it. Can't your parents...?"

"Have you seen the way my parents are treated by these people? Mum wants this to be the last party we come to. It's not safe for us here anymore. Everybody knows we're with Dumbledore. We're having to reinforce security around the house to _protect _us from these people. Nobody from our family could have any power over the Blacks."

Marlene couldn't think of anything to say in response. The two of them sat in silence, thinking about their friend and the suffering he was going through. Marlene had never known how bad Sirius' family life was. He had always spoken quite freely about his dislike of his family, but she hadn't realised the way that they treated him. She had thought it was just a clash of opinions, not a situation that caused him physical harm.

"There you are, Marly," Jack leant out of the door and waved at Marlene and James. "I've been looking for you. Mum says you have to dance with me to show everybody how wonderful we are." He hiccuped and laughed, holding his hand out to her. She stood up and took his hand, giving a small smile to James. James nodded to her but made no movement.

Jack lifted Marlene up and spun her around, making her giggle and temporarily forget about everything that had happened with Sirius. The free champagne had made Jack wobbly, but a more enthusiastic dancer, and they laughed together as he repeatedly trod on her feet. They danced past their parents, who were waltzing carefully at the center of the dance floor. Marlene saw her Mother smile approvingly at her, and grinned back. She suddenly felt very lucky, knowing that she could feel safe in the knowledge that she was loved and cared for.

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They didn't get home until well after midnight. Marlene didn't bother showering, instead changing quickly into her comfiest pyjamas and crawling under her quilt without even taking off her make up. Her eyelids were heavy, and she didn't have any time to think about the events of the evening before sleep overtook her.

She was woken by a loud tapping noise. She opened her eyes and yawned, confused about where the noise was coming from. She had not closed her curtains before going to sleep, and although it was still night, the sky was starting to lighten. Marlene pulled on her slippers and approached the window, realising the source of the tapping noise. She recognized Apollo, James' owl, and pulled open the window to let him in. He held out his leg to her and she took the letter, pouring some water into a bowl for Apollo before opening it. It wasn't unusual for James to write to her, but she was surprised he had sent anything so late. The Potters had left the Dolohovs' house long before Marlene and her family, and she would have expected James to be in bed.

Marlene unfolded the tightly rolled scroll and smoothed it out on the window sill. The handwriting was messy and looked rushed, and the edge of the parchment was stained with a sinister red.

_Marly,_

_Padfoot's here. He got out and managed to apparate before they reached him. He's not looking good though - splinched on top of everything else. He collapsed as soon as we opened the door. Mum and Dad haven't been able to fix him up. It's scary. _

_I don't know what to do,_

_J x_

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**A/N: I would very much love it if you all left me a review to tell me what you think. It's such a good reason for me to keep writing, and also really constructive to get feedback, so basically a winning situation for you: you get quicker updates, and I write better because I know what you like/dislike. **

**I haven't properly proofread this chapter because I was very aware that I'd made you wait longer than usual and wanted to get it up, but hopefully there aren't too many mistakes and I will come back and edit it soon if there are.**

**I hope you're still enjoying the story, and will try to have a look at and review some of your work if you do the same for me. Lots of love xx**


	8. Sirius Black

**Disclaimer: It's not mine**

**Chapter Seven, July 1956**

Marlene screwed up the letter in her hand and took a deep breath before leaving her room. She ran down the corridor and around the corner, throwing open the door to her parents' room. They weren't supposed to enter without knocking, but she thought it would be okay given the circumstances. She approached the four poster bed and pulled back the curtain.

"Mother! Mum, wake up," Marlene shook her Mother's shoulders.

"What is it darling? Go back to sleep. We can talk about it later on." Her Mother sounded tired and didn't open her eyes as she spoke.

"MUM!"

Her Mother sat up and rubbed her eyes. Marlene held James' letter out to her and she took it, her eyes flickering over the scribbled words.

"It's Sirius, Mummy. His family..." Marlene didn't know how to finish her sentence, but her Mother seemed to understand. She stood up and opened her wardrobe.

"Mum, we don't have time. This is important. The Potters are aurors, not healers. They _need _you." Marlene had never spoken so rudely to her Mother, but she couldn't help herself. James' letter had made her panic and she couldn't make herself worry about her manners.

Her Mother nodded, picked up her bag and took Marlene's hand. She spun around and Marlene felt herself sucked into the familiar tube of side along apparition. The world blurred around her and she clutched her Mother's hand tightly. Their surroundings reassembled themselves and Marlene found herself standing in the mud behind the Potters' garden. She remembered James saying their security needed to be reinforced, and assumed this meant that they couldn't apparate any closer to the house. Her bare feet squelched as she rushed towards the house, and she could feel the thistles in the grass scratching her ankles. She could hear her Mother running behind her.

Marlene was out of breath when she reached the house. She knocked frantically and pressed her face to the stained glass window on the door, trying to see whether anybody was coming to let them in. After what seemed like ages, the door opened and she was face to face with Mr Potter. He looked tired, and had what looked like a streak of blood across his pyjama shirt. He gave Marlene's Mother a nod and she swept past him and into the house. Marlene followed her into a room at the end of the corridor.

The floor was drenched in blood. Marlene stopped at the edge of the room, her eyes widening. Sirius was lying on the sofa across the room, moaning and clutching his stomach, which was bleeding profusely. She didn't understand how one person could bleed so much. Mr and Mrs Potter were standing a little way away from him, with their arms around each other. James was next to his friend, holding one of his hands, but Sirius didn't even seem to realise he was there. Marlene's Mother was crouching down next to the sofa, rummaging through her bag. She pulled out a bottle full of a luminous green liquid and poured it into Sirius' mouth. His moaning stopped and he went quiet. She then turned her attention to the wound on his stomach, muttering incantations and pulling different medicines out of her bag.

Marlene watched her Mother working, impressed by her skill. Before Jack had been born, she had worked at St Mungo's, and had been one of their leading Healers. It was clear that she was made for the job. Watching her, Marlene was sure that she would have been happier if she'd continued working, but that was not the way things were done in pureblood society. No matter how good you were at your job, if you were a woman with children, your place was within the home. It didn't matter that the house elves did most of the childcare. It was the principle that mattered.

Sirius let out another loud moan, as James helped Marlene's Mother peel off his shirt, revealing the full extent of his injuries. Deep cuts criss crossed over his chest, and one of his arms was cut through to the bone. The skin on his stomach had started to stretch back across the open wound with the potions Marlene's Mother had given him, but the blood was oozing through the new skin, staining it red and making it collapse back into the wound. Marlene let out a small cry and James looked up, noticing her for the first time. He stood up and walked through the pools of blood to reach her. He nodded towards the door, and they stepped out into the corridor. He closed the door quietly before turning to speak to her.

"It's good your Mum could come. We didn't want to take him to St Mungo's. His parents would be able to find him there. He's still underage so they have the right to be contacted about hospital admissions, and we didn't want them to get hold of him again, but we thought we might not have a choice. He's so much worse than I expected. They got back from the Dolohovs' and treated him to round two. It nearly finished him off."

"I don't know what to say."

"None of us do. Mum cried when she saw him, and Dad looked like he was going to curse something. They're used to seeing horrible things at work, but this is different I guess. It's different to see somebody you love hurt by the people that are supposed to love them."

James opened the door again and made to go back to Sirius, but his Mother shook her head and ushered him back outside.

"You two shouldn't be in here anymore. You can't help. I promise I'll let you know if there are any changes. Go and wait in the kitchen and do something to take your minds off it," Mrs Potter said, closing the door behind her without waiting for them to respond.

James scowled and tried to open the door again, but it didn't budge. It must have been locked from the inside. He released his anger by kicking the wood repeatedly, until Marlene pushed him across the corridor into the kitchen.

"She's right, Jamie. There's nothing we can do to help. We'll be most helpful by keeping out the way and letting my Mum work," Marlene said with a false, bright smile. James sat down at the kitchen table but didn't say anything in response.

Marlene sighed and turned to switch the kettle on, grabbing two mugs and starting to make tea. She knew that James wouldn't find it easy to stay away when he knew how much pain Sirius was in. The Marauders always seemed to get injured at school, and refused to leave each others' sides. They never left each other, but this was different. Sirius' injuries were life-threatening, and no good would come from James watching his friend suffering.

"Okay, James," Marlene said, placing a large mug of tea in front of him. "I know you're angry, and you don't need to talk to me, but I'm going to sit here and if you want to speak you can. You know I'm always on your side, even if you are being an idiot. So if you decide you want to have a chat about everything, or maybe a game of exploding snap to take your mind off it, I'm here." She picked up her own mug and watched James, but he still didn't say anything. He rested his head on the wooden table and turned away from her. She leant back in her chair and watched him in silence.

* * *

It was midday before anybody else entered the kitchen. James was asleep, drooling on the table. Marlene was leaning back in her chair, still holding onto her empty mug. She hadn't allowed herself to sleep. She didn't want Sirius to wake up without any of his friends being awake to meet him. She jumped when Mrs Potter came through the door, and then kicked James' shin to wake him up. He glared at her but sat up straight when he saw his Mother.

"Well," Mrs Potter said, looking directly at her son. "We think he's through the worst of it. The wounds are all closed and he's regained consciousness. I'm going to make some breakfast for us all. You can go in to see him if you want."

Marlene caught James' eye and he nodded. The two of them stood up and made their way back to the room Sirius had been in. Marlene held her breath as she opened the door, but the room looked much less sinister than it had during the night. The bloodstained floor had been cleaned, and although Sirius was pale, his bandages were clean and he was sitting up on the sofa.

"Hey, Prongs. I heard I scared you a little bit," Sirius said with a tired grin. James didn't say anything, but pulled him into a bear hug for a long time. Marlene hovered at the edge of the room, not wanting to intrude.

"I wasn't scared, mate. I was mildly concerned that I'd have to find a new Beater for my Quidditch team this year, but I wasn't _scared_."

"Glad to hear it. Real men don't get worried about things that aren't Quidditch. Rule number 9 of the Marauder Code. I thought we were going to have to revoke your membership."

"Don't be ridiculous. I came up with that rule, and I will stand by it for the rest of my life. We should probably discuss Wormy, though. He's not been paying much attention to rule number 2."

"He's allowed to think she's hot. She's not even your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend _yet, _Padfoot, but she will be one day so she's covered by rule number 2."

"SHUT UP," Marlene watched both boys look up at her shout, and bit her lip. "Stop acting like this is some joke that you can just forget. You nearly _died, _Sirius. You nearly died and we were scared and you can't just laugh about it and pretend it didn't happen."

Neither boy responded, so Marlene continued.

"I thought...I thought you weren't going to wake up. We've sat up all night waiting and not knowing what was going to happen...and it's my _fault._ I wanted to come and get you but James said we wouldn't be able to and then, and then I stopped even thinking about it. I was laughing and dancing with my brother while you were getting _hurt. _I should have been able to do something. I should have stopped it happening, and I didn't. I just tried to have a nice time, even though you might have died, and now you're awake and you're both just laughing about it all."

Tears were running down her face. She didn't want to be crying, but didn't bother brushing the tears away. She hadn't realised how upset she was until she had started speaking. Sirius took a deep breath and pulled himself up from the sofa. He took a few steps towards her, and reached out to touch her cheek.

"Shush, Marly. Don't cry. Please?" He stroked the tears off her cheek and cupped her face with both hands. "It's all okay. I'm not hurt, and even if I was it wouldn't be your fault. My family are a bunch of bigoted idiots. That's just how it is. You can't possibly blame yourself."

"I just," Marlene's words were cut off by a sob, and Sirius pulled her closer to him. "I kept thinking that if you had died, I would have been dancing while they were killing you."

"But that doesn't mean anything, Mar. That doesn't mean you did something wrong. If they had killed me, I'd want to know you'd be able to be happy. I'm glad you were dancing. I wouldn't want your life to be ruined just because mine was, and as it is I'm here anyway, and I'm safe, so how about we try to stop crying, yeah?"

Marlene nodded, but the sobs continued to rack her body, and Sirius didn't let go of her. She clung to him, pressing her face against his shoulder, which was now drenched in her tears. He rubbed her back, and whispered that it was going to be okay. She didn't really focus on the words he was saying, but could feel herself slowly calming down. Eventually, Sirius loosened his grip and looked at her. She was vaguely aware that James had left the room, but in that moment it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Sirius was alive and standing with her.

"Are we all better now?" Sirius asked with a frown.

Marlene nodded and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm really sorry, Marly," Sirius said. "I'm sorry if we weren't taking it seriously. I didn't know how badly it affected you. That was stupid of me. If it had been you or James I wouldn't have wanted you to laugh it off."

"No, you shouldn't be sorry. I overreacted. You shouldn't have to be comforting me when it was you that nearly died. I just panicked. You're one of my closest friends, and I know we don't really see each other when we're not with James, but I really care about you a lot."

"I care about you too. I promise. You make sure you tell me when you're upset, okay? Now, I think James went to investigate the breakfast situation. I suggest that we join him."

Marlene laughed shakily, and held Sirius' hand as they left the room. She had expected to go into the kitchen for breakfast, but the kitchen door was closed, and James was leaning his ear against it. He saw them and pressed a finger to his lips, before gesturing to Marlene to come and listen. She was going to tell him not to be stupid. Their parents deserved to have privacy, and the fact that the door was closed showed that they didn't want to be overheard, but she was curious, and decided that it couldn't hurt just to see what they were talking about. She leant against the door, and could hear Mrs Potter's voice through the wood.

"_This just shows how much we need you, Tess. Harold and I had no idea how to help Sirius. You're a wonderful Healer."_

"_I used to be. I'm not a Healer anymore, I'm a Mother, and my priority needs to be the safety of my children."_

"_But they're not safe anyway. Jack's joined us now, and if I know Marlene she won't sit back and watch her friends fight without doing her best to protect them. This is their war just as much as it's ours. Sitting back and hoping other people end it for you won't keep them safe."_

"_They're just children."_

"_No, they're not. They're old enough to make their own choices, and I expect that they will choose to fight for what is right. I think it's time you did the same."_

"_I've never been good at duelling anyway. I couldn't contribute anything."_

"_Don't be foolish. You know full well that's not what we're asking you to do. The Order is full of Aurors, and skilled fighters, but we don't have enough Healers. We can fight well enough to take some of them down, but we need to be able to pick ourselves up as well."_

"_Surely more Healers will be joining you? Jack said that Dumbledore's recruiting from the school now. Can't he choose people who are about to start training at the hospital?"_

"_There aren't enough of them. Healing used to be one of the most popular career choices for Hogwarts graduates, but people aren't signing on for it anymore. This war is changing everything. They're either the kinds of people that want to fight, and are trying to work for Law Enforcement in the Ministry, or they want to stay away from the war altogether. They don't want to work in a hospital filled with war casualties every day. You're our best chance."_

"_But I'm not a Healer. I haven't worked at the hospital in twenty years."_

"_Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you just saved the life of one of our sons. You're still a Healer, Tess, and you'd be able to help us. We're losing fighters every day. You could make a huge difference."_

"_I can't make my family a target."_

"_You can't protect them anymore. This has all gone too far. Unless you're planning on _joining _the Death Eaters..."_

"_You know I would never do that."_

"_Well, then they know you're not on their side, and if you're not with them you're against them. You might as well be against them by doing something useful."_

"_I don't know. I used to think I could make a difference, but this seems so huge. We don't stand a chance."_

"_We might stand a chance if we had someone like you. I've watched so many people die over the last year who could have survived if there was someone there to heal them, but we don't always have time to get them to hospital, and when we do we're pretty sure they've infiltrated the Healers. I'm sure some of them speed up deaths instead of preventing them."_

"_Don't say that."_

"_It's true. Look, Tess, you're my friend. We've been friends since school, and whatever you decide to do won't change that, but I'm really disappointed in you. I didn't think you were the type of person who'd do this."_

"_Do what? Try to keep the people I love safe?"_

"_No. You spend your whole time worrying about what impression you're making, and trying to stay on good terms with people who don't deserve the time of day from you. I never thought you'd sit back and let people get hurt when you could have prevented it."_

"_That's enough. I'm going to take Marlene home."_

"_Just think about it, okay? I think you know I'm right."_

They could hear footsteps, so Marlene and James moved away from the door to stand with Sirius across the corridor. Marlene's Mother threw open the door and looked startled to see them there. Her face was flushed and she looked upset. She grabbed Marlene's arm, her fingers digging uncomfortably into the flesh, and started to pull her towards the front door.

"We're going home, Marlene. I'm not needed here anymore."

Marlene rolled her eyes at James, who stifled a laugh, and walked with her Mother. She was still wearing her pyjamas from the night before, and felt a bit silly. Her Mother dragged her to make her walk faster. She was breathing loudly and seemed angry. Marlene wanted to talk to her about the conversation she had overheard, but they had never had the kind of relationship where they spoke about these things. Instead, she allowed her Mother to hold onto her tightly, and didn't complain when she apparated them both home without warning. Part of her was angry that her Mother wasn't working with the resistance against the Death Eaters, but it was hard to feel too annoyed when her motives were out of love.

* * *

**A/N: review review review. Please, I will love you x**


	9. Alice's House

**Disclaimer: It's not mine **

**Chapter Eight, August 1976**

"I've missed you so much. I'm so glad you're finally here. Lily's should be arriving soon so we'll all be together," Alice squealed, dragging Marlene's trunk up the stairs behind her. "You're sleeping in my room. I hope that's okay. I figured it's what we've always done so I didn't think you'd have a problem with it, but we can set up the guest room for you if you want."

"No, your room's fine. It's good," Marlene smiled. Since starting Hogwarts, she had always spent the last week of the summer staying with Alice's family while her parents went on holiday. Jack hadn't been old enough for them to stay at home alone, so they would both go and stay with friends. When Jack grew up a bit and she had the option of staying with her brother, Marlene decided that she had too much fun with Alice and would maintain the tradition.

"I got an owl from Peter saying that Sirius left home?" Alice said. She leant against the door to her bedroom to open it, and put the trunk down at the end of her bed. Two mattresses had been put down on the floor, and both girls sat down on them. Marlene tucked her duvet around herself before replying.

"Yeah. He's with the Potters."

"Have you seen him? Peter said he got in a big fight with his parents."

"He's okay now," Marlene said. She was reluctant to tell Alice that she had been with him. Sirius hadn't chosen to have her see him like that, and she didn't know whether he'd want Alice to know how bad it had been.

"I kind of knew he'd end up running away. The Potters have been like a family to him for years anyway." Alice didn't notice Marlene's discomfort. She lay back on her mattress and stretched out her legs, laddering her tights.

"He was unhappy at home. It's good that he's not there anymore. Nobody should be forced to stay in a place where they're miserable."

"Yeah. I feel sorry for Mrs Potter though. Imagine having to cope with both of them under your roof the whole time."

"I know. I never understood how she managed having James as her son. Adding Sirius is going to be a disaster."

"I wish I could be there to see it. They're bad enough at school where they have Remus to keep them in line. Nobody should let them live together when he's not there." Alice checked her watch and sat up. "Lily should be here in a minute. Mum went to pick her up and apparate her here. The Ministry wouldn't let us get her fireplace connected to the Floo. They said it was to protect muggle borns because it stops people being able to get in, but that's a load of rubbish. All it does is stops her getting out if something _does _happen. Mum was furious."

"Why would they do that?" Marlene was confused. Muggle households were usually allowed temporarily to be connected to the Floo network. It was one of the safer ways to travel, especially for underage witches and wizards who couldn't yet apparate.

"Mum thinks the Department must be being pressurized by someone. They've been enforcing all these new laws that just seem ridiculous. She's been going crazy trying to stop them, but nobody's been listening to her."

"I thought she was pretty high up. Doesn't she have some authority?"

"Nah, she's head of the Portkey Office, but they've pretty much left portkeys alone. She'd have to approve any motion they tried to put through and they know she won't so they haven't tried, but she hasn't got any control over the rest of transportation. They've introduced some mad rules about apparition as well. There are now designated apparition points in all wizarding areas, and you can't apparate to and from the areas unless you're in the appointed place. It's all being disguised as safety precautions but what it means is that if these places are attacked people can't escape. I mean, you can't apparate out of Hogsmeade anymore. If they'd done this a few months ago people wouldn't have been able to get the younger kids out when we were attacked. The world's going insane."

Marlene frowned and thought about Alice's words. She had heard from the Potters that some members of the Auror department were suspected of having changed their allegiance, but she hadn't thought about the way that other departments could be used by the Death Eaters. Changes like the ones Alice had mentioned were small, and hard to complain about, but would build up and mean that people were unable to keep themselves safe. She thought back to the conversation she had overheard between her Mother and Mrs Potter about some of the staff at St Mungos being on the wrong side, and shuddered.

There was a loud crack from outside, and both girls jumped up and ran down the stairs to meet their friend and say hello to Alice's Mother. Lily was outside, with a frazzled looking Mrs Green. Her long red hair was tied up in a high, messy ponytail and she looked tired. She launched herself at Alice and hugged her tightly before moving on to Marlene.

"Sorry I took so long. Petunia couldn't find her wedding invitations and insisted that I must have hidden them from her. I had to help her look for them before she let me leave. Mum and Dad kept telling her they didn't think I had anything to do with it, but you know how she gets."

Mrs Green sighed. "I don't know how you managed it Lily dear. Somebody needs to speak to that girl about her behaviour. Eventually I used a summoning charm to find the invitations, and then she screamed that she didn't want them anymore because they were _tainted._"

"I'm so sorry," Lily said earnestly, turning back to Mrs Green. "I really didn't expect her to say something like that to you. I get it all the time but I really thought that was just because I'm her sister."

"Don't worry about it darling. I'm just surprised that you've never mentioned the way she treats you before. Do come and visit whenever it gets too much."

Lily smiled in thanks, and picked up her trunk. They were going to go straight from Alice's house to school, so both Lily and Marlene had brought all of their things even though they were only there for a week.

"We're in my room," Alice said, pushing Lily towards the stairs. Alice was an only child and always got excited when she had visitors. Her Father had died when she was little, and the house was too big for just two people.

"How have you both been?" Lily asked as soon as they entered the room. "I'm so sorry for not writing more often. It's all been a bit crazy with the wedding plans. I don't know why I had to be involved. It's not like I'm invited."

"She didn't invited her own sister to her wedding?" Marlene said, tilting her head to watch Lily's reaction.

"Well, she said I could come if I insisted, but she's booked the church for a weekday during term and I don't really want to leave Hogwarts to spend time with somebody who doesn't want me there anyway. It would be leaving people that I love to go to the wedding of someone I hate."

Hate's a strong word, Lil," Alice said, leaning back into the same position she had been in before Lily arrived.

"Oh I know," Lily said with a grin. She turned to Marlene. "How's Jack?"

"He's fine. He's joining the Aurors and the Order. Our parents aren't too pleased. They've spent the whole summer talking to him about other possible jobs. Dad keeps dragging him along to the Ministry to talk to people in different departments, but he's not going to be swayed. The only thing that would stop him would be if his NEWTs. weren't good enough, but I don't think that'll happen. He's always done really well."

"I thought he wanted to play Quidditch?"

"Yeah, so did I. It was always his dream when he was younger, but he's not the type to watch horrible things happening without trying to stop them. I don't think he could live with himself if he wasn't doing everything he could to make all this stop."

"I guess that makes sense. I think if it was us graduating I'd want to be doing something to end this war. It's a shame, though. He would have looked hot playing professional Quidditch. You know how they take their shirts off at the end of the game. Yum."

"Ew. Lil that's my brother."

"That doesn't make him any less beautiful," Alice said. "Why did you think we bothered coming with you to watch them practice?" Lily laughed and gave her a high five. Marlene pressed her pillow against her face and groaned.

"You two are disgusting."

"Sorry Marly," Lily said, peeling the pillow away from Marlene. "It's just hard to find a decent guy who's also good to look at."

"That's not true. We know loads."

"Name me five without including your brother."

"Er, Frank."

"You can't have him. He's unavailable. We're talking about people I could be attracted to."

"That's not fair. You can't change the rules halfway through. Umm, well all four Marauders."

"I'll allow Remus. The others definitely don't count," Lily said.

What, why?" Alice said, sitting back up. "I agree you can't have Peter. He's a sweetheart, but he's totally the type of guy you go for based on personality rather than looks. You can totally have the other two though. I'd give up Frank if I thought I had a shot with Sirius or James. Sirius is like the definition of rugged and handsome, and James...well, I don't think I really need to explain. They're both delicious. They can definitely go on the list."

Lily laughed and punched her arm. "You don't mean that. You adore Frank. Anyway, I wasn't trying to say they weren't good looking. They're both _mildly _attractive."

"Extremely attractive?" Alice interrupted.

"Fine. They're both attractive, but you can hardly call them decent. They bully everyone they think is less cool than them, and that kind of arrogance is just repulsive. Marlene, I know you love Potter, but you have to admit he's never treated a girl well, and the way Black behaves is disgusting. You know last year he slept with every Ravenclaw girl from fifth year and above?"

"But he's so pretty. He totally gets away with it," Alice said. "And James is a good guy. You don't want to admit it because once you do you'll realise he's your future husband."

"So we've got James, Sirius and Remus on the list," Marlene said. "Don't argue Lily. You're outnumbered. Umm, the Prewett brothers can go on there too. That's five. I win."

"Is that true about Sirius and the Ravenclaws? How did you hear that?" Alice asked.

"I think so. I did prefect rounds with Emmeline Vance last year and she told me. What's worse is that they didn't know about it at the time. He had this really good line about how he had never thought he was the type to fall in love, and how he was scared of the feelings he thought he was developing, and he used it on _every _one of them. He'd ask them to keep the relationship a secret because he wasn't ready to confess that he'd let someone get so close to them."

"They believed that?" Alice snorted. "Aren't Ravenclaws supposed to be smart?"

"That's what I thought, but they did. They all kept it quiet until Amelia Bones told the sixth years in confidence. Apparently it caused chaos. Professor Flitwick had to get up in the middle of the night and shout at them all to act their age." Lily said.

"How did we not know about this?" Marlene said. Usually gossip seemed to get around Hogwarts within minutes of the event happening. The Hogwarts grapevine combined with Sirius' celebrity status within the school should have meant that they'd all heard about it. She felt a bit hurt listening to Lily's words, but shook the feelings away. She knew what Sirius was like. He had always slept around, and Lily was right about the way he treated girls. She didn't know why she had been hoping for Lily to say she'd been exaggerating. She had never cared who Sirius spent his nights with, and she wasn't going to start worrying about it now.

"They were embarrassed by how stupid they'd been, and because it all came out in the Ravenclaw tower they agreed not to say anything. I think the guys went along with it so their house wasn't laughed at."

"Why did Emmeline tell you?"

"She thought it was funny. She slept with him because she felt like it. He didn't need to use any lines on her, so she didn't feel like an idiot. She did make me promise not to say anything until it all died down, though. Lots of her friends were upset by it."

"They should be. They're all idiots. Never trust a guy that tries to keep your relationship secret; first rule of dating. Ah well, I guess we need to take him off the list of decent guys. Who can we replace him with? Amos Diggory's gorgeous. He's captaining the Hufflepuff Quidditch team this year I think, and he's a possibility for Head Boy so you'd like him Lil."

There was a knock at the door and the three of them called for Alice's Mother to come in. She carried in a tray with a pot of tea and a plate of biscuits. Three letters were propped up between the teapot and the empty mugs.

"Hello girls. I thought you might be hungry. Dinner's not for another two hours so I brought you some things up. Your school letters came as well," Mrs Green said, putting down the tray between the three of them and sitting down on Alice's bed.

Lily gave a small scream and covered her mouth. "OhmygoshIdidntknowtheywerecomingtoday."

"Er, what?" Alice looked at Lily with a puzzled expression and Marlene shrugged, picking up her own letter from the tray and taking a chocolate biscuit.

"Our results," Lily said, glaring at them both as if they should have understood her garbled words. "Those letters will have our OWL results." She drew in a deep breath. "Ooooo I'm so not ready for this. I'm sure I messed everything up. I definitely made at least two serious mistakes in Transfiguration, and I don't even want to _think _about Ancient Runes. I'm sure my translations weren't all accurate. I mean, I felt like it went quite well at the time but I'm thinking about it now and I'm just not feeling confident. Hopefully Potions was better, and Charms, but I can't just have two good results because I want to take six NEWTs."

"Well," Alice interrupted, holding her already open letter. "I got five OWLs. O in Herbology, Es in Charms, Potions and Transfiguration, As in Defence and Care of Magical Creatures. I failed Arithmancy, Astronomy and History of Magic, but it's not like I was going to take them this year anyway. I'm pretty happy. I should be able to take everything I want to. It might be a bit of a push to get them to let me take Defence."

She looked up at her Mother, biting her lip.

"I'll owl your teachers, but I don't think it will be difficult to persuade them to let you continue with it. With the current situation, they should be begging people to take Defence. Well done darling, I'm so proud of you. An O in Herbology! Your Father would be proud. He used to want to teach Herbology when we were younger." She sounded nostalgic. Marlene knew that Mrs Green didn't often talk about her late Husband, although Alice always longed to know more about him.

Alice smiled and hugged her Mother, then turned to Lily.

"Come on, Lil. You're top in our year. How bad can it possibly be? Open the envelope," she said with an encouraging smile.

Lily looked pale, and her hands were shaking a little as she stared at her letter.

"I...can't. I can't do it," Lily looked like she was about to burst into tears. Alice rolled her eyes and snatched the letter out of her hands, peeling open the envelope.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Lily. 9 Outstandings, and two Exceeds Expectations in Defence and Ancient Runes," Alice said, passing the letter back to Lily. Lily looked over it as if checking that she hadn't been lied to, and then stood up and quickly left the room, taking the letter with her.

"I think she's genuinely disappointed," Marlene said, shaking her head in confusion.

"She is an idiot. I swear if she comes back in here and tells me she should have done more work I will end our friendship," Alice said, systematically tearing up the envelope Lily's results had arrived in. "She got eleven OWLs. ELEVEN. That shouldn't even be possible. It must be setting some kind of record. You know she almost had to apply for a timeturner just to make her timetable possible?"

"I know. You should have lied to her and said she failed something just to see her reaction," Marlene said with a smirk. She was still staring at her own letter, unsure whether she wanted to open it. She knew that nothing had gone _badly, _but her parents would be expecting her to have done very well. Not for the first time, she felt jealous of Alice's relaxed relationship with her Mother. The Greens were a pureblood family that stretched back as far as anybody else, but Alice's Mother had decided a long time ago that she didn't want Alice to grow up with all the pressure usually placed on pureblood children. As long as Alice was happy, her Mother was proud of her. Marlene's parents were very different, and would think that anything less than an Exceeds Expectations was an embarrassment to the family. Jack had always had perfect grades, and she knew that the same would be expected of her.

"Come on, Marly. Open it up. You can't have done worse than me," Alice said.

"It'll be okay darling," Mrs Green contributed. "OWLs only matter because they restrict what you can take next year, and if you mess something up and they don't let you take it that usually suggests it's not a NEWT you'd enjoy anyway. These results are just useful guidelines for you to know your abilities. They're not anything to be scared of."

Marlene took a deep breath, and ripped open the envelope. She allowed her eyes to flicker over the words, and breathed a sigh of relief.

**Arithmancy **E

**Astronomy **E

**Charms **O

**Defence Against the Dark Arts **E

**Divination **A

**Herbology **E

**History of Magic **O

**Potions **O

**Transfiguration **O

It was as good as could be expected. Her parents wouldn't mind about her Divination grade. They had been surprised that she'd chosen to take the subject, and would be pleased that she definitely wouldn't continue with it. She would definitely not be in trouble, and she was relieved for that, but she couldn't help herself feeling a twinge of anxiety when looking at the small, black 'E' for Defence Against the Dark Arts. She had never been one of the best at Defence, and neither Lily nor Alice was good enough to help her when they studied together. She shouldn't have hoped for a better grade, but all the stories about the war made her wish she could do better.

Alice shuffled closer to her and read the letter over her shoulder. "Well done, you genius you," she said, ruffling Marlene's hair.

"Thanks," Marlene said, forcing a smile. She had done better than Alice in Defence, and didn't want to worry her by voicing her concerns. "Do you think I could borrow your owl quickly? I want to let my parents know how it went."

"Sure, you know where he is," Alice said, smiling brightly.

Marlene stood up, taking her results with her, and headed up the stairs to the tiny attic where Alice's owl lived. It was Alice's favorite room in the house, completely empty apart from a threadbare armchair and a black and white photograph of Alice's parents on their wedding day. It was quiet and dark, but Alice loved it, and Marlene understood why. She attached her results to the owl's leg and told him to take them to her parents. She didn't bother writing anything further, but didn't go back downstairs. She needed some time to herself.

She sat down in the armchair and wrapped a blanket around herself. She wished her Defence mark hadn't bothered her, but it had. She remembered how helpless she had felt during the Hogsmeade attack. She wasn't prepared for this war, but everybody seemed to think that it was only a matter of time before they were all thrown into it. Mrs Potter had said she expected that she'd be fighting, and she was sure that she couldn't watch Jack risking his life without joining him. She wanted to be able to protect her brother, and to look after James, who she was sure would also be joining the Order, but she didn't know how she was supposed to keep them safe if she couldn't look after herself. She drew the blanket more tightly around her shoulders and wiped a tear away from her cheek. It wasn't going to be a problem. An E was definitely enough to continue with the subject at NEWT level. She would just need to work harder this year.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I hope this has given you some of the Lily and Alice time you've been asking for :)**

**Thankyou so much for all of your reviews. The last chapter sent me over 50 reviews so thankyouuu everyone. It really means so much to me. **

**Keep letting me know what you think. Do you like Alice's character? I felt like I could do what I wanted with her because the books don't really give us much indication of what she's like. Leave me a review and give me your feedback if you're still reading. Thanks so much xx**


	10. Sixth Year

**Disclaimer: I wish it belonged to me, but it doesn't**

**Chapter Nine, September 1976**

Marlene kicked off her shoes and lifted her legs onto the seat next to her. They had got to Kings Cross ten minutes early, so had managed to get a compartment between the three of them. Marlene had the longest legs, so had insisted that she got a side to herself, with Lily and Alice sitting opposite her. Alice was scowling at her, trying to make her change her mind, but Marlene had already stretched out and was making the most of the space. Lily pulled out the Daily Prophet and started to read it. Alice sighed and picked at her nail varnish.

"I hate reading this at the moment. It's so depressing," Lily said, folding over the page.

"Why do you read it, then?" Marlene said, not opening her eyes to look at her friend as she spoke.

"Because it's really important. You two should be reading it too. We need to know that these things are happening. How can we hope to be prepared for this war if we don't know what it means? How else can we possibly hope to stay safe?"

"You could find yourself a man to take care of you?" James had appeared at the door to their compartment. Marlene opened her eyes and smiled at him. Lily looked angry.

"This isn't a joke, Potter. I can't believe none of you keep up to date on what's going on in the world. Do you know an entire muggle village was slaughtered last night?" Lily glared at James as she spoke, but Marlene felt like she was being told off as well.

"I do," James said. "It was my parents that went to help them."

"Well, they got there too late," Lily snapped. James winced. "150 people were killed, including 40 children. 10 of them were under three years old. They didn't even know magic existed, and now it's killed them. I know this place," she waved the newspaper as she spoke. "It's near my village. We used to go to church there at Christmas. I used to sit with these people and sing carols, and now they're all gone. There wasn't a single survivor."

Marlene shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The conversation had suddenly got very serious.

"I know, Lily. I'm sorry," James said, frowning at her. When she didn't say anything he shrugged slightly and turned to Marlene. "Look, I just came to see if you had space for us to sit with you. There aren't any free carriages."

"Sure. You can share their side," Marlene said. James laughed, shook his head and lifted her shoulders up, sitting down and allowing her to lean back into his chest. He was followed through the door by Sirius and Peter. Sirius sat down next to Alice and put his arm around her. She shrugged him off and he gave Marlene a wink.

"Where's Remus?" Alice asked.

"Prefect meeting," Sirius grunted, putting his arm back around her. "Shouldn't you be there too, Evans?"

Lily squeaked and stood up. Alice slid into the space she had vacated, kicking her legs into Sirius. He lifted up her feet and put them down on his lap.

"I can't believe I forgot about the prefect meeting," Lily said, rummaging through her bag. "Oh, I hope I'm not late. This is _such _a bad way to start the year." She pulled her prefect badge out of her bag and pinned it on to her shirt as she rushed out of the carriage. Peter sat down on Alice's other side and offered her a chocolate frog.

"How were your results?" Alice asked Peter, taking the frog and tearing the wrapper open.

"Oh, they were okay. I got six OWLs. None of them were Outstandings, but five Exceeds Expectations so I'm not too disappointed."

"Well, you beat me anyway," Alice said through a mouthful of chocolate. "I only got five altogether. It doesn't matter. History of Magic and me were never meant to be." She squeezed Peter's hand and he smiled at her.

"Prongs and me both got ten," Sirius said proudly. "Only failed History of Magic, and who passes that anyway?"

"Mar got an O in History of Magic," Alice said, crooking her neck to watch Sirius' reaction.

"You what?" Sirius said, looking back at Marlene. She waved her hand and didn't say anything. "Marly, you've let the side down. You didn't even _go _to most of the History of Magic classes."

"Yeah, but we have access to Lily's notes," Alice said.

"So why didn't _you_ pass, Green?"

"I said we have _access. _I didn't say we both took advantage of it."

Sirius laughed. "Girl after my own heart. Frank's a lucky man."

Marlene tensed at Sirius' words. She didn't understand why they affected her. Sirius had always casually flirted with all three of them, and she had never minded before. She nuzzled into James' chest, and he stroked her hair.

"You okay baby?" James whispered into her ear. She nodded against him and he put an arm around her. He hadn't called her baby for a long time. It was a name he only usually used when she was ill. She must have made her dislike of Sirius' words too obvious. She relaxed into James and closed her eyes again. She was vaguely aware of Alice arguing with Peter about something to do with Quidditch, but her eyelids felt heavy, and she was asleep before she could work out what Alice was trying to say.

* * *

"_We can have so much fun with you, can't we, itty bitty girl," Bellatrix's voice was loud in her ears, but Marlene couldn't see where she was. "Let's get warmed up, shall we? SANGUINIS CRUORIS."_

_Marlene looked down at her body, but couldn't see any harm. She waited for the blood to come but nothing happened, until her whole head was filled with a terrible scream. Who was it? It was a man's voice, but it wasn't Jack, and she didn't think it was James._

"_Oh, sweetheart," this was a new voice, but still familiar. "If you had only taken your rightful place in Slytherin, we wouldn't be having all this trouble." The blonde woman pointed her wand at somebody behind Marlene's head, and whispered "Crucio."_

_The screams intensified, and Marlene turned around, not wanting to know where they were coming from, but knowing that she needed to understand._

"_Sirius. No!" Marlene sat up, watching him writhing in pain on the floor behind her, blood running from his mouth. She tried to drag herself towards him, but couldn't move from her spot. She was completely powerless, but couldn't tear her eyes away from where he lay, a pool of his own blood expanding around him. She dug her nails into her cheeks and tried not to listen to his screams, but they were growing louder and louder, until it felt like they were inside her own head._

* * *

"Marly. Marly, wake up." Somebody was shaking her. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to leave Sirius alone. He was hurt, and she should be helping him.

"Marlene. You need to open your eyes and stop screaming." That couldn't be right. That was Sirius' voice, but Sirius couldn't speak. He was in too much pain to make words. It must be somebody else.

She tried to concentrate on Sirius' bleeding body, but she couldn't find it. Where had he gone? She could feel tears prickling her eyes. He needed her, but she couldn't find him. Where was he? He had been right there.

"Marly, sit up and open your eyes. Please, baby. You're scaring us."

That was James' voice. James wanted her to sit up and open her eyes. She usually did what James asked her too. He was quite clever. She scrunched up her forehead and opened her eyes, finding herself surrounded by familiar faces. The screaming carried on, though. Why hadn't the screaming stopped? It was too close to her. She frowned, trying to work out how to make it go away. She closed her mouth, and the screams went silent. That was confusing. Had it been her screaming?

Marlene rubbed her eyes and focussed on the people around her. James was next to her, and she touched his hand experimentally, to make sure it was him. He smiled reassuringly. She looked up and saw Alice. Next to Alice was Peter, and on her other side was Sirius. Marlene shook her head quickly. It couldn't be Sirius. She knew where Sirius was, and it wasn't safe on the Hogwarts Express.

"Bad dream?" Sirius asked, kneeling down so she could see him without craning her neck.

"I...," Marlene didn't know what to say. She leant forward and put her arms around Sirius' neck, kissing his cheek. "I suppose so."

Sirius seemed confused, but he put his arms around her and held her for a moment before pulling back and taking his seat across the carriage.

Alice was still standing up. "What the fuck was that?" She didn't look angry, but Marlene couldn't help flinching at her words.

"Hey," James said, wrapping one arm around Marlene. "She just had a bad dream. It's okay now. Sit back down."

Alice stayed still for a few seconds, until Peter pulled her back to her chair and passed her the Newspaper Lily had dropped when she left. Alice glared at James, but picked up the paper and started to read.

"You want to go outside and talk about it?" James asked, looking at Marlene with concern in his eyes.

"No. I'm okay now. It was just a nightmare. I...I didn't realise I was asleep," Marlene whispered. James lowered his own voice to the same volume.

"Has this been happening often?"

"Not until now. I think I was just overtired. We stayed up too late last night, and Lily scared me with that story."

"I think everyone's scared at the moment."

"Yeah. It doesn't matter. I think I just hadn't imagined what it would be like if one of you guys got hurt."

"That's what you were screaming about?"

"It was horrible," Marlene said. She was grateful that James hadn't asked who had been in the dream.

"You know you can talk to me if you get frightened? I love you, Marly. You don't need to deal with it by yourself."

"I know. I love you too."

The door slid open, and Lily and Remus entered the compartment. Remus looked angry, and shoved Peter to get him to move up and make space on the bench. Lily lifted up Marlene's legs and sat down next to her, opening a book.

"What's wrong, Moony?" Peter asked, looking worried.

"Bertram fucking Aubrey."

"I hate that guy," James said. "He knocked me off my broom in the finals last year. If Padfoot hadn't caught me I wouldn't have been able to finish the game. What did he do?"

"He's Head Boy," Remus scowled, fiddling with his prefect badge.

"He what? Why would they make that wanker Head Boy? He's a _Slytherin," _Sirius said.

"My thoughts exactly," Remus said. "I don't know what Dumbledore's playing at. I understand going for interhouse unity, but putting a Slytherin in charge is just idiotic. They're power crazy even when they don't have a badge giving them permission to be."

Lily sighed, and closed her book. She hadn't been reading it anyway. Marlene knew she'd been listening to what the boys were saying.

"We've talked about this, Remus," Lily said. "We all know that Dumbledore is brilliant, and if he thinks that Bertram can be entrusted in this role, we have no right to doubt his decision. Bertram's an almost straight O student, as well as being president of the Charms club and Keeper on the Slytherin Quidditch team. You all get cross with people for judging others based on their bloodline, but it's just as bigoted to assume that somebody is bad just because of their house. I really think you should give him a chance before assuming he's going to do a bad job."

"Well, if he's president of the Charms club, how could we fail to respect him?" Sirius said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Alice giggled and Peter let out a small laugh, but nobody else responded.

Remus had turned red, and was looking down at his hands. James tightened his grip around Marlene and buried his face in her shoulder. She kissed the top of his head and let him lean on her. She knew that if anybody but Lily had called him bigoted he would have wanted to fight back, but she supposed he had decided it wouldn't be worth it with Lily. Lily looked around the carriage, as if challenging somebody else to argue back. When nobody spoke, she looked satisfied and turned back to her book. Marlene caught Alice's eye and Alice grinned. Marlene felt herself relax. Lily and Remus' discussion had calmed her down after her dream, and she found herself looking forward to arriving at Hogwarts.

* * *

Peter shovelled mashed potato into his mouth, hardly taking time to breathe between mouthfuls.

"You are disgusting," Alice said, taking his fork from him to force him to take a break. "The food isn't going to disappear. You don't need to eat it all at once."

"That's not exactly true, Green. It does disappear in the end. We like to get in as much as we can before that happens," Sirius said through his own mouthful of Yorkshire pudding.

"Food doesn't disappear at feasts until the Hall recognizes that everybody has had enough," Lily said, watching Sirius distastefully. "The room is enchanted to cater for whoever's here. You won't go hungry."

"Yeah but there's a difference between having had enough and having eaten as much as you can possibly stuff in without throwing up," Sirius said, reaching for the roast potatoes and piling them onto his already full plate. "Have potatoes, Marly. They're brilliant."

Sirius shoved the bowl of potatoes across the table into Marlene's hands. She was startled by his sudden attention, and didn't take hold of it fast enough. The bowl fell onto the table with a loud crack, and potatoes spilled into the fish pie next to where she was sitting. The people around them went silent, and Marlene felt her cheeks warming up. She didn't know why she suddenly couldn't act normally around Sirius.

James reached into the fish pie and pulled out a potato, frowning at it before putting it into his mouth. He chewed slowly before swallowing. "Interesting. I'm not sure about that. I'd say the potatoes are probably better without the fish. Try one, Pads." He pressed a fishy potato into Sirius' face. Marlene giggled and James grinned at her.

"Hey, Jamie," Samara Brookes had stood up and was standing behind James with her hands on his shoulders. Marlene scowled. Nobody else was allowed to call him Jamie. That had always been the rule.

"Hi Brookes. Good summer?" James said halfheartedly, taking another mouthful of his dinner.

"Oh, it was quite good. I was in Italy. My family has a manor there by the beach, so I spent a lot of time sunbathing topless by the sea. I'm glad to be back, though," Samara said, twisting her arms around James' neck and leaning closer to him.

James moved away from her, looking uncomfortable. "Yeah, it's good to be back at Hogwarts. So, erm, did you want something?"

Alice caught Marlene's eye and raised one eyebrow. Marlene snorted, and Samara looked at her disapprovingly before giving a tinkling laugh and smoothing James' hair. "I was just wondering if you had any plans for tonight. I've got certain needs that I think you could fulfill. You could meet me at nine in the Charms corridor?"

She leant closer to James again and whispered something in his ear. He jumped and dropped his fork on the floor. Samara bent down to pick it up, letting her skirt ride up slightly, exposing her bare, long tanned legs.

"I'll see you later then?" Samara said, passing the fork back to James and licking her lips. Alice was in silent hysterics, and Sirius kept flicking peas at her, trying to make her be quiet.

"I don't think so," Sirius said. "James has plans with us guys. First night of the year is Marauder time."

"Oh," Samara said, looking at James to see if he was going to refute this. When he didn't say anything, she gave a tiny shrug. "Well, perhaps another time. I'll see you around, Jamie."

Marlene watched Samara sashay back to her seat further down the table, where she immediately leant into Mary McDonald and began some intense conversation involving elaborate hand gestures.

"That was strange," James said, ruffling his hair to undo Samara's work.

"Why?" Alice said. "She's always like that. I'm surprised she hasn't tried it on sooner than this."

"I know what she's like. She's Sirius' property, though. If I want sex I go to McDonald."

"Excuse me? She's Sirius' _property_?" Lily said, putting down her knife and fork and glaring at James.

James gulped. "I didn't mean that. It was just the first word that came to mind."

"So you think girls are something that belong to you? You think their only purpose is to be there for if you want sex?" Lily's speech was getting faster, and Alice noticeably shuffled away from her and closer to Marlene. They both knew better than to try talking to Lily when she was angry.

"He wasn't trying to say that, Lil," Sirius said. "He just meant Brookes usually tries that on with me. I must have gone out of favour."

"It'll be because you left home," Alice said. Sirius raised his eyebrows, so she expanded her point. "Samara's interested in guys that are rich, handsome and mysterious, and she wants them in that order. She chose you over James because you've got the mystery going for you. You're the dark handsome stranger who doesn't get too close to people. James has always been completely transparent and she doesn't want that, but the money's more important. Now that you've not got a knut to your name she'd rather have him."

"That's not fair. I brought my Hippogriff Bank with me when I left. I have exactly seven sickles and five knuts to my name. I don't like this, though. Does this mean it'll be harder for me to get girls this year?"

"I shouldn't think so," Alice said. "You might lose a few who would have been interested, but you'll get a load of girls who think that you need them to look after you and help you through this difficult time, and people will think you're a bit of a bad boy for being kicked out. That's always attractive."

"Interesting. I reckon I'll play up the miserable rebel then. Nice to chat, Green. You make some good points."

"Any time," Alice said, going back to her meal.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," Marlene said, putting down her cutlery and standing up.

"But you've not had pudding," James said, looking shocked.

"I'm full up anyway, and I want to unpack before bed."

"I'll walk with you," Lily said. "Discussing Sirius' love life has put me off my dinner."

"Sorry, Evans," Sirius said. Lily rolled her eyes and stood up, linking arms with Marlene to leave the Hall.

"You okay, Mar? You were quiet in there," Lily said.

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

"I think we should maybe have gone to bed a bit earlier last night. Alice said you fell asleep and had a nightmare on the train?"

"It was nothing. I've already forgotten it."

"Fair enough. We can get an early night tonight."

"That's the plan."

The common room was empty when they entered it, and Marlene smiled at the familiar surroundings. Although the day had been warm, a fire had been lit in the hearth, and it gave the room a comforting glow. She followed Lily up the steps to their dorm, and sat down on the bed her trunk had been placed next to. She always took the bed next to the window. In first year she had wanted it so she could send James owls in the night without waking the others up. She had got used to watching the stars as she tried to fall asleep, and the other girls had got used to letting her take that bed. Lily was next to her, with Alice on her other side.

Marlene opened her trunk and started to pull out different sets of robes to hang in the wardrobe. They had three wardrobes between the five of them. Mary and Samara insisted on taking a wardrobe each, which would be very unfair if Alice didn't refuse ever to unpack her trunk. Alice's clothes ended up strewn across the floor or buried in her trunk, and Lily and Marlene shared the other wardrobe between the two of them. With Lily's talent using an undetectable extension charm, the situation suited them both. Marlene had packed her robes already on hangers, and hung each set up in the wardrobe as soon as she had taken them out, warming them with her wand to take out any creases. Lily joined her, adding her own clothes to the cupboard.

"Marly, do you ever get scared?" Lily asked, summoning her shoes and putting them carefully on one of the shelves inside the cupboard, lining them up in order of colour.

"Scared of what?"

"The war."

"Of course I do. I think everybody does."

"You always seem to have everything held together. I feel like every story I hear makes me fall further apart."

"You're not falling apart, Lil. Your life's more together than anybody I know," Marlene said, folding up her muggle clothes and putting them into a drawer.

"It's not. You and Alice are both pureblood. You know you're going to be okay in the end, and you've got family that can look out for you. I don't have that. People hate me just for the family I was born into, and I don't stand a chance against them."

"Don't say that. You're a brilliant witch. It's true that you're in danger because of your family, but the rest of us are too. The Potters are one of the biggest blood traitor families that exist, and Sirius' blood won't help him now that he's run away. Alice and I are safe for now, but when it comes down to it my parents aren't going to fight with You Know Who and neither will Alice's Mum, so we won't be safe. Peter's halfblood and his Dad loves muggles so he probably isn't any better off than you. The only one of us who might not be a target is Remus, but he's only halfblood, and he'll be in trouble because of his association with the rest of us anyway."

"That doesn't really make me feel better, Marly. You've basically said that I'm right to think that I'm not safe, and added that none of my friends are safe either."

"Well, it's kind of true. I'm not sure anybody's safe, but you know that we're all in this together. We'd all fight to protect each other, and I think that's the most anybody can have."

"I'm just really frightened," Lily said, dropping the top she was folding and looking at Marlene. "What if we don't all make it out alive?"

Marlene sighed. "I don't know. I don't think we can be sure we'll make it out, but we must stand as good a chance as anybody else."

"I hate that we have to think like this. This isn't what I want from life. I want to fall in love and have children and grow old with someone, you know? I want to be old and wrinkly and hold hands with my old and wrinkly husband and watch our children playing with our grandchildren in the back yard."

"I know. You probably stand a better chance than the rest of us of getting there. You know James would die before he watched you get hurt."

"That's not true," Lily said, laughing shakily.

"Believe what you want, Evans, but I know him a lot better than you do. I will bring you together, and then you'll thank me for it at your wedding."

"Shut up."

"I'll shut up if you promise me I can be Maid of Honour when you two get married."

"Marly, you're being ridiculous."

"Promise meeee," Marlene whined, leaning into Lily's ear and giggling.

"Okay, fine. If I marry Potter you can be Maid of Honour."

"Yes! Thanks, Lil. I can't wait to tell Alice. She's going to be so upset."

"I said _if_!"

* * *

**A/N: I know this is a bit of a filler chapter but I enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I'd appreciate it very much if you could leave me a little tiny review to tell me what you think x**


	11. Changes

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize**

**September, 1976**

Professor McGonagall was moving down the table, handing people timetables and arguing with the sixth years about which subjects they could take. Marlene sat watching her, holding a half eaten piece of toast.

"What if she says I'm not good enough to take Defence?" Alice said, chewing her lip. "I wasn't worried about it in the summer, but I really don't want to have to drop it. There's nothing else I want to do and it's such an important subject."

"Your Mum wrote to the school. It'll probably be fine," Lily said, tucking into her bowl of muesli and looking unfazed. "They'd be idiots if they refused to teach you to defend yourself."

"It's alright for you. You could take any subject you wanted to."

"Stop making a fuss. There's nothing you can do about it now. Just see what McGonagall says when she reaches you." Marlene piled eggs onto Alice's plate and passed her two pieces of toast. Alice looked sulky but started to eat.

"Hi, Minnie. May I just say you're looking especially lovely today," James said, lounging back in his chair to smile at Professor McGonagall, who had arrived to talk to him about his timetable. "I hope you didn't put in extra effort for us. You know we think you look beautiful anyway."

"Detention, Potter. Tomorrow night in my office at 8."

"Don't worry Prongs. She just wants to spend more time with you," Sirius said, leaning across the table to pat James on the head.

"Oh, I know," James said with a wink.

"You can join him, Mr Black. That said, I was impressed by both of your results. You can both continue with the subjects you wanted to. I noticed they were all the required courses for auror training?"

"Yup," James said, looking proud. "We want to work with Mum and Dad."

"Well, I'm sure the department would make good use of your talents. Just be aware that to stand a chance of getting in you need to continue to get exceptional grades," McGonagall said crisply, tapping two timetables with her wands and passing them to James and Sirius. They nodded at her and she moved on to Remus, immediately clearing him to take the NEWTs he wanted to.

"This year is brilliant already. Look Prongs, we have a free straight away, and then two after lunch," Sirius said with a dreamy smile, pointing at James' timetable. "We can start planning a welcome back prank straight away, and fill Moony and Wormtail in tonight."

"Miss Green," Professor McGonagall had moved on from a slight delay with Peter and was now passing a timetable to Alice. "I received your Mother's letter. Professor Dearborn, the new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, agrees that his subject should be open to anybody who feels that they need it. He has agreed to teach you even though your grade was lower than would usually be required."

Alice gave a little whoop, but was silenced by a look from Professor McGonagall.

"However, he will be monitoring your work carefully, and would like you to attend some private classes during free periods to ensure that you're coping with the workload. The first of these sessions will take place first period today. There were no problems with the rest of your subject choices."

"Okay. Thanks, Professor," Alice said, taking her timetable and examining it.

"Miss McKinnon. Are you also considering a career as an auror? Your subject choices indicate that you are."

"I'm not sure," Marlene said, putting down her toast to speak. "They're just the subjects I'm interested in. I don't know what I want to do yet."

"Well, don't hesitate to come and see me if you ever need any career advice," McGonagall said, passing her a timetable that matched James' and Sirius'.

Lily's timetable was given to her without discussion. Her results made anything she wanted to do a possibility, and she had chosen to take the same courses as Marlene, with the addition of Arithmancy. The girls turned to each other to compare timetables. Alice was taking one less subject than Marlene, but with her extra Defence classes she had a similiar number of free periods, of which they shared quite a few. Lily was taking an extra subject so her time with them outside class would be limited.

"I'm never going to see you guys. Don't forget about me," Lily said, as Alice started to get excited about what they could use all the free time for.

"It would be pretty difficult to forget about you, Lil. We do live with you," Alice said, rolling her eyes.

Lily laughed halfheartedly, before pointing at the ceiling. "Post's here."

A tawny owl landed in front of Lily, knocking over her orange juice. She sighed and put a knut in the pouch on his leg, taking the newspaper he had been carrying and opening it onto the table.

"I wish you hadn't decided to get that every day," Alice said. "It's just going to make us miserable every morning. We're young. We should be having fun."

Lily ignored her and turned over a page. Alice snorted and poured herself a cup of coffee. Marlene held out her own cup and Alice filled it.

"Isn't that your owl?" Alice said, nodding her head towards where the boys were sitting. Marlene looked over at them and smiled. Her owl, Jadis, was perched at the edge of the table in front of James. James was stroking her head and trying to feed her bacon. Jadis was looking distastefully at the fork in front of her face, shrinking back when James moved it closer to her.

"Oi, James. That's not your owl," Marlene said. James looked up and smiled at her.

"But she's so much more well behaved than mine."

"You can't blame anybody but yourself for that."

"She's got a point, Prongs," Sirius said. "You tried to teach your owl to play Quidditch and used real bludgers. I reckon you could have predicted him not much wanting to deliver your letters anymore after that."

James shrugged and tried to offer Jadis a grape instead. "I think he was just a bad egg. Here's your letter, Marly. It looks like it's from your Mum."

"What's she writing to me for? That's never a good sign."

"It'll just be about your results. You've not got anything to worry about. Open it, there might be something from Jack in there as well."

Marlene slid her finger under the lid of the envelope, trying to open it without tearing the heavy parchment. She slid out the letter inside and spread it out in front of her.

_Darling,_

_Your Father and I were so pleased to receive your results. We had been worried that you didn't have your brother's focus but you proved us wrong and it was such a relief._

_Do be careful not to let your grades slip. If you want to be successful in the Ministry when you leave school you'll need to have an exceptional record. It's easy to become complacent once you've done well. A good place to start would be to work on improving your Defence Against the Dark Arts and Herbology grades. I don't mean to undermine your achievement, darling, but it was such a wonderful experience for Jack when he was awarded all Outstanding NEWTs. Your Father and I both think it would be a good thing for you to work for as well. Perhaps speak to your Professors to see if there is any extra help they can give you to help you achieve this aim?_

_We also wanted to discuss your future after Hogwarts. You know that since you were young we've had an arrangement with the Blacks regarding your marriage. Our reasons for arranging your marriage into their family were founded in our belief that it would be beneficial to both families. Orion has since contacted me to inform me that his son's leaving home has led to him being officially disowned from the family. Sirius' name has been burnt off the family tree._

_While we do not agree with everything the Blacks believe in, Orion is a reasonable man, and he understands that your marriage would no longer be useful to our family in the way that we had hoped. We have therefore agreed that in the circumstances, it would be appropriate to put an end to the arrangement._

_You will be pleased to hear that this does not mean your marriage cannot help us. Your Father works in the same Department as Marco Rosier at the Ministry, and they have been conversing about the possibility of creating a union between our families. I know that you haven't had much communication with Evan Rosier, but I believe that he's in your year at school. Perhaps you could get to know him? I know that changing our plans will be difficult for you to come to terms with, but this seems an ideal solution. We have agreed that an arranged marriage between the two of you on leaving school will suffice to protect our family and to maintain their pureblood heritage._

_Jack sends his love. He has so far been enjoying his auror training. Your Father has hopes that he might soon transfer into an office job. He says that's not what he wants but he's very young and we think he might realise he could achieve more than this. _

_Send our love to James, and pass on our congratulations for what his Mother informs us were very impressive results._

_Lots of love,_

_Mother_

Marlene stared at the letter, rereading it twice before scrunching it up tightly in her hand. Her eyes were hot with tears and she thought she might be sick. She had been stupid not to think about what Sirius leaving home would mean for her, but she hadn't expected this. Evan Rosier was cruel. His Father had almost certainly joined the death eaters, and he made it no secret that he intended to do the same when he left school. She was horrified that her parents wanted her to marry him, but she knew from experience that arguing with them was pointless.

"Everything okay, Marly? Breakfast's over. Lily and Alice went to class. They waved but you didn't see them. We have a free now. What do you want to do?" Sirius had looked up from his breakfast to watch her.

She watched him cock his head, waiting for her to tell him that everything was fine and suggest that they do something relaxing, and felt anger boil up inside her. He had no right even to speak to her right now. This was all his fault.

"Marly?" Sirius looked confused. "You okay? What was in the letter?"

She didn't think before lifting her hand and slapping it hard across his face. He looked startled and opened his mouth, but she didn't wait for him to respond before swinging her bag over her shoulder and leaving the Hall. She waited until she was in the Entrance Hall before letting the tears fall down her face. Somebody reached out to grab her arm but she shook them off and started to run up the stairs, not stopping until she reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Well, really. Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Free Period. The password's Gillyweed," Marlene panted.

The portrait swung open and she climbed through, collapsing on a sofa by the fire. She curled up and wrapped her arms around her legs, letting her tears run across her knees. She was out of breath from running, and finding it hard to breathe through her sobs. She rocked as she cried, not bothering to wipe the mascara trails from her cheeks.

"Baby? What happened?"

Marlene pressed her hands against her eyes tightly before turning round to see James and Sirius by the portrait hole. Sirius' cheek was scarlet from where she had hit him but he looked concerned rather than angry. He stepped towards her, but James pushed him gently out of the way and gathered her up in his arms, sitting down on the sofa and pulling her into him. She dissolved into a new stream of tears and burrowed her head into his chest.

"You need to tell me what happened, Marly. You're scaring me. Has something happened at home? Is everyone okay?" James spoke softly, kissing the top of her head between words.

"It's all _his _fault," Marlene said, shaking in his arms.

"Who?"

"Black," Marlene choked out the word, looking up at Sirius as she spoke.

James turned to glare at his friend. "What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, mate. I swear I did nothing." Sirius raised his arms as he spoke.

"This doesn't really look like nothing," James said, letting go of Marlene and pulling out his wand. "Did you sleep with her or something? What did you do to her?"

"I really don't know what's wrong with her. Prongs, I promise I didn't touch her."

James stared at Sirius for a long time, and Sirius relaxed under his gaze. Eventually James lowered his wand and turned back to Marlene.

"Marly, can you please just tell me what's wrong?"

Marlene shook her head and sobbed harder. She couldn't get words out through her tears, and Sirius being in the room had made it worse. He had no right to see her like this. She lifted her hand, with her Mother's letter still screwed up in her fist, and dropped it into James' palm. He skimmed over the letter and then put his arm back around her.

"Baby I'm sorry about your parents, I am, but this isn't Padfoot's fault."

Marlene drew away from him and frowned. James reached out to hold her hand but she pulled it back.

"Don't be like this. I'm just telling you the truth. It's true they're making you marry Rosier because Sirius left home, but he had no choice. If you want to blame somebody, blame his family."

"You have to marry Rosier?" Sirius said, coming closer to where Marlene and James were sat. "I'm sorry, Marlene."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to have not done this to me."

"I wasn't trying to do anything to you. I needed to get out."

"You're a bastard. You were only thinking about yourself. It didn't even occur to you to think about what would happen to me if you left." Marlene stood up as she spoke, facing Sirius and glaring up at him.

"They were going to KILL ME. I apologize for not thinking about your love life when I was trying to apparate without a license to avoid the third hour of torture."

"You shouldn't have made them so angry in the first place. They wouldn't have hurt you if you'd stayed calm and dealt with it like a normal person. You've ruined _everything_."

"Are you serious? Do you even listen to yourself? Stop _whining _about _every fucking thing _that happens in your perfect life. What the hell do you want from me, Marlene?"

"Don't you dare say my life is perfect. You have _no idea _what it's like to be me."

"I'm sure it's a horrible struggle to get out of bed every day being you. I mean you have to cope with being beautiful, and having a family that wants to keep you safe, and maintaining your good grades, and all those irritating people who want to be friends with you because they have some delusion that you're actually a nice person. I just don't know how you do it."

"SHUT UP. You have no right to talk to me like that. Don't act like you know me."

"My mistake. I thought I did know you, you see. I thought we were friends."

"Well, we're not, and you just ruined my life so I don't think we ever will be."

"I'm sure that'll be a great loss."

"Fuck you."

"You can if you want to." Sirius raised one eyebrow, his tone lighter than it had been. Marlene gave a small scream of frustration.

"Why do you think everything is a joke? You _always _do this. Some things need to be taken seriously."

"I am Sirius."

"Oh for fucks sake."

"Stop swearing. You're being ridiculous. Are we really having a fight about your wedding plans?"

"It's _important_, Sirius. If Rosier's not a death eater already he definitely will be after Hogwarts. This isn't what I want from life."

"Don't marry him, then. You always do this. You make a big fuss about things but you don't actually _do _anything to resolve the problem. If you don't want this marriage you can refuse to go through with it. They can't force you to walk down the aisle. Stop acting like everything's beyond your control. You can't always rely on James to help you out. It's your life. Take charge of it."

"It's not that easy. We can't all be like you. I can't just turn my back on what my family wants and not bother thinking about how it would affect everybody else. They need me to do this to keep them safe."

"You're implying that I don't care if my actions put other people in danger?"

"Well you don't. You left your brother in that house even though he was obviously scared. You claim to care about him but you saved your own neck at his expense. I could never do that. Don't give me that crap about having no choice. You knew what you were doing when you provoked your Father, and if you hadn't done it he'd still have his big brother around, and I wouldn't be in this position."

"That's enough, Marly," James said, stepping between Marlene and Sirius. "You've taken it too far."

Marlene looked at James. He didn't look angry but he didn't seem sympathetic anymore. Behind him, Sirius looked furious. Looking at him, she was glad James had stepped between them. She had never known Sirius to be violent but the look in his eyes was frightening.

"Seriously? You're taking his side?" Marlene glared at James.

"I'm not taking sides, but you shouldn't be saying this stuff. I know you're upset, Marly, but you don't mean all of that. Your family has its own issues, and he shouldn't have said you don't have problems, but anything that you're going through can't even compare to what his parents did to him. I cannot believe you'd try to tell him he shouldn't have left home. You saw him that night and I'm really surprised that you're willing to use it against him. I wouldn't have thought you'd do that."

Marlene stared at James for a long time, waiting for him to apologize and take it back, but he held his ground and didn't say anything. Sirius was taking deep breaths, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. James reached a hand out and placed it on his arm, and he visibly relaxed.

"Fine, then. You can both go and fuck yourselves," Marlene said coldly. She wiped the tears from her eyes, staining her knuckles with mascara, and turned away. She picked up her bag from where she'd thrown it next to the sofa, and walked slowly up the stairs to her dormitory. She expected one of them to call her back, but the shout never came. At the top of the stairs, she turned around. Sirius was holding tightly onto the sofa, his shoulders shaking. James had his arm around his friend and was whispering something to him.

She choked back a sob and opened the door to her dormitory. It was nearly the end of her free period, but she crawled under her duvet and lay face down, hugging her pillow.

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**A/N: What I would really really like would be to get lots and lots of reviews telling me what you think, and then I'll probably update quickly for you. Lots of love xx**


	12. Silence

**Disclaimer: It's not mine**

**Chapter Eleven, September 1976**

It had been three days. Marlene moved silently around the castle, staring at people with glazed eyes and clenched fists. She hadn't spoken to James and Sirius once. It was the longest she had ever gone without speaking to James, and if she thought about it too much she couldn't stop the tears. It was better just not to think about it all. Lily walked everywhere with her, holding onto her arm tightly as if she was at risk of falling over. Alice had been avoiding them. Peter had told her what Marlene had said to Sirius. Alice had said she was despicable for using his family against him. Marlene didn't know if Alice was angry with her or simply disapproving, but she hadn't stayed to find out. She went through the motions of everyday life but felt completely detached.

"Come on, Mar. Eat some breakfast. We have Charms first thing and you know it's harder to work on an empty stomach," Lily buttered a piece of toast and put it on Marlene's plate, smiling a bright, false smile.

Marlene picked up the piece of toast and started to tear bits of crust away from it, dropping them back onto the plate from her limp fingers. The grease of the butter spread between her fingers. She felt sick, and put the toast back on her plate, glaring at it.

Lily sighed and poured herself some orange juice, filling Marlene's glass as well. Deep down, Marlene knew she felt bad for the way she was treating Lily. Lily hadn't done anything wrong, and was being lovely to her despite receiving no kindness in return. Marlene opened her mouth to say something but the words didn't come, so she closed it again.

"Mar we have to go in a sec. I really think you should eat something. I've hardly seen you eat in the last few days." Lily watched her hopefully, but Marlene didn't look up from her plate. "Okay. Look, I'll bring some toast with me to class, and if you get hungry you can have it, yeah?"

Lily's words seemed to echo in the silence. Marlene frowned and focussed on bending her fingers into different shapes. She watched as Lily took a few pieces of toast and some fruit, wrapping them carefully in tissue paper and putting them into her bag. It was a mark of how worried Lily was that she was willing to put buttery bread so close to her schoolwork.

"Let's go to Charms. Are you going to manage it? You know we share this one with the Slytherins...Look, if you're not going to tell me how you feel I'm not going to know. Marlene? Never mind. We should get to class. I don't want to be late."

Lily fumbled with the strap on her bag for a moment before standing up. She brushed crumbs from her skirt and straightened her school robes. Marlene moved slowly, swinging her bare legs over the bench and forcing herself to stand up. Lily took her arm and walked with her. They left the Great Hall and found themselves walking just behind James and Peter. Marlene's eyes widened in panic. Lily noticed and stopped walking, holding her still. James turned when he realised the footsteps behind him had silenced. He was smiling as he turned around, but the smile disappeared when he looked at Marlene. He looked away and said something to Sirius.

"Don't worry, Marly. It won't stay like this. They can't do this forever. James loves you," Lily said, turning them both down another corridor to take a slightly longer route to Charms which would take them further away from the boys. "I tried to talk to him, you know. I told James what he's doing to you and I asked him to apologize."

Marlene looked up from the floor to watch Lily speak, interested to hear what James had said.

"He's infuriating. I was trying to speak to him about you. I wanted to tell him I was worried, and he kept twisting the conversation back to asking me on a date. I held out for a while but it's impossible to hold a proper conversation with him. I don't know how you do it. I sometimes think he's worse than Sirius."

They turned a corner into the Charms corridor. Marlene felt worry pressing down on her stomach, and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. This class contained every person she was trying not to see.

"Oh, Merlin, I've not brought my textbook," Lily was rummaging in her bag as they approached the door to the classroom. She stopped walking and Marlene stood next to her, waiting for her to look through her bag. "It's not here. I'm going to have to go back. I think we have a few minutes so I might make it if I run. Sorry, Marly. I'll be here for class, I promise, but I'll get in trouble if I don't have my books, and a detention this early in the year would ruin my chances of making Head Girl."

Lily zipped up her bag and sprinted back in the direction they had come from. Marlene watched her run, and leant back against the wall behind her. She didn't want to go into the classroom without Lily. They would all be staring at her. She was shaking, and felt physically ill with panic. She closed her eyes and tried to take slow breaths, tilting her head against the cold stone behind her.

"McKinnon. I've been hoping to talk to you."

Marlene opened her eyes at the unfamiliar voice. Rosier was leaning against the wall opposite her. He had scraped his hair back from his forehead and secured it with too much gel, making his eyebrows look excessively prominent on his forehead. She supposed he could be considered good looking, with his high, sharp cheekbones and chiseled jaw, but his face was permanently arranged into an arrogant sneer, and she thought he looked cruel. She looked away from him and stared at the floor.

"Don't look away from me. You're going to be my wife. You need to learn to pay me attention."

Rosier stepped towards her. Marlene watched his brown leather shoes move closer to her. His robes were a perfect fit, just skimming the floor, but his feet were visible as he took steps. He stopped directly in front of her. There could only be an inch between his feet and hers. She tried to focus on the gap between them rather than their closeness.

"Look at me." He lifted his hand and grabbed her chin, tilting her face and forcing her to stare into his eyes. He was quite a bit taller than her and she had to bend her neck to an uncomfortable angle to see him. "I am unhappy with this arrangement, but my family understands status and respect, and if they think this is a desirable match I won't try to refute them. That said, I will not tolerate you behaving in a way that reflects badly on me. A wife treats her husband with respect. She is quiet and dresses appropriately and supports him with his aims. I will expect you to learn to do this."

Marlene squirmed and moved her face out of Rosier's hand. She wished she'd gone back to the common room with Lily to find her books. She tried to sidestep along the wall towards the classroom but Rosier casually placed his arm between her and the door. He put his other hand behind her neck, entwining his fingers in her hair. She stayed still.

"You seem not to be taking this seriously. In the current state of the country, you're very lucky to have this arrangement with me. My Father is one of the Dark Lord's most trusted friends, and when we graduate I will be the same. You'll marry into our family and will be respected in the new world. If you play your part, and don't cause me any trouble, I think we can get along just fine. I imagine I could even have some fun with you. I can't deny that you're very beautiful. I'm sure we can learn to enjoy each other."

He leaned more closely into her, tightening his grip on her hair and dropping his other arm to her waist. She pressed her hands against his chest, trying to push him back, but he seemed to take her touch as a sign of enthusiasm, and pulled her head towards him. She wanted to tell him to stop but couldn't find her voice. Three days of silence had made her unable to defend herself. She bit her lip and glared at Rosier as he bent his head down to hers.

"Oi!"

Rosier stepped back from Marlene to scowl at Remus, who had arrived in the corridor beside them. He looked tired, and was dragging his bag along the floor next to him.

"Marly, we need to go to Charms. We're late," Remus said, lifting his bag onto his shoulder and linking his arm through Marlene's. He didn't acknowledge Rosier as they walked to the classroom but he seemed tense. Marlene wondered how much he had heard but she didn't want to ask.

Remus swung open the door to the classroom and pulled her in. Professor Flitwick was standing at the front of the room. He looked like he'd been speaking, but nobody was writing anything down and Lily hadn't arrived yet so they couldn't be too late.

"Sorry, Professor," Remus said, striding towards Flitwick. "I was in the hospital wing. I have a note. I've been exhausted after my illness and Marlene came to help me get here and carry my bag because I'm still not feeling great."

"That's quite alright, Mr Lupin. I had been told to expect your absence from class today. Five points to Gryffindor Miss McKinnon. I'm impressed by your loyalty to your friends," Professor Flitwick squeaked, gesturing to the empty desk in front of him. Remus took a seat and Marlene sat down next to him, trying to ignore Sirius' sarcastic coughs.

Marlene pulled out some parchment and a quill, and propped up her face on her hands to listen to Flitwick introducing the lesson. She found herself unable to make sense of the words he was speaking, and started to draw small circles on her parchment instead of taking notes. Next to her, Remus was scribbling furiously without moving his eyes away from the Professor. She inked in the centre of one of the circles and started to extend it, dragging small lines away from the back and slowly transforming it into an eye. She found the sketching satisfying. It was something she could concentrate on without any difficulty, but was enough to distract her from distressing thoughts.

She looked up when she heard the sound of ripping paper. Remus had torn off the edge of his parchment. He folded it in half and slid it across the table, leaving it in front of her. She unfolded it and looked down at his slanted handwriting.

_Everything okay?_

Marlene sighed. She had always known Remus least of the three Marauders. She had grown up with James, and the intensity of James and Sirius' friendship had meant that she had little choice but to befriend Sirius as well. Alice was very close to Peter, and had made sure that her friends appreciated his kindness. Marlene had never really had reason to get to know Remus. She knew that he was sweet. He looked after his friends, and was probably the most patient person she had ever known, but the two of them rarely spent time together without any of their mutual friends. She didn't want to speak to him about what he had seen, but she was grateful that he had interrupted the encounter with Rosier, and she knew that ignoring the note would be rudel.

_Yup. _

She pushed the note back to Remus, who frowned and started scribbling underneath her single word.

_That didn't look like it was okay. I'm worried about you._

Marlene was touched by Remus' concern but felt frustrated. She hadn't spoken to anybody about everything that had happened. The others had heard everything from James and Sirius, and with the exception of Lily, had taken their side.

_Aren't you supposed to be ignoring me?_

She watched Remus shake his head as he read the note.

_Probably. They're not happy with you but they're being complete hypocrites if they think the rest of us should stop being your friends because of it. Sirius has done much worse and we've all forgiven him. I'm not going to force you to talk but I'm really worried. _

The parchment was nearly full of their tiny writing, so Marlene turned it over.

_I'm fine._

Remus wasn't even pretending to be concentrating on the lesson anymore.

_Well, if you're ever not fine, I'm here if you need to talk about it. They'll come round eventually, and until they do I'll keep an eye on Rosier for you._

Marlene read the note and gave Remus a small smile before scrunching up the parchment in her hand. She didn't look at him for the rest of the lesson, but he squeezed her hand as the bell rang, and she felt reassured that at least one of the Marauders wasn't furious with her. Lily caught up with her as they left the room.

"I'm sorry I was so late. You'll never guess what happened to me," Lily said with a huge smile. "I was running back to class and crashed straight into Bertram Aubrey. It was completely humiliating but he was really sweet about it and picked up all my books for me. He walked me to class, and when we got here he kissed my forehead and said it had been a pleasure to walk with such a pretty girl."

Lily looked excited, waiting for Marlene to respond. Marlene wanted to smile with her and tell her she was pleased, but as she went to open her mouth, the memory of Rosier's harsh instructions came back to her, and she felt her eyes fill with tears. Lily's smile vanished from her face.

"Oh, Marly, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be rambling about Bertram Aubrey. I know that's the last thing you need to be thinking about. You're having a horrible time and this is the first time in your life you've not had James with you to help you through your problems. I shouldn't be telling you about my stupid crush. Come on, I'll get you a hot chocolate from the kitchens. We'll get through this, I promise."

Lily took Marlene's hand and held her tightly. Tears were forming streaks down Marlene's cheeks, and she was sure that her carefully applied make up would have been destroyed. She didn't know why she was such a mess. Everything felt out of her control and she didn't know how she was ever going to feel better. She knew that she had messed up with Sirius, but the idea of marrying Rosier terrified her, and she had needed to take it out on somebody. She just wanted things back the way they used to be.

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**A/N: Reviews are always appreciated. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Let me know what you think of Rosier and whether you'd like to see more of him x**


	13. Empty

**Disclaimer: This isn't mine**

**Chapter Twelve, September 1976**

Marlene woke up already feeling tired. Lily had forced her to drink two steaming mugs of hot chocolate in the kitchens before dragging her to bed. She had been tucked in under her duvet without showering and had fallen asleep almost instantly, but she still felt exhausted. She could hear Lily's gentle snores from the bed next to her. Alice was also still asleep, but Mary and Samara's beds were empty. They were probably already at downstairs eating grapefruit and pretending it was enough to keep them going for the day. They always woke up long before the other girls, spending ages in the bathroom doing their make up and going to breakfast early. Marlene stretched out her arms above her head before sitting up. She felt dizzy and shook herself, trying to wake herself up as she wandered into the bathroom.

She turned the shower onto full power, quickly washing her hair and then standing still under the scorching water until it was unbearable and she was forced to get out. Her hair was damp around her shoulders and she shivered as she wrapped a towel around her chest. The tiled bathroom floor was cold under her feet so she slipped on Lily's fluffy slippers. She looked at herself in the silver mirror above the wash basin and sighed. Her hair was knotted into straggly tails, and her cheeks were black from the eye make up she hadn't washed off the night before. She picked a comb up from the edge of the basin and started to tug it through the knots in her wet hair. The comb was painful but somewhat satisfying. She battled with the tangles until her hair looked passable, and then dragged a wet finger under her eyes, scraping off the smudged make up. She dried her hair with her wand, allowing it to fall in soft waves down her back, and went back to examining her reflection. Her features looked too angular. Her cheekbones and jaw jutted out from the rest of her face. She tried to remember the last time she had eaten anything. Perhaps her Mother was right to say she was too thin. She gave a small shrug and applied her usual coat of red lipstick, leaving the rest of her face bare and pulling the towel more tightly around her as she left the bathroom.

Alice was sitting up in her bed when Marlene returned to the room. She caught her eye briefly but Alice looked away. Marlene tried to suppress the disappointment she felt at Alice's expression. She rummaged in her wardrobe and pulled out a clean set of school robes, dressing quickly behind the wardrobe door. Lily was still asleep. Marlene knew that if it was the other way round Lily would wait for her before going to breakfast, but she needed to get away from Alice, and thought she didn't feel like eating anyway. She slipped on a pair of low black heels and left the dormitory, deciding that she should write to Jack.

The Owlery was one of Marlene's favorite places in the castle. Lily and Alice both hated it. Lily had never quite adjusted to the idea of owls as pets. In first year she had been terrified of the morning post, and although she had since calmed down and was happy to borrow her friends' owls, she didn't understand why anyone would choose to be surrounded by the birds. Alice was just scared she'd get owl poo in her hair. In some ways, Marlene enjoyed the fact that her best friends wouldn't accompany her there. James was the only person who would come with her. They had spent many evenings sitting on the feather coated floor and talking, but usually she went to be alone. She went to the Owlery when she wanted peace, and she almost always found it. It was a long walk from Gryffindor tower, but she enjoyed the silence of the castle, and when she arrived she sat down in the windowsill to catch her breath.

It was cold next to the open window. Marlene shivered and crossed her arms over her robes. She wished she'd put a jumper on under her robes but she didn't want to go back to Gryffindor tower. She had only been in the Owlery for a few minutes and already felt more relaxed than she had since reading her Mother's letter. She leant back against the cool stone and looked out the window. She could see Hagrid in the distance, beckoning to some creature that was either invisible or too small for her to see from the tower. The grounds were beautiful, bathed in the morning light. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, enjoying the fresh air and listening to the occasional coos of the owls.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise."

Marlene felt a chill run up her spine. She opened her eyes, hoping that she'd be wrong about the owner of the voice, but knowing who had entered the Owlery.

"How...how did you find me?" It was the first thing she had said for days. She hadn't wanted to speak, and definitely hadn't wanted her first words to be to Rosier, but she was scared. He had turned up the first time she had been by herself since their encounter the previous day, and she didn't feel safe.

"There's no need to sound so frightened, McKinnon. Have you never heard of coincidence?" Rosier stepped closer towards her. His smirk was almost a smile but it didn't soften his harsh expression.

"Are you following me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I didn't know you'd be here, but I can't deny that I'm excited to find you."

"Why are you here? You don't have a letter to send, and if you're expecting post you should be at breakfast."

"Stop asking so many questions," Rosier said, coming closer again and leering at her. "You should have no reason to speak at all when you're with me."

Marlene stood up, feeling unsafe sitting in the open window. She put her hand into her pocket, clenching her wand. She wasn't sure she'd be able to get it out without him noticing, but it felt reassuring to remind herself it was there.

"Don't look so unhappy to see me." Rosier reached out to touch her cheek, but froze as footsteps sounded from outside. He frowned and drew back his hand. "This isn't over. There won't always be someone to interrupt us."

Marlene relaxed as he turned and swept out of the room. She had been stupid to go somewhere so secluded by herself. She listened as the footsteps came closer, looking up to see who else had decided to come to the Owlery so early in the day, but regretting her decision to stay when Sirius Black came through the door.

She stared at Sirius for a few moments. He didn't look surprised to see her but didn't seem to know what to do. He was holding a piece of parchment out in front of him as if it were a map. He noticed her looking at it and folded it into four, staring intensely at it instead of looking at her. Marlene waited to see if he spoke to her. She knew he was still angry and didn't know if he'd want her to talk. She carried on watching him until he looked back at her. Their eyes met for a second and he looked like he was about to say something, but then shook his head and turned to leave the room.

"Are you not going to send your letter?" Marlene called out to his retreating back.

Sirius stopped and turned back to her, looking confused.

"Your letter. You didn't post it," Marlene said, gesturing to the parchment still folded in his hands.

"Oh," Sirius said, turning the parchment over between his fingers and looking worried. "Um, I made a mistake. I don't need to post anything. I just came here to check...um, I wanted to see whether my owl was back. I mean, not my owl, I don't have an owl. I wanted to see if James' owl was back. He's waiting for a letter from his Mum, and he overslept so he couldn't check himself. Apollo's not here though so I guess I'll just, er..."

Sirius turned around and walked quickly out of the door. Marlene frowned. She knew Sirius hadn't been looking for James' owl. If the letter from his Mum had arrived it would have come at breakfast. She wondered who Sirius had been writing to that he hadn't wanted her to know about, or if he wasn't writing a letter, what the parchment was he had been holding, and why he had come up to the Owlery instead of going to breakfast. She checked her watch and picked up her bag from the floor. She hadn't been doing well in her schoolwork so far this year. She was too upset to concentrate on classes, but she didn't want to miss them altogether.

* * *

"Marly, no. The shrivelfig goes in before the bat wings, and you're supposed to have grated it, not crushed it," Lily said, pulling Marlene's hand back from her cauldron for the fifth time.

Marlene's eyes filled with tears and Lily sighed.

"I'm not trying to make you sad," Lily said, tipping her own grated shrivelfig into Marlene's cauldron and picking up another one to grate for her own potion. "But your marks really can't get any lower. The teachers will start wondering what's going on, and your parents will kill you if they find out how much your grades have dropped. We've only been back at school for a week. Here, slice the batwings and then add them when the potion starts steaming."

Marlene thanked Lily and started to pull her knife across the wings on the table. She had always been good at potions. She wasn't naturally talented like Lily, but she found following instructions satisfying. It was a subject you couldn't do badly in if you were able to concentrate on the directions given, and so she had always done well. Now that she couldn't focus on anything but her misery her potions were getting worse. She was lucky that she sat with Lily, who seemed to have time to complete Marlene's potions to perfection as well as her own.

"Are you okay, Marly?" Lily looked concerned. "You look very pale today. Have you been getting enough sleep? You haven't been eating either. I'm really worried about you."

Marlene stopped shredding the batwings and stared at the table. She knew she should reply. It wasn't fair that she had spoken to Rosier, who she was convinced was pure evil, and to Sirius, who didn't want to talk to her anyway, but was continuing to ignore Lily. She just felt more comfortable in silence. She was developing a horrible headache, and the dizziness she had felt when she had woken up hadn't completely vanished. She tipped the batwings into her cauldron and watched the colour change to an inky black, mirroring Lily's potion.

"Well, class," Professor Slughorn clapped his hands together to get everybody's attention. "You should all have reached the halfway point in your potions. Once you've added the batwings, the potion needs to be frozen overnight. We will continue this lesson tomorrow. Leave your work spaces clear."

Lily vanished Marlene's ingredients along with her own. They stood up and went to leave the classroom.

"One second, Miss Evans. I wanted a quick word with you about the first meeting of the slug club. You boys should come as well, Mr Potter, Mr Black," Slughorn called out.

"You go ahead to dinner, Mar. I'll catch you up," Lily said, turning back to speak to Professor Slughorn. Across the room, James and Sirius looked irritated. They usually tried to avoid Slughorn's gatherings, but it was impossible to do so when he cornered them in lessons.

Marlene left the room behind Remus and Peter. Remus gave her a small smile which she halfheartedly returned. She stood outside the classroom to wait for Lily. There was no point going to dinner by herself. She wouldn't have anyone to sit with. She didn't want to leave without Lily, and she was starting to feel really ill anyway. It was good to stand still for a minute.

Students were rushing past her in the corridor, trying to get to dinner or meet friends who had been in other classes. She pressed herself against the wall to keep herself out of their way. The world seemed blurry around her. She closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them the dizziness would have gone away, but nothing changed. She felt sick.

A group of Slytherin boys looked at her as they strolled past. They were taking up the whole corridor, making everyone behind slow down to their pace. Marlene clenched her teeth, trying to focus and see who was there. She didn't want another confrontation with Rosier. She could see his face in the middle of the crowd. He looked at her and smirked, but didn't stop. She held her breath until they had passed, and then let the tears start to run down her face.

"Marly, you okay? Did something happen?" Lily had left Slughorn's classroom, James and Sirius close behind them.

Marlene tried to take a breath but could remember how to do it. She could hear Lily's footsteps coming towards her but having her eyes open made her think she was going to throw up. The dizziness was overwhelming. She felt her legs buckle beneath her and spread out her hands in front of her.

"Mar?" Lily sounded scared.

"Marly? What happened to her?"

There were hurried footsteps and Marlene knew she could hear James' voice. She wanted to say something but she was sobbing too hard and couldn't make sense of where anybody was.

"Fuck. She needs to go to the hospital wing," James said. Marlene felt his arms wrap around her, and leaned her head on his shoulder as he lifted her up. "Padfoot, run ahead and tell Poppy what she's like. I'll get her there as soon as I can."

Marlene tried to listen to James and Lily's worried conversation but the words blended together. She allowed her head to loll back in James' arms and everything went black.

* * *

"She's going to be okay, Mr Potter. You can leave now. She just needs sleep."

"I can't just leave her. This is all my fault. I should have been looking after her."

"It's not anybody's fault. Sometimes the stress of beginning NEWTs is too much for people. She's not eaten anything for days and she's been under intense pressure. She just needs to relax."

"Well, I'll just sit here. I won't wake her up. I promise."

"Mr Potter, _there are rules. _This young lady needs to recover and your presence won't be able to help her. She needs undisturbed sleep and I must insist that you leave."

"But..."

"No. Go back to your common room. And you can tell Miss Evans and Mr Black that there's no point in them waiting outside either. I'm not letting her have any visitors until she's slept and eaten."

"Can I just..."

"Go back to your common room."

"I don't want her to think she's by herself. I don't want her to wake up thinking we didn't care."

"She won't wake up until tomorrow anyway."

"FINE. Just...look after her, okay?"

"That is my job, Potter."

"I know, I know. Thanks Poppy."

* * *

Marlene was confused. She knew that she was asleep but she couldn't manage to wake herself up. She was trapped. She didn't know how much time had passed or where anybody else was. Her limbs felt heavy and she couldn't move. She wanted to cry but had used up all her tears.

* * *

**A/N: I haven't had time to edit this. I figured you'd like an update more than perfect grammar, but hopefully it's not too bad anyway. I would absolutely love it if this chapter took the story to 100 reviews, so leave me a review to tell me what you think of it. xx**


	14. Recovery

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Chapter Thirteen, September 1976**

"Mar, you need to talk to me," James said, frowning. "Please. I'm so sorry about everything. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

Marlene didn't say anything. She had been in the hospital wing for 24 hours and James had been by her side for most of them. He wanted her to talk to him so that he could help her, but she didn't know what to say. She had retreated into silence.

"Leave her alone, James. She doesn't want to talk." Lily put her hand gently on James' shoulder but he shrugged her off and scowled.

"I don't think you're in a position to say what she needs."

"What?"

"Lily, she's in here because she didn't eat anything for four days and started to get symptoms of _starvation. _At what point did you decide it wasn't a problem that she wasn't having anything at meals? Because if I remember correctly, you were with her the entire time, and you didn't mention that anything was wrong"

"Are you serious?" Lily's cheeks were flushed and she looked upset. "You try making somebody eat when they won't even speak to you."

"You should have done something. It shouldn't have gone this far. She's in hospital."

"Well, maybe you should have payed some attention to the girl who's supposedly your best friend."

"I wasn't with her. I didn't know it was this bad."

"I tried to tell you. You didn't listen because you were too busy telling me I should go to Hogsmeade with you. I was the only one who _was _there for you. I don't think you can blame me for this one, Potter."

"Watch me."

"You are _insufferable. _I'm going to go and make a start on that Charms essay. Marly, I'll come back this evening, okay?" Lily stood up, bending to kiss Marlene's head. She had tears in her eyes and didn't say anything more to James as she left the room.

"Well that was an overreaction," James said. He crossed his arms and leant back in his chair, tilting it onto its back legs. "Come on, Mar. I want to talk to you about how annoying Lily is. Say something."

Marlene closed her eyes and shrank back into her pillow. She didn't know why she wasn't talking to James. It was only making everything worse. Part of her knew that she should just say something. She had always spoken to James about all her problems, and they would work together to fix them, but something about this felt different. James wouldn't be able to change her situation with Rosier. Nobody could do that apart from her parents. And if her couldn't get rid of the problem, she didn't want to speak about it.

"Marlyyyyyyy, talk to me. I will do whatever you want. I will. I'm serious. Please say something. I've missed you."

Marlene curled up into a ball on her bed and allowed a tear to run down her cheek. She didn't know how she had anything left to cry, but the tears kept coming.

"Look, this has gone too far. I don't know what to do."

James reached out to touch Marlene's fingers. She had clenched her hands into small fists, and he wrapped his hand around hers.

"I'm sorry, Marly, but I don't know what else to do."

James leaned forward to give Marlene a huge hug, and then stood up.

"I need to get you help. I love you, Mar. I'll be back soon."

Marlene watched him leave and the tears started to run faster. She didn't understand when everything had got so complicated.

* * *

It had only been a couple of hours but if felt like forever. Nobody had come to visit her and Marlene had been lying in the hospital bed staring at the ceiling by herself.

The door banged open. Madam Pomfrey looked up from treating a first year with antlers. She looked irritated but smiled when she saw who had arrived.

"Ah, Mr McKinnon. It's good to see you again."

Marlene rolled over. She hadn't expected either of her parents to come to see her and was confused by why her Father would have turned up at Hogwarts. She sat up to look at the door and smiled when she saw her brother.

"Hey, Marly," Jack strode across the Hospital Wing to sit at the side of her bed. "James sent me an owl. The office let me take the afternoon off to come see my baby sister. They've got us working weekends now, but they thought you being in hospital was enough to justify a few hours off."

Marlene reached out to him and he pulled her into a hug. It had been less than a week since she'd seen him but it felt good to have him there.

"Right, so what's going on? I hear you've been causing drama and worrying all your friends." Jack looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me any of this not talking bullshit. I've taken time of work to come and see you. You owe me an explanation."

"I don't want to marry him," Marlene said. Her voice was quiet and she bit her lip after speaking.

"Well, that's easily resolved. That's what all this is about? Why did you fall out with James?"

"I told Sirius he was selfish to leave his family."

"Okay. You can probably fix that too. This'll all work out, Marly."

"Rosier's _evil, _Jack."

"Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not. He's really genuinely evil." Marlene took a deep breath. "I think he's following me. He doesn't want me to make him look bad and reduce his credit with You Know Who. I'm _scared_ of him."

"Mar, you don't have to marry him, not if it's causing you this much distress."

"They said it was important."

"Not _this _important. It's not worth ending up in hospital over."

"But they said it was the best way to keep our family safe. I can't let it be my fault that you're all in danger."

"I'm in danger anyway, Mar. I'm pretty sure you could join the Death Eaters and it still wouldn't protect me. Mum and Dad can look after themselves. They love you. If they knew you were this upset by it all they wouldn't expect you to do it."

"I think they would. They said I needed to do it. I don't want them to hate me."

"They're not going to hate you. They're still your parents. They were stupid to put you in this position but they want you to be happy. They just don't understand how much they're asking of you. Things were different when they were growing up. If you were born into one of the old families you were expected to make sure your marriage led to the continuation of the bloodline. It's not like that anymore."

"Isn't it? That's not what Rosier thinks."

"Obviously lots of families still buy into it but it's not like something bad's going to happen if you refuse. I'm not planning on getting married any time soon. I'm not committing the rest of my life to somebody I don't love, and if I do fall in love I'll commit to the girl whatever her blood's like. People don't buy into those traditions anymore. I mean, if James gets his way he'll end up marrying a muggleborn, finishing off the pureblood Potter line for good, and it's not like his parents would care. We have choices. You don't need to do this."

"Are you sure?" Marlene was starting to feel silly for not speaking to Jack when she first found out about Rosier.

"Course I am. I'll speak to them for you. They won't force you to do anything."

"Thankyou."

"It's no problem at all. Shall we stop all this silliness now?" Jack tucked his arm around Marlene's waist and leant his head against hers.

"It's not silly."

"Yes, it is. You've been practically killing yourself here without speaking to anyone who can change it. You can't do this every time things get difficult. Life isn't going to be easy for you, given who your friends are. If you stop eating and distance yourself from everybody as soon as times are hard you're not going to make it through this war."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not asking you to be sorry. I'm not angry. I'm just not sure I'll always be here to rescue you. I love you, Marly. I don't want to think you're at risk of hurting yourself."

"I won't. I'll look after myself."

"Glad to hear it. Are you going to start talking to James again?"

"Yeah. I've missed him."

"Good. I should get back to work. I'm glad I came to see you, though. Let me know if you're upset about anything, okay? Don't let yourself suffer here by yourself. I wouldn't have known anything was going on if James hadn't had the sense to owl me. You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know. I don't know why I didn't write to you. I'll be better now though. I won't let it get this bad again."

"Try to be happy. You're only young once. This is your last year to enjoy school before you're thrown into the world and the war outside. Make the most of it. I don't want to hear you've spent it crying and losing friends."

"I'll try."

"Okay. I'll see you at Christmas, yeah? Make sure you write to me in between. I'll deal with Mum and Dad for you."

"Thanks, Jack. I love you."

"Love you too." Jack kissed her and stood up. "Good luck with everything."

Jack waved at Madam Pomfrey and left the room. As soon as he had gone Madam Pomfrey hurried over to Marlene's bed, checking her temperature and looking at her critically.

"How are you feeling? You look a lot better."

"I'm fine," Marlene said, fiddling with the ends of her hair. "I'm really good, actually. I feel much better."

"Well, I think if you eat your dinner properly tonight you should be fine to leave tomorrow morning," Madam Pomfrey said. "I'll get a house elf to bring you up something from the Great Hall."

"Thanks."

Marlene closed her eyes and sank back into her pillow, pulling her duvet up around her. She finally felt relaxed. Jack had always been able to make everything feel simple. He saw things in black and white, and it meant he could find a solution to any problem they faced. Marlene was much more likely to get distracted by details and worry about them until she'd created more problems than she'd started with. She resolved to be more like Jack in future. He was right. She needed to learn how to get back on her feet when things went wrong. She couldn't always drown in self pity and wait for somebody else to save her.

* * *

"Well, I think you're ready to go," Madam Pomfrey said. "Your physical health is completely fine, but you need to make sure you maintain it. I know sixth year is stressful but you mustn't let it affect your health like this."

"Okay," Marlene said, climbing out of bed. "Thanks for everything."

"It's my job, dear. You just focus on staying healthy. Make sure you eat enough. I don't want to see you back here."

"I will."

Marlene gathered the small pile of belongings she'd had with her in the hospital wing and shoved them into her bag. She felt disgusting and knew she needed a shower, but it was breakfast time already and she didn't want her friends to see her skipping another meal as soon as she was out of the hospital. It was Sunday so she decided to go down to breakfast and sort herself out afterwards. She needed to feel in control of her life again, and she was going to start by eating a meal and laughing with her friends.

Somebody was leaning against the door when she tried to open it. She could see the silhouette of a boy through the frosted glass window. She hit her hand against the window and watched him move out of the way. She opened the door and glared at him, ready to lecture him about getting in the way, but closed her mouth again when she realised who it was.

"Marlene," Sirius said. He looked exhausted, and still had a thin line of bruising across his cheek where she had slapped him. "I'm...I'm really sorry."

"What for?" Marlene gave him a wide smile, determined to show him that she was better, that she was stronger than she had been acting.

"I'm sorry for leaving my family and having them break off our engagement. I'm not sorry that I did it, but I'm sorry for not thinking about how it would affect you and being there to help you with it all. I'm sorry that I let myself get into an argument with you instead of giving you a hug and letting you be angry. And I'm sorry for watching you falling apart all week and not doing anything about it until you ended up in the hospital wing."

Sirius looked at her pleadingly. "Come on, Mar. I've never apologized so much for anything."

"I know. I feel honoured. Look, you don't need to be sorry. I know I blamed you, but you didn't do anything wrong. I was unfair to say it was all your fault. I've just been really scared."

"I know. I'm scared too," Sirius said, taking her bag for her and holding her hand as they started to walk to the Great Hall.

"You are? Don't let your fan club hear you say that. The great Sirius Black allows himself to be scared by the matters of mere mortals."

"I think we can safely say it's debatable whether You Know Who is a _mere mortal. _Of course I'm scared, Marly. Everyone is. I'm scared that my brother's going to get hurt by my family. I'm scared that James won't make it through this war, or Remus, or Pete...or you."

"What about yourself?"

"What?"

"Aren't you scared about whether _you're _going to make it through?"

"I don't know. I guess. I think I just feel like, statistically, it's unlikely we're all going to come out of this alive. I mean, we're Gryffindors. We're going to be fighting and we're going to be outnumbered. And if we aren't all going to come out alive, I think the ones that die have come off lucky. I can't think of anything worse than being left behind."

"You won't be left behind. We'll all stick together."

"And die together?"

"And live together. It's going to be fine."

"I hope so."

They had reached the entrance hall. Marlene was apprehensive about going into the Great Hall. People would know she'd been in the Hospital Wing, and although nobody but her friends knew why, gossip always surrounded people who had been ill.

Sirius looked at her and squeezed her hand.

"Don't worry, Mar. Nobody will even notice you. You're standing next to the most beautiful man in Hogwarts. I think their attention will be diverted towards me."

"I'm pretty sure that'll mean I attract more stares than I would by myself. You want to let go of my hand?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to avoid people looking at me. No need to give them more reason to start gossip."

"Nah. What can they do? I like holding your hand."

Marlene felt a blush rising to her cheeks. She knew Sirius was just being friendly but it felt good to have spent the walk with him. Him holding her hand didn't mean anything more than that he felt guilty about their argument, but part of her wanted it to mean more. She opened her mouth to argue with him, but knew she wasn't going to. She liked the feeling of his hand around hers.

"You're a liability, Black."

"But you love me," Sirius said with a wink, pulling her into the Great Hall.

"Sure. You keep telling yourself that."

The Hall wasn't full. It was a Sunday morning so lots of people hadn't bothered getting up for breakfast. Marlene was glad. She looked straight ahead of her as Sirius lead her over to the Gryffindor table but she could feel the stares. She could make out some of the whispers surrounding their entrance.

"_So it's true. I told you they were together."_

"_Yeah, I heard they got in this big fight because she was pregnant. She slapped him and then had a miscarriage so she's been in hospital. He doesn't actually want to be with her but he feels guilty."_

"_They were arranged to be married, you know. And he called it off. She got all grumpy. I wonder what he's done to get back in her good books? Probably something in the bedroom, I hear he's amazing."_

"Ignore them, Marly," Sirius whispered in her ear. "They're just bored of their own lives. Although, I'd be happy to make all this up to you in the bedroom if that's what you want."

"Shut up," Marlene tried to glare at Sirius but couldn't stop herself from laughing. He gave her a wink and sat down across the table from James and Remus. Marlene took the seat next to him.

Lily and Alice had been sitting with a gap between them and the boys, but when they saw Marlene and Sirius they shuffled down the table with their breakfast trays.

"Mar, you're back," Alice said with a warm smile. Marlene looked up at her, surprised, and Alice's smile faltered. Alice never apologized. This was her way of acknowledging that she wanted to be friends again, and Marlene would be stupid if she hoped for something more. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled back at Alice.

"Yeah. Apparently I'm all healthy again."

"That's good. We've missed you. We've been spreading some great rumours about why you were in there, though."

"_Seriously?_"

"Yup," James said, looking up from his bacon to join the conversation. "We've been making the most of your incapacitation to tell the school you're pregnant and crazy and desperately in love with Sirius and me and Remus."

"What about Peter?"

"We wanted it to be at least vaguely believable."

"Don't be mean, James," Alice said. "My personal favourite is that you and Sirius were together and you were in love with him, but Sirius was only with you because he's gay and wanted to cover up his feelings for James, and then when he found out James reciprocated his feelings he ended it with you and you went insane and had to be hospitalized."

"Well, thanks a lot, guys. It's good to know I've got such good friends." Marlene put a croissant on her plate and started to pile it up with butter and jam. Across the table, she could see Lily watching her carefully. She was sure that Lily would have taken James' words to heart and would now be making sure she looked after her properly.

"Aw, we missed you, Marly," James said. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Marlene said, leaning against Sirius, deciding she didn't care about the gossip. He put his arm around her without saying anything, continuing to eat his breakfast. Everything felt right.

* * *

**A/N: WOOO 100 reviews, thanks everyone, especially halfbloodbanana who has been wonderful and reviewed every chapter. Let me know what you think of this one. I couldn't resist bring Jack back. I hope you all still like him. Your reviews make me really happy, keep them coming :) xx**


	15. Best Friends and Glitter Stains

**Disclaimer: obviously it's still not mine**

**Chapter Fourteen, October 1976**

"It's been weeks. I don't get why people still care," Marlene said, frowning as Lily tried to charm away the spilt ink that was spreading over her robes. Bertha Jorkins had tipped a whole bottle of fluorescent, sparkly ink over her in the corridor after lunch. It had initially only covered the edge of her sleeve, but within twenty minutes had spread and now coated half her robes with glittery yellow. Lily thought it must be charmed to spread over all the fabric. Bertha had apologized profusely, insisting that it had been an accident and that she didn't know what had come over her, but Lily had heard her laughing about it in the girls' bathroom when she went to get tissues to clear it up. Bertha was a hardcore member of Sirius' fan club, and the ink spill wasn't the first petty act of revenge the club members had taken on Marlene for supposedly stealing Sirius.

"It's Sirius Black, Mar. They think he's given up his bad boy ways and settled down. It'll take them a little while longer to get over it," Lily said, frowning and flicking her wand again. The ink continued to shine on Marlene's robes. "I don't know what this is. It's not coming off at all. I'm surprised she managed it. I wouldn't have thought Bertha was smart enough to get ink to do this. Maybe she had help from the rest of the team"

"Maybe. Dammit it's just spreading further. This isn't fair. We're not even together. I keep trying to tell them the reason they can't get him is because he thinks they're ridiculous, but they insist that it's because he's secretly in love with me. I wish they'd just get over it already. Maybe if they spent less time plastering their faces with make up and more time actually talking to him they'd get somewhere."

"You know it'll blow over. They all saw you two walk into the Great Hall holding hands together, you're the only one he hugs, and he hasn't payed them much attention recently. They want to explain away the fact he doesn't like them by putting the blame on you."

"But he's only being like this with me because he's worried. It doesn't _mean _anything. He's just trying to make sure I'm okay."

"I know. I'm impressed by it, to be honest. I wouldn't have thought he'd have it in him. But you can see why they're reading into it. He's not acting like the Sirius they're used to. I prefer him this way but it's not what they want. They'll leave you alone when he starts meeting them all in broom closets again."

"I wish he'd hurry up with it. I've had enough of this."

"Yeah, me too. I don't know what to do about your robes. This is some impressive spellwork. She must have had a Ravenclaw in on it. My bet's on Amelia Bones. She'd know how to do this, and she's smart enough to realise that you guys are friends. She'd know the way to Sirius' heart wasn't to make it obvious she hates you. Bertha wouldn't think like that."

"I wouldn't be surprised. This has Amelia written all over it. What am I supposed to do? I can't walk around like this all day. By dinner I'm going to be completely yellow. I look ridiculous."

"Sorry honey." Lily packed her Charms books back into her bag and looked apologetic. "You're just going to have to deal with it. We'll try to fix it again tonight, and you have other robes you can wear tomorrow if we still can't get it off. It'll be alright for one day."

"I guess. Fucking Bertha Jorkins. It's not like she stands a chance with Sirius anyway."

"Don't be mean, Marly."

Lily opened the door to the Transfiguration classroom and pushed Marlene in front of her, forcing her to enter the room. Marlene took their usual desk near the back of the classroom and pretended she didn't notice people laughing at her. Alice had already sat down with Emmeline Vance. Marlene didn't know Emmeline very well, but Lily and Alice both spoke highly of her. She was extremely clever, and although she was good friends with some of the girls giving Marlene a hard time, she agreed that they were just embarrassing themselves. Alice looked up when they sat down.

"I was wondering where you two were. I like what you've done with your robes, Mar. I think I have a nail varnish that colour."

"Shut up. It wasn't by choice."

"More drama with Dorothy Vane?"

"Nah, Bertha Jorkins."

"Bad luck. I thought it probably wasn't your choice. You're not a very sparkly person."

"Thanks?"

James jabbed Marlene in the back with a quill from the desk behind. She turned round and glared at him. He gave his best innocent expression and she smiled.

"What?"

"Why did Jorkins turn you sparkly? I don't like it."

"Aw, thanks James. It's so nice to hear your opinion, especially when it's your fault."

"That's an outrageous accusation. Take it back."

"Nope. I blame you entirely. Bertha believes all your rubbish about Sirius and me being together. She's trying to take out the competition."

"It's been going on for weeks, Potter," Lily said, speaking without turning around. "How have you not noticed?"

James looked confused. "So, they prank you because he doesn't want them?"

"Pretty much."

"That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard, and I share a dorm with Wormtail."

"Yeah," Sirius joined in the conversation. "Sorry, Mar. I had no idea."

"Well, you're the only one that can make it stop," Alice said with a grin.

"What?"

"They're concerned because you've not been seen in broom cupboards with anyone recently. They think Mar might have turned you into a one-woman man, with a woman that isn't one of them. If you want to help her, you need to go back to your manwhore ways." Alice rummaged in her bag, pulling out a nail file and bright orange nail varnish and placing them on the table on top of her Transfiguration homework.

"So I shag a few of them and they leave her alone?"

"Yup. I know you don't want to do it, but it would really help Marly." Alice started to paint her nails.

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Well, I reckon I can do that without too much difficulty. You owe me though, Mar."

"My knight in shining armor," Marlene said drily, turning back around to take out her homework.

"I try," Sirius called out behind her, making James laugh and Remus tell him to shush as McGonagall entered the classroom.

"Quiet down, class," McGonagall said, her eyes locked on the Marauders. "Today we're going to be applying the conjuring charms we practiced last year to living things. If you master the spell, you can conjure animals and control them to some extent. The incantation to conjure birds is 'Avis,' with the wand movement from left to right."

* * *

"That was depressing," Alice said as they left the classroom. "Why do we even need to conjure birds? I don't want to conjure birds. We could conjure so many better things, like tigers, or snacks"

"Alice if you can't conjure a bird you definitely wouldn't be able to conjure a tiger. And nobody can conjure food. It's not possible. Anyway, birds are nice. They're pretty," Lily said, watching the small birds that still circled the air above her head.

"And you can make them attack people," Marlene said.

"Well, if I ever need birds can one of you two conjure them for me?" Alice looked grumpy. The edge of her sleeve was singed from a faulty spell and she had a cut across one of her hands from the evil bird Emmeline had created by mistake.

"Hey, look," Lily said, grabbing Marlene's hand and pointing down the corridor.

"What?"

"He's trying to help you." Lily pulled her to the edge of the corridor so she could see where she was pointing.

Sirius was talking to a blonde girl, his hand on her arm. Marlene watched as he put his hand on the girl's cheek, tilting her head towards him. He said something and the girl laughed before leaning in and kissing him. He reached out behind him, opening the door to a classroom, and pulled her in with him. Lily pretended to be sick.

"There you go, Mar," Alice grinned at her. "Everything will go back to normal. That was sweet of Sirius, trying to protect you."

"I don't think you can try to make out that Sirius is a perfect gentleman just because he's willing to start sleeping around again after a couple of weeks off," Lily said, starting to walk again. "He's still disgusting, no matter what his motives are."

Alice laughed, and Marlene forced a smile. She couldn't explain the way her stomach dropped when she saw Sirius with another girl. She didn't know why this was happening now. She had always watched Sirius sleeping around, picking up and dropping girls when he felt like it. It wasn't like she expected anything from him. They weren't together, and she knew he wasn't interested in being anything more than friends, but she suddenly felt disappointed by it.

"So guess what?" Lily looked excited.

"What?" Marlene's voice came out less enthusiastic than she'd wanted it to.

"OH MY GOD," Alice said, looking carefully at Lily. "Who's the guy? Who is it? Is it James? No? Who? Dammit Lily, tell us."

"How did you know there was a guy?"

"It's all over your face, Lil."

"Oh," Lily looked a bit embarrassed but pleased. "Well, I was in the library in my free period before lunch, and Bertram Aubrey came and sat down next to me."

"Ooo, sleeping with powerful figures are we?" Alice giggled.

"Trying to get inside connections on the mission to become Head Girl next year?" Marlene caught Alice's eye and grinned.

"Shut up. He said he thought I was really pretty, and that he's noticed me at prefect meetings. He wants me to go to Hogsmeade with him on Halloween."

"That's so exciting. Our Lilyflower's all grown up," Alice said.

"Are they still running Hogsmeade trips after what happened last term?" Marlene was confused. Their group of friends hadn't been the only one to get hurt by the attack in Hogsmeade. She would have thought the school wouldn't want to risk the same thing happening again.

"Yeah," Lily said, biting her lip. "I thought it was surprising too. But they're upping security like mad. It'll be safe, just maybe less fun."

"I'm happy for you, Lil. Do you like him?" Alice seemed unfazed by the possible safety problems.

"Yeah. Yeah, I really do."

* * *

"I hate mornings," Alice said, glaring at the orange she was peeling.

"I know the feeling," Marlene said. She was watching Sirius and Emmeline Vance, who were entwined at the Ravenclaw table and didn't look like they were getting much eating done.

"Hey girls," James sat down next to Marlene. "No sparkles today Marly?"

"I'm wearing my spare robes. We couldn't figure out how to change the others back."

"Where are Remus and Peter?" Alice said.

"Wormy didn't do his Potions homework. Moony offered to help. Where's Lily?"

"Sitting with her new boyfriend," Alice said, nodding her head towards where Lily sat, Bertram's arm around her shoulders.

"Her what?" James choked on the coffee he had just poured into his mouth. Marlene slapped his back for him.

"Boyfriend," Alice said with a malicious grin. "Her new boyfriend. The head boy. She really likes him."

"Oh," James said, stabbing pieces of bacon with his fork and looking down at the table. Marlene looked at Sirius and he rolled his eyes.

"Post's here," Marlene said, standing up to catch James' owl for him. Apollo was violent and usually suffered crash landings. She passed the owl to James, who thanked her, and sat down to open the letter her own owl had delivered.

"Mum says to send you love," James said through a mouthful of scrambled egg.

"Tell her thanks when you write back," Marlene said, frowning when she recognized her Mother's writing on the envelope of her letter. Jack had written to tell her he'd spoken to their parents and she wouldn't have to marry Rosier, but she hadn't heard from her parents since she had seen him. She slid the parchment out of the envelope and skimmed over the letter.

_Dear Marlene,_

_We were sorry to hear that you were unwell. Jack wrote to us and told us he had been to see you. He said you're much better now. I hope your grades didn't suffer because of the illness._

_Jack also wanted to speak to us about your engagement. He has made us realise that we were perhaps unfair not to discuss the arrangement with Rosier with you before making it. As we understand it, the engagement is not what you want, and has been making you unhappy. We have therefore called off the arrangement. You won't need to marry the Rosier boy._

_A consequence of this decision is that we are no longer able to pretend we might sympathise with He Who Must Not Be Named and his cause. We had hoped that we could conceal our allegiances but this is no longer possible. Because of this, we have decided to contribute fully to the war, and have joined The Order of the Phoenix with the Potters. I'm afraid this may make you more of a target, but it seems the right thing to do. We are sure that you understand. Jack is pleased, and hopefully this gives us a chance to protect him more than we would be able to do from the outside._

_Keep working hard, darling. Don't let the war outside affect your grades. It's still important to do well. We hope you're not getting distracted. Tell James to do the same thing. He shouldn't let anything get in the way of his studies. We want you both to be successful and live happy lives once this war is over._

_With Love,_

_Mum and Dad_

Marlene smiled when she finished the letter. It was more relaxed than her Mother's writing usually seemed. She had trusted Jack to sort everything out, but it was still a relief to know that everything with Rosier had been called off. She was glad her parents had joined the Order as well. She didn't think it would make much difference to the way life was at home, but she was pleased they were doing the right thing. She loved them both, despite their difficulties.

"Good news?" James snatched the letter out of Marlene's hands and she shrugged.

"Yeah. I'm happy. Really happy."

"Why does your Mum always tell me to work hard?"

"Because she remains hopeful that one day you'll take her advice."

"Why does she think I don't work?"

"Your Mum shows her all the letters she gets home from school."

"I hate that they talk about us."

"I don't think we could make them stop, though. Right, I need to run and finish my Defence essay. I fell asleep last night. I'll meet you guys later?"

"Sure," James said, turning to Alice, who had fallen asleep next to her baked beans. "Green, wake up. I'm bored. I need you to entertain me."

Marlene laughed and waved. It felt good to have Alice and James back. The last few weeks had been happy. They had been able to focus on normal teenagery things, gossiping about who was seeing who, and which dresses went with which shoes. She stopped for a second to tighten her shoelace, kneeling down in the Entrance Hall.

She could hear footsteps approaching her but ignored them. People would be starting to leave breakfast in a minute. She finished tying her lace and went to stand up, but a hand came around her face, covering her mouth. She recognized Rosier's overpowering aftershave and shuddered.

"I received some interesting news this morning," Rosier growled into her ear. "You've embarrassed me, McKinnon. I don't take too kindly to people that embarrass me."

"Get off her."

Rosier let go of Marlene and turned around. Sirius and Emmeline had left the Hall. Sirius dropped Emmeline's hand and strode towards Rosier and Marlene. He stood in front of Rosier, with only a few inches between them. They were almost exactly the same height, but Marlene thought in this moment Sirius seemed more intimidating.

"You stay the hell away from her, okay?"

"And I suppose a dirty blood traitor like you is going to make me?" Rosier sneered and placed a hand on Sirius' chest as if to push him away.

"You bet I am."

Emmeline screamed as Sirius slammed Rosier into the wall, his hand against his neck. Marlene just watched it happen, feeling strangely detached.

"You listen to me, you bastard. This girl is one of my best friends, and I love her, and if I get the impression that you've been giving her trouble, I will end you. Are we understood?"

"Yes. Let go of me. Are you crazy?"

"I don't make empty threats, Rosier. Leave her alone." Sirius let go of Rosier, who stumbled a few meters away from him before looking back.

"You'll regret this," Rosier said, waving his finger at Sirius, then moving it to point at Marlene, then Emmeline. "All of you. I'll make you regret this." His gaze rested on Marlene for a moment, before he turned away.

"Well, um, thanks," Marlene said, looking at Sirius.

"Make sure you tell me if this happens again." Sirius' breathing was heavy. "I'll deal with it for you."

"Babe?" Emmeline had stepped closer to Sirius, resting her hand on his shoulder. "You ready to go?"

Emmeline spoke to Sirius but didn't look away from Marlene. Marlene knew how it must have looked to her. She didn't know if Emmeline and Sirius were officially together, but she understood that Sirius saying he loved another girl wouldn't go down well, no matter what the context was.

"Sure. Yeah, let's go." Sirius looked at Marlene and gave her a small smile. He slid his arm around Emmeline's waist and Marlene watched them walk away down the corridor. They had only moved a few steps when Emmeline turned around, making Sirius stop for a moment.

"Hey, Marlene. If you want to get the ink out of your other robes, the spell is Evanesco, but you need to use the wand movement from Obliviate."

"Oh," Marlene said, confused by why Emmeline was helping her. "Um, thanks. I'll try that."

"No problem. They did it to me last time I got with Sirius. It took ages for me to break down the compounds in the ink and figure out the counter spell. I'll see you around, okay?"

"Sure."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for all your reviews. They all make me smile and it's really good to know what you think. Also, I wouldn't have written this chapter nearly so fast if I hadn't had so many of you asking for quick updates, so there's a good reason to keep reviewing if you need one. Let me know what you think xx**


	16. Halloween

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**Chapter Fifteen, October 1976**

The dormitory was littered with mini skirts and high heels. Alice was rummaging in her trunk, throwing various clothes to a hyperventilating Lily. Marlene had given up and was sitting on her bed and stretching her toes into the air.

"I'm going to look _terrible. _None of this looks good on me. I'm not as beautiful as you two. He made a mistake to ask me out. I'll just tell him I'm ill or something." Lily's words were hard to make out through her tears, but Marlene and Alice had both had enough practice with distraught Lily to understand her.

"Stop overreacting, Lil. You'll look lovely whatever you wear, and I'm sure Bertram won't mind. He asked you out when you were wearing your library clothes. You'll be fine," Marlene said, watching the chipped nail varnish on her toes instead of looking at Lily.

"But this is our first date. It's supposed to be perfect. I haven't been out with anyone for ages. I don't know what to do. It's all going terribly and I've not even met up with him yet."

"It's not even going to be like a proper date. You'll be with all his friends as well. That takes some of the pressure off."

"Are you joking? That just puts more pressure on me to impress them all. It's a first date where we're also triple dating with his friends. It's going to be awful. They're all going to think I'm fat and not good enough for him."

After the attack at the last Hogsmeade weekend of their fifth year, the rules had changed for Hogsmeade visits, in an attempt to increase security. They hadn't wanted to cancel the trips altogether, but knew they needed to reduce the risk of danger. It had been decided that all the Hogwarts teachers would be stationed around the village for the duration of the visit, as well as some members of the Auror department and the Ministry. They would act as guards, watching for any suspicious behaviour and protecting the students without getting in the way.

What had bothered everyone more was the new rule that students wanting to take part in Hogsmeade trips needed to stay in groups of at least six people. It made sense as a rule; you were much less likely to be attacked if you were with a big group of people than if you were by yourself. Marlene didn't mind the new rules. Her and Alice had arranged to go with the Marauders, and she was looking forward to spending time with them. It only really caused a problem for people who had wanted to arrange dates, as couples were no longer allowed to spend the trip alone together. To get around the rule without canceling their first date, Bertram had invited Lily to triple date with two seventh year couples he was friends with. It meant they could go to Madam Puddifoots and do all the things they would want to do on a date without breaking the rule.

"That's enough, Lily. Shut up," Alice stood up, holding a black dress. "You're being a pain. None of them are going to think you're fat and not good enough for him. For starters, you'll be with Charlotte Bulstrode. I've seen brick walls better looking than she is. They'd be hypocritical to judge what you look like. And even if you were only out with beautiful people, you'd totally outshine them all."

"You're just saying that to be nice," Lily said, wiping her eyes.

"When have I _ever _said something just to be nice? It's like you don't even know me anymore. Put this on with some black tights and your lace up boots. Marlene can lend you her green jumper to go with your eyes. Go and get changed. We should have time to fix your hair and make up if you're quick," Alice said, throwing the dress at Lily. Lily stood up and went into the bathroom to change.

"I don't recognize that dress," Marlene said. "When did you get that?"

"Just before coming back. I figured there's no reason not to own as many little black dresses as possible."

"I'm pretty sure that rule doesn't apply to you. You have more clothes than the rest of us put together."

"I know. It's a real problem. I need to get a good job when we get out of here or I'm not going to be able to fund my shopping addiction."

"Frank's an auror. Make him buy you stuff."

"Nah, he said he'd cut me off if I bought clothes I didn't need."

"He's not right for you, Alice. You need somebody that gives you unlimited access to their bank account."

"That's what I said. I told him my dream man needs to be tall, handsome, funny and willing to buy me shoes and dresses."

"What did he say?"

"He said unfortunately not all dreams come true, and then we had really good sex so I decided to let it go. I can sacrifice a few dresses if it gets me a guy as good as Frank in bed. Besides, it's not _impossible _that I'll get a job and be able to buy my own clothes."

"You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

"Shut up," Alice said, then turned her head to shout at Lily in the bathroom. "LILY GET OUT OF THERE AND SHOW US WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE."

"THIS DRESS IS TOO SHORT," Lily called from behind the bathroom door.

"NO SUCH THING," Alice shouted back. "GET OUT OR WE'RE COMING IN."

"Fine." Lily stepped out of the bathroom and twirled around.

"You look beautiful. Put Marly's jumper on top and you'll be perfect," Alice said, looking at Lily critically. "I think we should leave your hair how it is and just give you some eye make up. You don't want to look like you're trying to hard, but it's worth accentuating your eyes. He's a Slytherin, he'll like the green."

"That's a stupid thing to say. We don't like red eyes, why should they like green?" Lily laughed as Alice started to rummage through her make up bag.

"Don't ask me to try to understand the mind of a Slytherin. Sit down. This'll only take five minutes. You'll hardly even be late."

"I was supposed to meet him fifteen minutes ago, Alice."

"Don't say that like it's my fault you had a panic attack and refused to get dressed." Alice coated Lily's eyelashes with mascara, tapping them with her wand to curl them upwards. "Fine. You can go and meet him. You look gorgeous. He won't be able to take his eyes off you."

"Thanks, guys," Lily said, catching the jumper Marlene threw to her and pulling it over her head. "Have a nice day with the boys. I'll see you at the feast."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Marlene called as Lily closed the door behind her. "How long do we have until we're supposed to meet the others?"

"About minus ten minutes," Alice said, grinning and starting on her own make up.

"Fashionably late?"

"You know it."

"Don't take too long. I can't wait to get out of the castle."

"I'll be quick. Frank's on duty in Hogsmeade today. He said he'd meet us for a drink. I want to look my best."

"Ah, it all makes sense now. Is he allowed to do that when he's supposed to be working?"

"Sure. His job is to protect the students. He can do that just as well from inside the Three Broomsticks."

"Fair enough. Will he buy us firewhisky?"

"We might have to argue about it for a while but I'm sure he'll give in eventually. Right, just give me a sec to do my lippy and find some shoes, then we can go."

"Okay."

Marlene pulled a thin black cardigan over her dress, and put on a pair of brown heeled boots. It looked like quite nice weather so she didn't think she'd be cold. She thought about putting some make up on, but didn't want to delay them further, so settled for pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

"Are we good to leave?" Alice had put on her own boots and was double checking that she had her purse.

"Yup," Marlene picked up her bag. "Let's do this."

The Marauders were waiting by the fireplace in the common room. They stood up as Marlene and Alice walked down the stairs, mumbling about clocks and girls not being able to tell the time.

"Stop whining. Of course we were late. It takes time to look this good," Alice said, linking her arm through Peter's.

"Is Lily not meeting us?" James looked hopefully at Marlene. Marlene knew he was trying to sound casual, but he was wearing his favourite shirt and had combed his hair. It was obvious he'd been hoping to use the trip to impress Lily.

"Not today, love."

"But you three always go together."

"James, she's going with Aubrey. You know this. He's her boyfriend now."

"But he's _evil._"

"Being a Slytherin doesn't automatically make him evil."

"It significantly increases the probability that he is, though."

"Lily really likes him. Unless he does something to hurt her I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt."

"That sounds like good advice but I don't think I'll be taking it. I hate him. He's not good for her."

"He makes her happy, Jamie."

"It's obvious he's creepy and possessive. Why else would he make her go out with his friends instead of coming with us?"

"Maybe because he knows he wouldn't be welcome. Let it go, James."

The walk to Hogsmeade didn't take them very long. It was a sunny day and they were all in good spirits. Marlene spent most of the walk trying to get James to stop worrying about Lily. Alice was attempting to get Peter to skip with her. Peter kept refusing but eventually caved, and the rest of the group watched the two of them skip ahead, singing Celestina Warbeck's latest ballad as they went.

"He _badly _needs to get laid," Sirius shook his head as he spoke, watching Peter in bemusement.

"Give him a break," Remus said. "I'd like to see one of you try to stand up to Alice."

"He's right. It's easiest to just do what she wants," Marlene said, ruffling Sirius' hair.

"I'm not scared of her," Sirius said.

"That's foolish. It's much safer to be scared. Otherwise she sees it as a challenge."

Remus laughed and held the door to The Three Broomsticks as they walked in. Alice and Peter had taken a table near the bar. Alice waved them over and they sat down around the table.

"Frank's here. He went to get us drinks."

"Awesome," Sirius said. "Rosmerta won't give us firewhisky anymore. Apparently we get disorderly when we're drunk."

"I don't know what she based that unfair accusation on," James said, winking.

"I blame Moony. He can't hold his drink."

"That was only once," Remus said, looking embarrassed. "And I told you I shouldn't be drinking. I wasn't very well."

"You shouldn't have had so much to drink then."

"You charmed it to taste like water and told me it wasn't alcoholic."

"Okay, fine. It was our fault. We forgot it was your time of the month."

"What?" Alice looked confused, and turned to Marlene for an explanation. Sirius bit his lip and Remus glared at him.

"Sirius? Hey, sorry I'm late," Emmeline Vance strolled over to their table, wearing a very short white dress with bare legs and high heels. She sat on Sirius' lap and he pulled her in for a kiss. Alice grimaced and looked away, waving at Frank by the bar.

Frank carried over a tray of drinks and passed them around the table, pausing when he saw Emmeline.

"Erm, I didn't know you were coming. I'm sorry, I'll go and get you a drink now."

Emmeline separated herself from Sirius to give Frank a dazzling smile.

"Don't be silly. I'll get one in a bit. Thanks for the offer, though."

Frank sat down next to Alice and put his arm around her.

"It's good to be back in Hogsmeade," he said, looking around the bar with a smile on his face. "I've missed this place."

"What have you been up to?" James said, taking a gulp of his whisky.

"Training, mostly. The auror training's intense. I love it, though. So that's been most of my time, and then apart from that I've mainly been with family. I'm still living with my parents, and my sister's found out she's pregnant so I've spending lots of time with her."

"Oh, that's so exciting," Alice squealed. "I didn't know that."

"She only told us all last week. She's three months gone, but she didn't want to tell anyone until she was certain there weren't any complications with the pregnancy."

"Sound happier. You're going to be an Uncle," Alice said, kissing Frank's neck.

"I am happy for her, just a bit worried. She's made herself a target by marrying a muggleborn, and obviously I wouldn't tell her not to do it. She loves him and he's what she wants. But she'll be easier to attack while she's pregnant and once the baby's born. I want her to stay safe."

"She'll be fine. Gwen knows how to look after herself. The girl's fierce," Alice said.

"I hope so. I've been setting up extra security around her house so we should be able to look after her. Her husband would give his life for her too."

"It'll be okay. There's no need to worry."

"I hope so. This isn't a very cheerful conversation topic. How's Quidditch going, James?"

Marlene sighed as James launched into an analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of all his new players. _"We've kept Sirius as beater, obviously, but the new guy, Bell, he just doesn't work as well with him as you used to. Replaced Jack with a real find, though. Tiny little girl called Peakes. Throws a Quaffle like she was born to do it."_

Sirius went back to kissing Emmeline and Marlene downed her drink.

* * *

Alice insisted on starting getting ready for the Halloween party the Marauders had organized before they went to the feast. She said they could put their robes on over their dresses and it would save them time between the feast and the party. Marlene thought Alice was probably overestimating the amount of time they needed to get dressed, but once Alice had made up her mind there wasn't much point trying to argue with her. Lily still wasn't back from her date, and Samara and Mary were somewhere else, so Marlene and Alice had the dormitory to themselves.

"Can you wear heels tonight? I want to wear heels but I don't want to feel taller than everyone else," Alice said, strutting around the room in a ridiculously tall pair of shoes and her underwear. They had been back from Hogsmeade for an hour and had made no progress in Alice's getting ready plan.

"Sure. You choose my outfit for me," Marlene said. She had been going through her wardrobe trying to find a dress but had given up.

"Marlene McKinnon, are you giving me permission to give you a make over?"

"Um...yeah? I guess. Just...don't hurt me."

"Oh this is such a great day."

"Mmm," Marlene mumbled, lying face down on her bed and remembering the way Sirius had tugged Emmeline into a broom cupboard as soon as they'd all got back into the castle. She allowed Alice to force her into a tiny red dress and tall, gold heels. Alice brushed out her hair and coated her face with make up. By the time Lily got back, glowing with happiness from her date, Marlene looked like a different person. She waited for Alice to get Lily ready and work out her own make up, then stood up to walk down to the feast with her friends. They linked arms, wobbling in their shoes and laughing through Lily's evaluation of all the different ways Charlotte Bulstrode had ruined her date.

* * *

Three hours later, their stomachs were full and after putting the finishing touches to their party outfits, they made their way down the stairs. Lily had insisted that she didn't want to go. She was tired from her date, and James had made it clear that Bertram wouldn't be welcome at a Gryffindor party. Alice had forced half a bottle of firewhisky down her throat to get them in the mood, and now Lily was swaying as she walked, her arms around Alice and Marlene's shoulders to give her support as she tried to reach the bottom of the stairs.

"You gave her too much, Alice," Marlene said with a giggle.

"She only had a few shots more than we did. She'll be fine. You're having a great time, aren't you Lil?"

"Yes," Lily said. "I'm having a wonderfully fabulous time. We really must do this sort of thing more often."

"Atta girl." Alice let go of Lily when they reached the floor.

"Alice, Marly, I really love you two. I love you so much that I want to dance with joy."

"Yeah? Well, come on then. Let's dance," Alice took Lily's hand and dragged her into the middle of the room, picking up another couple of drinks as they went. Marlene went to follow them but was distracted by a shout from James. She turned around and caught him in a hug as he stumbled towards her, dangling an almost full bottle of firewhisky from his hand.

"Hey, Marls. You look like a beautiful butterfly."

"Thanks for that, Jamie. How much have you had?" Marlene said, taking a long swig from the bottle James held out to her.

"Hardly anything! Look how much is left in the bottle."

"And how many bottles did you have before this one?"

"That's classified information. If I told you I'd have to kill you."

"Ah, I see."

Marlene smiled as James wrapped his arms around her and started to dance. He was drunk but still sober enough not to step on her feet. She put her arms around his shoulders and leant into him.

"Marly?"

"Mm?"

"What if she never loves me back?"

"What?"

"Lily. I love her. She's so beautiful and her hair always smells so nice and she's just perfect. I don't know what I'll do if she never loves me back."

"She will one day, Jamie."

"But how do you know that?"

"Because I know everything."

"That's a lie. There's loads of things you don't know. You don't know that Sirius...well, I could name millions of things you don't know. How do you know she'll love me?"

"I don't know for sure, but she'd be crazy not to."

"If Lily doesn't want me, will you marry me Marls?"

"That would be a disaster."

"No it wouldn't. I think we'd be very happy together. I'd make you breakfast in bed every night and you give the best hugs ever and we could go dancing."

"You're drunk, Jamie."

"That doesn't mean my ideas are any less brilliant. Come on, Marly. If we're both still single when we're thirty, can we get married? Pleaseeeee. I don't want to be alone forever."

"Fine. If we're both still alive and single and thirty we can get married."

"Will you make an unbreakable vow?"

"You are an idiot."

"I'm a lovable idiot."

"I'm not letting a drunken lovable idiot convince me to make an unbreakable vow."

"Fine. We'll do it tomorrow when I'm sober."

"You'll still be an idiot."

"I'll also still be lovable. I hear lovable people make good husbands."

"I need a drink."

"Luckily for you I have plenty. Let's sit down."

James pulled Marlene to one of the armchairs by the fire. In first year they'd been able to share the chair, but James had bulked up significantly since then. He sat down and Marlene perched on the arm of the chair.

"Here," James passed her the firewhisky. "Drink this."

"All of it?"

"Yeah. I don't like being a drunken lovable idiot by myself. It's no fun."

Marlene laughed and tipped the bottle down her throat, welcoming the warmth it brought her as she swallowed it. She finished drinking and made to put the bottle down on the floor, but James took it out of her hands, tapped it and it refilled itself.

"I don't want anymore. I need to get a load of homework done tomorrow I can't have a bad hangover," Marlene said.

"Stop being a spoilsport. Everyone else is drunk. Look," James said, pointing around the room. Marlene looked up to see Alice dancing on the table that had held the drinks. Remus was hurriedly picking up bottles out of the way of her feet and transferring them to another table. Lily was trying to get Alice down. Marlene smiled as Alice shook her head, grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her up onto the table with her. Lily looked irritated for a second but Alice pulled her into a waltz along the table.

"That's just Alice and Lily."

"Nah, Sirius is smashed too. It's like he's trying to eat Samara's face."

Marlene looked in the direction James was gesturing, and lost the happy buzz inside her when she saw Sirius, tangled in a corner with Samara Brookes. She reached out for the bottle and drank as much as possible before moving onto James' lap for a hug.

"Do you love him?" James said, moving Marlene's hands away from her face to look at her.

"What?"

"Do you love Sirius?"

"Oh. No, of course not. He's an idiot."

"Good. I don't want you to get hurt."

"He's your best friend."

"So are you. He's hurt every other girl he's been with. I don't want to see you broken hearted."

"Because you know all about broken hearted?"

"Yeah, I really do."

"She means that much to you?"

"Marly, she's the love of my life. She breaks my heart a little bit more every day."

"I'm sorry. Hey, Mary McDonald's looking at you. Maybe she can cheer you up."

"Not tonight, Mar."

"No?"

"No. I want to spend tonight with somebody who actually means something to me. You want to dance again?"

"Sure. Here's to being unloved and marrying each other when we're thirty."

"I'll drink to that."

* * *

**A/N: Okay I know this is a bit fillery but I managed to do a pretty speedy update and it's a longish chapter for you and hopefully has given you a bit more insight into some of the characters. I enjoyed writing it so hopefully you like it. Let me know what you think of it. If you have any questions put them in a review and I'll reply xx**


	17. Black Moods

**Disclaimer: None of it is mine**

**Chapter Sixteen, November 1976**

"Can anyone tell me the effects of the cruciatus curse?" Professor Dearborn stood at the front of the classroom. He had instructed the class to put away all of their belongings. It was a small class, made up only of Gryffindors. Defence had been so popular recently that NEWT classes had been split into the houses instead of mixed together. The war was scaring people, and they wanted to learn to protect themselves. It meant more time could be spent with each student, and Dearborn put a lot of effort into each class, finding new ways to teach them. Today, at each desk were two enchanted flames, hovering in the air in front of the students. Next to Marlene, Lily raised her hand.

"Miss Evans."

"The cruciatus curse is, with avada kedavra and the imperius curse, an unforgivable curse. It puts victims through excruciating pain, so is often used to try to torture information out of people or as revenge. In most cases, it doesn't cause lasting physical harm, but if used over a long period of time the intense pain can make people lose their minds."

"Couldn't have put it better myself. 15 points to Gryffindor. Now, I'm glad you brought up the fact it doesn't cause lasting physical harm. Can anybody tell me what this might imply about the spell? Miss Green?"

"Erm," Alice stopped filing her nails under the table to look at the Professor. "The pain must be in the brain?"

"Can you extend that point?"

Alice sat in silence and frowned. Marlene squeezed her hand under the table. Alice hated being asked questions in class, and Defence was one of her worst lessons.

"I don't know what you're asking me," Alice said, looking back down at her nails.

"Very well. Can anyone else think about what this might mean?"

"If the pain only exists in the brain," James said, looking thoughtful. "Well, if it's not in a physical part of the body, then it could be entirely psychological."

"Brilliant," Dearborn looked pleased. "And if it's entirely psychological then..."

"Then we should be able to turn it off," Sirius said. "That's brilliant."

"Yes. Ten points to Gryffindor each for Mr Potter and Mr Black. Now, you must understand that what I'm teaching you today is just a theory. It hasn't been proven to be true. There is a section in the Department of Mysteries dedicated to studying pain. Some unspeakables are certain that pain inflicting spells like the cruciatus curse work by triggering pain receptors in the brain, in which case it would not be possible to block out the pain. However, the fact that the spell is not successful unless the user really wants to cause the pain suggests that there is at least some mental element to it. If you can learn at least partially to block out pain, you'll be able to defend yourselves against one of the nastiest spells that can been thrown at you."

Dearborn flicked his wand, and the flames over the desks grew larger.

"Now, obviously we can't practice this by putting you all in positions where you're being hurt, so I've decided to focus this lesson on feelings of discomfort rather than pain. You each have two flames above your desk. One is uncomfortably hot, the other uncomfortably cold. I want you to spend this lesson taking it in turns to touch both. They won't harm you but they will feel uncomfortable. I want you to try and push this discomfort out of your mind. Recognize that the feeling only exists in the mind, and use that to stop feeling it in your body. You may begin."

Marlene tentatively pushed her hand into the flame in front of her, and drew it back sharply when she felt the icy cold. She felt normal again as soon as she'd taken her hand out, so tried again. The cold made her draw in breath, and she instinctively took her hand out again.

"You need to hold your hand in for longer if you want it to work," Sirius said from behind her. Marlene turned around to scowl at him, and pulled his hand into his own flame. He yelped and pulled it out, shouting that it was hot. Marlene laughed and turned back to her flame.

"This is such a waste of time," Alice said, reaching close enough to touch the tips of her fingers to the flame and then moving back. "It probably doesn't even work. He said it was just a theory."

"I don't know. I think it's clever," Lily said, wincing as she held her hand in the fire in front of her. "You haven't read about what the cruciatus can do over long periods of time. It's horrible. People completely lose their personalities. I think it's kind of like Dementor kisses. They still walk around and eat and sleep, but they're empty shells. There are victims of Grindelwald's army still alive in hospitals. They don't even know who their own children are. I'm happy to spend some time with my hand in magic fire if it means I can learn to avoid that."

Marlene swallowed and looked at her flame. She took a deep breath and put her hand back into the icy cold. Alice was saying something next to her but she ignored her, thinking about what Dearborn had said, _push the discomfort out of your mind. _She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling of the cold, driving everything else away until she could only think of the cold. Once she had found the cold she tried to grasp hold of it, pushing it away. Nothing changed. She sighed with disappointment and took her hand out of the fire.

"Did you do it?" Lily said, looking impressed. "You weren't responding to anything we said. Did you manage to get rid of the feeling?"

"Um, no, not really, but I think I understand what we're supposed to do. I think I found where the feeling is. I don't know how you use that to get rid of it, though.

"That's a really good start," Lily said. "In the textbook it said you can't begin to focus on defending yourself until you understand the nature of the thing you're fighting. You're one step closer than the rest of us."

Marlene smiled and sat back in her chair. She had never been the first to grasp something in Defence. James and Sirius were brilliant, and Remus and Peter usually managed before any of the girls. Something about this task had just made sense to her, although she hadn't managed it completely. She felt drained and didn't want to try again for a little while. Instead, she watched her friends try. Remus managed to block the feeling out entirely after another ten minutes. Professor Dearborn kept turning up the temperature of his flame without Remus feeling any heat, earning 30 points for Gryffindor. James, Sirius, Peter and Lily all eventually reached the level that Marlene had, but none of them could figure out how they were supposed to block the pain out altogether.

Dearborn let them leave class ten minutes early, saying it was more tiring than a lesson would usually be and advising them to eat lots of chocolate.

"Well, that's two hours of my life that I'll never get back," Alice said.

"You just need some practice," Lily said reassuringly.

"I hate Defence."

"It's fine, Alice. Nobody managed to do it perfectly. Even Remus said he could feel _something._"

"But you're all so much better than me. You'll all be able to withstand torture and I'll just die."

"Don't be silly. Dearborn said it's highly unlikely that any of us would be able to throw off a full cruciatus. It's about a million times more painful than what we were practicing with. Most of the auror department can't block it out at all, and they've all got Os in their Defence NEWTs. He wasn't expecting everyone to managed it. He just wants us to have some kind of preparation."

"I guess."

"Doesn't he give you extra lessons? If it's really bothering you you should ask if you can focus on psychological pain this week."

"Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks, Lil."

"Alice, I promise it'll be fine. I'm sorry if I scared you earlier. It's really rare for the cruciatus curse to be used for long enough and with enough intensity to cause lasting effects."

"I know. I'm not worried about what it could do to me."

"What?"

"Don't get me wrong. Obviously I don't like the idea of losing my mind, but that's not it."

"So why's this upset you so much?"

"I think...well, even if I'm not good enough to fight, I know that a whole lot of people I love will be trying their very hardest to end this war. I don't want to be the weak link. I don't want to think I'd be the one to collapse under torture and give them what they want. If I can't manage the pain I might betray you, or the guys, or Frank. What if I have a family? I couldn't protect my children. I don't want to let you all down."

"You won't. Don't be silly. You're one of the strongest of us all."

"I want to think that I'd withstand it until the very end. If I ever have to face that kind of pain, I want to think I'd bear it if it protected the people I care about."

"Hopefully you'll never be in a position where you need to."

* * *

Alice had fallen asleep with her head on her Potions essay. Lily poked her with her quill a few times, trying to wake her up, but gave up when Alice hit her hand away.

"Leave her alone. She's tired," Marlene said, rolling up her completed essay and taking out her Defence homework.

"She said she wanted me to help her," Lily said. She was sitting with Marlene and Alice while they struggled with the homework she had already completed. Marlene had told her she could go and do something else, but she had insisted that she could do some extra work to reduce the amount of revision she'd need to do later on. She was trying to be kind and keep them company, but having her watching them struggle made it more stressful.

"Help her later?"

"I can't. I'm meeting Bertram in half an hour."

"Yeah?" Marlene closed her Defence textbook and raised an eyebrow at Lily. "We only have an hour until curfew."

"I know. We're just going for a walk around the grounds."

"It's freezing."

"I know, but we can hardly meet in one of our common rooms. I'm muggleborn. The Slytherins would eat me alive."

"That's probably true. Why don't you invite him here?"

"He doesn't want to spend time in Gryffindor tower. I think it's fair. I can't see the guys making him feel very welcome."

"Fair enough. No point winding up James any more than you have to. Is it all going well with Bertram? Is it worth all this hassle?"

"He's wonderful," Lily said earnestly. "He makes me feel special. He's not at all like most of the Slytherins. He holds my hand and meets me after my classes, and he's not said anything about my blood. He's a real gentleman. I think..."

Lily stopped talking as James approached the table. He looked worried, and headed straight over to Marlene without looking at Lily. Lily looked offended but James didn't seem to notice.

"Marly, I need you," James said, grabbing Marlene's hand and starting to pull her away from the table.

"What?" Marlene pulled her arm out of James' grip. "I'm working. What's wrong?"

"Sirius."

* * *

James pulled Marlene against the wall. They struggled to both fit under the invisibility cloak without showing their feet, so held onto each other to stay close together while they listened to the shouting from around the corner.

"Just stay out of this. You're not my brother anymore."

"Of course I am, Reg, and it's my job to look after you and make sure you don't make idiot decisions like this."

"Well, you're a bit too late."

"What?"

"I already joined."

"Are you fucking joking?"

"Funnily enough, I'm completely serious."

"No, I'm...never mind, this isn't the time. What have you done, Reg?"

"I've done nothing that I should apologise for. You don't need to be ashamed. You should be proud of me."

Sirius let out a yell and there was a crash. James looked down at Marlene, his eyes wide, and dragged her around the corner, still under the cloak. Sirius had knocked over a suit of armor, and was now punching the stone wall it had stood in front of. Regulus was watching him, looking scared.

"Sirius, stop," Regulus stepped closer to his brother. "It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Fucking hell, Reg. Why couldn't you stand up for yourself for _once_? You should have told them you didn't want some fucking psychopath branding his symbol onto your flesh."

Next to Marlene, James drew in a sharp breath.

"It's...it's an honour."

"How is it an honour? Enlighten me."

"It's an honour that I've been trusted to carry the mark of the greatest wizard of the age."

"No. It's not a fucking honour. You're letting him control you. It shows he owns you, and there's no going back. You've sold your soul to a terrorist because you were too scared to say no to your Daddy."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't left me I would have been able to...but I couldn't watch them lose another son. I like to think this will allow them to retain some of the respect that used to be held for the Black household. I'm sorry that I didn't want to trample our family name any further into the mud."

"Nice metaphor. Did you borrow that from our Mother?"

"Grow up. Maybe one day you'll realise what you lost by walking out on us, but for now you can stop pretending to care. You're not my family anymore, and what I choose to do doesn't concern you." Regulus stood still for a moment, watching Sirius drive his fists against the wall. "Goodbye, Sirius."

Sirius didn't turn around to watch his brother leave. He continued to punch the wall until his fists were coated in his own blood, and then crumpled to the floor, his head bowed and his shoulders shaking.

James leaned in to whisper to Marlene.

"You go to him, Mar."

"What? He'll want you."

"No. Not now. He needs someone that understands what it is to see things differently to your family. I won't be able to help him. Go on, I'll go back to the common room and tell the guys what happened."

Marlene stepped out from under the cloak. Sirius didn't look up from where he knelt. She felt James move away from her side, and hurried to Sirius. He didn't acknowledge her, so she sat down next to him and wrapped her arm around his back, pulling him into her and murmuring consoling words into his ear. He sobbed against her chest and she stroked his hair, unsure what to say but positive that he didn't want her to leave. He shook in her arms and she tightened her grip around him.

They sat there for a long time. Marlene didn't know how much time had passed, but was certain curfew had been and gone a long time ago. She let Sirius cry until he was completely still, and then sat in silence with him in her arms. When he finally sat up, she reached for his bloodied hands.

"Here," Marlene said, pressing her wand against Sirius' wrist and cleaning the blood from his skin before conjuring a bandage.

"Thanks," Sirius said. His voice was hoarse from crying.

"I don't want to do any more than this. I don't know any proper healing charms. You'll have to get Lily to do it tomorrow," Marlene said as she repeated the process for Sirius' other arm.

"This is fine," Sirius said. He waited until Marlene had finished before speaking again. "Look, I don't know how much you saw...but he's a good kid. I don't want you to think he's like the rest of them. He isn't. He just got sucked into all of it. It's my fault, I shouldn't have..."

Marlene reached out and put her hands either side of Sirius' face, shuffling closer to him

"Shush. It's not your fault."

"It is. I..."

Marlene didn't know what made her do it. She had been planning to interrupt Sirius again, and tell him he couldn't have changed anything, but she found herself leaning closer to him and pressing her lips against his.

Sirius didn't move, and Marlene pulled back almost immediately. She felt stupid. She knew that Sirius didn't want her. He had only been so close to her because he was hurt. She shouldn't have done anything. She was supposed to be comforting him.

"I'm sorry," Marlene said.

She tried to stand up but Sirius grabbed her arm and turned her face back towards his. She felt a moment of confusion as she looked into his eyes, unable to read what was in them, but all her thoughts vanished as he kissed her again.

**A/N: Tell me what you think. What do you want to happen next? How do you think James will feel about everything? I really really appreciate all your feedback, and hey, maybe we can make it to 150 reviews :) xx**


	18. Beginnings

**Chapter Seventeen, November 1976**

Marlene woke up slowly, trying to savor the last few moments of sleep before she had to get on with her day. She kept her eyes closed for as long as possible. She was comfortable and warm, with somebody's arm around her.

She opened her eyes and slowly turned around, trying not to wake up the person cuddling her. Sirius looked beautiful while he slept, his dark hair pushed over his eyes and his cheeks red. Marlene wanted to stay with him but didn't want to suffer through the awkward conversation when he remembered what had happened.

She gently lifted his arm away from her waist and sat up, buttoning up the school shirt she had been wearing the previous evening and pulling on her jumper. It was still early. She'd easily have time to get back to the common room without anybody seeing her and questioning her about her whereabouts.

The door to the classroom creaked as Marlene pushed it open. She stayed still for a moment, checking that it hadn't woken Sirius, and then crept out of the room. She hoped that Sirius would wake up before anybody saw him. He had insisted that the classroom was no longer used and that they would be left alone, and in the euphoria of the night she had trusted him, but now that it was getting light she was worried about what people would say if they found out what had happened. She didn't want to be another one of those girls.

Since third year when the Marauders had discovered the opposite sex, Sirius had spent time with a different girl every week. He was a heartbreaker. Marlene had watched as a series of girls had tried to _change him_, and had raved about how they were _the one_ that could make him stay faithful. She knew how Sirius worked. He liked girls, he just liked himself more.

Sirius was not the type of guy to want a relationship, and Marlene hadn't wanted to be the type of girl who hoped to change that.

Marlene cursed under her breath. She had been an idiot. She shouldn't have gone into the classroom with Sirius. She should have just gone to bed. She didn't want to be one of _those girls, _hoping that he'd notice her, desperately wishing to be more than a one night stand.

She tiptoed into the dormitory, dropping her shoes next to her bed and creeping over to Alice's bed. She sat down at the edge of the mattress and reached out to shake Alice, covering her mouth quickly when she opened her eyes to stop her making a noise. Alice yawned and raised an eyebrow.

"I need you," Marlene whispered, nodding towards the door.

Alice rubbed her eyes sleepily and sat up. She reached out to the side of her bed and picked up an old Quidditch hoody of Frank's.

"This better be good," Alice muttered under her breath as she held the door open for Marlene.

The two girls sat down by the fireplace. Alice flicked her wand at the coals and a fire started. They pulled the sofa nearer the flames to keep warm. Marlene was still in her school uniform from the day before and was shivering.

"Am I about to find out why you never came back to the dorm last night?" Alice said, picking up a cushion and hugging it to her chest.

"Um, yes."

"And I'm assuming, given that you've not invited Lily to be present for this confession, that you've done something stupid?"

"That sort of depends on your definition of stupid."

"Something Lily would never do."

"Oh. Yeah, then."

"Excellent. Tell me everything."

"Erm."

"Spit it out, Marly. It's four in the morning and you've woken me up. I'm not in the mood to be patient."

"Ok, well, James came and got me last night."

"Oh yeah, Lily said."

"He wanted me to help him with Sirius. Sirius was having this huge fight with his brother. It was actually really scary. He mashed up both his hands punching the wall. I've never seen him so angry."

"What were they arguing about?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure his brother's joined the Death Eaters."

"Shit," Alice let out a low whistle. "Can't see Sirius taking that very well."

"He didn't."

"So if you were with James and Sirius, how come you've only just got back now?"

"Sirius was a real mess when his brother left. James thought he'd take it better if I tried to comfort him...something about James not being able to understand SIrius' family as well as I can. I don't know. I don't think I understand it very well, but yeah, I sat with Sirius."

"And..."

"He was really upset. Have you ever seen him cry?"

"Nah. Sirius doesn't cry."

"That's what I thought. Apparently he does now, though."

"Oh, Marly, you didn't..."

"Didn't what?"

"You didn't fall for it..."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's such a classic desperate girl move, thinking you can be the one to help him through a hard time by sleeping with him and assuming he'll love you for it."

"No. I didn't do that. Well, not because I thought it would help him."

"YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?"

"Sssssh. Merlin, Alice, tell the whole of Gryffindor why don't you?"

"Sorry," Alice said in a whisper. "You slept with him?"

"Yeah. I don't know what happened. I was sitting with him, and fixing up his hands, and suddenly we were kissing in the middle of the corridor."

"And?"

"And I said I should probably be getting to bed, but he held onto my hand and pulled me into a classroom, and it just...happened."

"Was it any good?"

"Alice!"

"What? It's not like I'm going to get a chance to sleep with him. I just want to know how he is."

"I'm not telling you that."

"How does he compare to Amos Diggory?"

"That's not really a fair comparison. With Amos we were both horribly drunk and neither of us had done it before. It was never going to be good."

"But Sirius?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, go on. Please? If you had to give him a mark out of ten..."

"Ten," Marlene said with a smile that quickly vanished from her face. "But that doesn't matter. It's not like it's going to happen again. I'm such an idiot."

"What makes you say that?"

"It's Sirius Black, Alice. When has anyone ever been more than a one night stand for him?"

"But you're one of his best friends. Maybe it'll be different this time."

"I don't think so."

"What did he say this morning?"

"I don't know. I left before we had to talk about it. But seriously, Alice, can you see him wanting anything real with me?"

"Not really." Alice bit her lip. "I'm sorry, Mar, but I think you're probably right. I'd love for you guys to get together, but it would definitely be a first."

"Yeah. That was pretty much my thinking."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Um...avoid him like dragon pox?"

"That sounds like the sensible and mature thing to do."

"You know it."

"Can I go back to bed now? We've got three and a half hours till breakfast."

"Sure."

"I love you, Marly. Don't be upset about it. It'll all sort itself out."

"I hope so, and Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Lily anything."

Alice laughed and gave Marlene a mock salute before heading back up the stairs to the sixth year dormitory. Marlene watched the fire for a minute. She wanted to change out of her uniform but didn't want to risk Lily waking up and interrogating her. Lily was one of her best friends but wasn't who she wanted to talk to about this.

Marlene sighed and stood up. She hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, and turned around, tiptoeing up the stairs to the boy's dormitories instead. She pushed the door open without making a sound, and rummaged through the pile of clothes by James' bed to find a T-shirt. She peeled off her uniform and pulled a Tutshill Tornados top over her head, keeping her tights on as she crawled into bed next to James.

James opened his eyes and put his arm around her.

"You alright, Mar?"

"Yeah. I just missed you."

"Mm, kay," James said, holding her closer for a hug and closing his eyes again. Marlene snuggled into his chest and smiled as he kissed her head. She didn't need to think about Sirius right now. She had James, and that meant everything would be okay.

* * *

"What the fuck, Prongs?"

Marlene pressed her face further into James, trying to ignore Peter's voice.

"At least close your curtains if you're going to bring a girl back." Remus' words were punctuated with yawns.

James hugged Marlene and stroked her hair.

"Keep your voices down. It's just Marlene."

"What the hell is Marlene doing in your bed?"

Marlene felt strangely satisfied that Sirius sounded so cross to discover her in his dorm. It suggested that he had at least some feelings for her, at least enough to care if she was with his best friend.

"I dunno. She came in a couple of hours ago. She didn't want to be by herself."

Sirius' breathing was loud. He took a while to reply, and when he did his voice was gruff and he sounded embarrassed.

"Right. My mistake. Sorry, Prongs...Marly. I'm going to breakfast. Pete, come with me. I'll see you guys there."

James groaned and buried his face in Marlene's hair. "Alright, sweetheart. Much as I've enjoyed having you here, I think it's probably time for you to go back to your own dorm and get changed."

"No," Marlene pulled the quilt over their heads so they were completely in the dark.

"Come on, Mar. I'm hungry."

Marlene didn't say anything and James started to tickle her. She squealed and fell out of the bed. James laughed as she sat up and rubbed the back of her head, glaring at him. Remus shook his head in bemusement. He was already dressed and was packing his bag for the day.

"Here, take the cloak," James said, throwing her the silvery piece of fabric.

"Why?"

"What do you think people are going to think if they see you leaving our dorm wearing my shirt in the morning?"

"Fine. Meet me in the common room in fifteen mins?"

"I'll be there."

Marlene picked up the cloak, ruffled Remus' hair as she walked past, and then pulled the cloak around her. The common room was almost empty but she was glad James had given her the cloak.

When she opened the door to the girls' dormitory, Alice and Lily looked up. Mary and Samara had already left for breakfast. Marlene took off the cloak and Lily jumped.

"Where have you been?" Lily said, looking critically at the T-shirt and tights Marlene was wearing. "Alice said you woke up early to go and get some homework done."

Marlene looked at Alice. Alice looked embarrassed and gave a small shrug.

"I was with James. I was going to work but I felt like a hug."

"Okay. Hurry up and get changed. We were about to go down to breakfast."

"I said I'd meet James in a minute. You go without me. I'll catch up."

Lily looked a bit offended, but gestured to Alice to leave the room. Marlene felt guilty. She knew it upset Lily when she felt like James was being chosen over her, but it was difficult to avoid it. James was her oldest friend. He had known her longest and knew what she needed. It would be easier if Lily and James got on better. Lily was convinced that James was arrogant and shallow, and it meant she didn't give him a chance.

Marlene waved at her friends as they left, and then had a quick shower. She didn't bother putting any make up on other than her lipstick, and left her hair loose once she'd dried it. She managed to get dressed and out of the dorm in time to meet James, who was lounging in an armchair with his eyes closed.

"James," Marlene said, poking his arm with her wand. He opened his eyes and gave her a lazy grin, getting up and dropping his arm around her shoulders.

"Lilyflower not joining us?"

"No, she actually left more quickly when I mentioned that I was meeting you."

"Ah well. It's never too late to keep trying."

"You keep telling yourself that, Jamie."

When they reached the Hall, James started to make his way over to where the rest of the Marauders were sitting. Marlene grabbed his hand and held him back.

"Can we sit somewhere else today?"

"What? Why?"

"I'm just not in the mood for Sirius."

"Did something happen last night after I left? Did he say something?"

"No, nothing like that. Um, I just feel like spending some time with my best guy," Marlene said with a hopeful smile.

James laughed and they sat down in two seats away from everyone else.

"Alright, but now you've said that I'm not leaving you alone for the rest of the day."

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

"Marlene, can I talk to you for a sec?" Emmeline stood at the edge of Marlene's desk after Transfiguration. Her long hair was up in a messy bun, secured with a red ribbon. Her skirt was short and she had too much eye make up on. She looked beautiful, as always, but also worried.

James had been waiting for Marlene at the door. He had taken her seriously when she'd said she wanted to spend time with him. They'd spent lunch and their free periods together, and walked with each other to each of their lessons. It had been nice to see him, and had helped Marlene in her mission to avoid Sirius Black.

"Um, sure. Let me just tell James he can go on without me. I said I'd spend the evening with him."

Marlene gave James a quick hug, promising she'd find him in the Common Room later on, and watched him as he ran to catch up with Remus and Peter. She turned back to Emmeline.

"What's wrong?" Marlene was confused by why Emmeline would want to talk to her. She seemed nice, and they got on okay, but Emmeline was much closer to both Alice and Lily, and had her own friends in Ravenclaw if she needed help.

"I have a problem and I think you can help me out. Can you come with me?"

"Yeah, of course. Why do you think I'll be able to help, though?"

"I just have a feeling."

"Okay." Marlene followed Emmeline out of the room and down the corridor. They had been walking for about five minutes when Emmeline stopped and turned to her.

"Look," Emmeline said. "Don't be angry with me. He begged. Literally, he got on his knees and begged."

"What are you..." Marlene started to speak but stopped when she saw who had come around the corner.

"Thanks, Em," Sirius said. Emmeline smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before waving at Marlene and skipping away.

"She is something else," Marlene said, shaking her head. "Right. I'm just going to...go."

"No, wait." Sirius reached out and held Marlene's arm. "You've been avoiding me all day. Please, just hear me out."

"I don't want to, Sirius. I don't need you to hurt me. We can just pretend none of this happened."

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes. I don't want to be another one of your girls. I'm not going to be someone for you to have sex with when you feel like it. That's not me."

"I know it's not."

"So let me go. We both know that's all you want from me, and I can't keep giving it to you. Just leave me alone."

"What do you mean, that's all I want from you?"

"Oh, come on, Sirius. That's all you want from anyone. I'm not sure you're even capable of anything more. You don't want a relationship."

"Maybe I do."

"What?"

"Maybe I want something more."

"You can't do this. You can't send your snog buddy to come and get me so you can give me this rubbish."

"Don't be rude about Em. She's a good friend."

"I'm sure that's not all she wants to be."

"It is. She knows how I feel about you."

"And how do you feel about me?" Marlene watched Sirius trying to figure out an answer, angry with herself for how hopeful she felt.

"I...I don't know. This is all new for me."

"I'm just going to go. I said I'd meet James."

"No. Stay, please. I really like you, Marly." Sirius stepped closer to her.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I think, if it's alright with you, I'd like to give us a go."

"Give us a go?"

"Yeah."

"What in the name of Merlin does that mean?"

"It means, Marlene McKinnon, that if you'd like, I would love to be able to call you my girlfriend."

"But you never have girlfriends."

"I know."

"I don't want to get hurt."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Can we take it slow?"

"I think it's a little bit late for that," Sirius smirked, but his expression softened as he looked at Marlene. "But sure, we can try."

"I don't know, Sirius."

"Please?"

"I'm scared," Marlene looked up at him. He reached out and touched her cheek.

"Don't be. I won't hurt you, I promise. I've got good incentive not to."

"And what might that be?"

"James. He's scary when he's angry. Come on, let me take you on a date, and then you can decide."

"Okay. Next Hogsmeade weekend?"

"I was thinking more like, right now." Sirius took her hand and led her up the stairs at the end of the corridor, stopping when they reached the seventh floor.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," Sirius said, stopping in front of a tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Marlene stood still and watched Barny trying to train trolls in ballet, trying to ignore Sirius pacing up and down.

"Sirius? What are you doing?"

"This," Sirius said. "Here, through this door."

Marlene turned around and frowned. She was sure that the door in front of Sirius hadn't been there before. She looked at Sirius and he shrugged, opening the door for her. She stepped through and blinked. They were outside. The trees around them were filled with fairy lights. There was a gate in front of her, and beyond the gate were huge metal contraptions, twisted around in bright colours.

"Where are we? What is this place?"

"Room of Requirement. It turns into whatever you want it to," Sirius said, reaching for her hand. "This is a funfair."

"A what?"

"A funfair. Muggles have them. They're full of rides. My cousin Andy took me to one when I was little. It's the best day I can remember. My parents were furious when they found out she'd taken me into the muggle world."

"I can imagine."

"Here. Get in this carriage," Sirius said, pointing to a small car on a track.

"Why?"

"You'll see. Just get in."

Marlene sat down and Sirius pulled a safety harness over her neck before sitting next to her. He pulled down his own harness and the car started to move.

"Sirius? What is this? Is it safe?"

"Of course it's safe."

"We're getting really high up."

"It'll be fine, Marly. The room gives you what you want. It won't have broken roller coasters."

"Roller whats?"

"Just enjoy it. We're about to go down."

Marlene screamed as the carriage rocketed down the track, only to be lifted up again and spin around upside down. Sirius laughed as she screamed. She momentarily let go of the handles on her harness to punch him, and then clenched onto the cold metal again.

When the ride finally came to a stop, Marlene was out of breath. The harness lifted up but she didn't climb out of the car.

"What did you think?" Sirius looked nervous. Marlene smiled at him.

"Let's go again."

* * *

"This has been amazing," Marlene said. She was lying with her head on Sirius' stomach, watching the stars twinkling above the fairground.

"Good," Sirius said. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Us. Can we give it a try?"

Marlene rolled over so she could see Sirius' face. She didn't know what was making her hesitate. Sirius had been a good friend to her recently, and she was sure he wouldn't be trying so hard if he didn't like her. They had helped each other through some hard times and he seemed willing to move at a pace she was comfortable with.

"Are you sure you want to?" Marlene held onto Sirius' hand, playing with the ring on his finger. His Uncle Alphard had given it to him and he never took it off.

"Of course I'm sure. Have you ever seen me put this much effort into getting a girl?"

"Well, you usually don't have to."

"It's true. It's a gift."

"What if it doesn't work? What happens to us then?"

"Then we go back to being friends, but I hope it'll work. I really like you, Mar. I have done for a while."

"How many other girls have you said that to?"

"Only you."

"And you promise it won't ruin our friendship?"

"I promise."

Marlene smiled and moved to lie with her face next to Sirius'. He watched her thinking, his brow furrowed. She leant her head against his shoulder and he kissed her forehead.

"Well, in that case," Marlene said, lifting her head to press a quick kiss against Sirius' lips. "I suppose I can't really say no."

* * *

James was building a card tower with Peter's exploding snap cards when Marlene and Sirius finally returned to the common room. Remus was next to him with his nose in a book, and Peter was watching nervously as James added more cards. Peter's face seemed dangerously close to the tower.

"Where have you two been? I was waiting for you at dinner," James said without looking up. He didn't sound annoyed. He was just giving all his attention to the expanding tower.

"Room of Requirement," Sirius said, sitting down on the sofa opposite James and beckoning for Marlene to join him. She lay down across the sofa with her head in his lap and he started to play with her hair.

"Oh, right. That explains why I couldn't see you on the map," James said.

"What map?" Marlene asked sleepily.

"It's a Marauder secret," James said.

"We'll tell you when you're older," Sirius said, grinning.

"And taller," James added. "Why were you in the room of requirement for so long?"

Sirius waited until James was about to put the next two cards down before speaking.

"We were on a date."

James jumped, dropped the cards and the whole tower exploded. He waited for the smoke to clear before glaring at Sirius, his eyebrows singed and his face black. Next to him, Peter was sporting burnt hair and a sooty nose.

"Sorry, Pete," Sirius said, lounging back on the sofa. "The opportunity was too good to miss."

"Wha...you two...what...when did this happen?" James looked gobsmacked. "What are your intentions, Black?"

"We're together," Marlene said, closing her eyes. "As of about an hour ago."

"Right," James said, standing up. "Get up. We're taking this outside."

Marlene groaned as Sirius got up, forcing her to move from his lap. Sirius bent down to kiss her quickly and she smiled.

"I'll be back soon."

James and Sirius left through the portrait hole and Marlene sat up to look at Remus.

Remus smiled reassuringly and passed her a bar of Honeydukes chocolate.

"They'll be fine. James just wants to have his protective older brother chat."

"But I've already got an older brother to do that. It's not fair on Sirius to have to go through it twice."

"James and Sirius are like brothers. Sirius is going to be alright. He will have been expecting this.

"James won't be angry with him?"

"Nah, not unless Sirius does something to hurt you. Don't worry about it, Mar. They'll be back in a minute. James wouldn't feel right unless he'd done everything he could to make sure you'll be happy."

"Okay," Marlene smiled and broke off a square of chocolate to put in her mouth.

* * *

**A/N: I know lots of you are keen to see what happens with Rosier. I haven't forgotten, I promise, but I'm planning for this story to carry on for quite a lot longer so you'll have to wait a little while more. Please please leave me a review to tell me your thoughts, especially all of you who've been favouriting and following my story. If you like it enough to want to read more it would be great if you gave me some ****feedback, it only takes a minute. xx**


	19. Happy Days

**Disclaimer: It doesn't belong to me**

**Chapter Eighteen, December 1976**

"You two need to break up already," Lily said, dropping her bag on the floor and lying down on top of her duvet.

Marlene stopped plaiting Alice's hair and looked over at Lily.

"Why? I thought you approved."

"I did, but you keep leaving me with Potter. He cornered me at dinner because I was sitting by myself while you were with Sirius. I only just managed to shake him off."

"You don't have to sit by yourself," Alice said, looking offended. "I was literally three seats down the table."

"Yeah but you were with Peter. I hardly know him."

"You should try talking to him. He's a sweetheart."

"Next time I will. Potter's insufferable. I had to scream at him before he'd leave me alone."

"Was that really necessary, Lil?" Marlene frowned at her friend.

"Yes. He kept telling me we were taking shortcuts back to the common room but it was obvious he was trying to walk under every piece of mistletoe around the castle. He's infuriating."

"He likes you. It's not a crime," Marlene said, going back to Alice's hair.

"He doesn't, though. He's just trying to make me look like an idiot."

"Lily, I've told you a million times and I'll tell you again, that boy loves you. You're hurting him."

"If he actually wanted to be with me he could ask me out like a normal person. He doesn't need to publicly humiliate me."

"To be fair," Alice said. "He's calmed down a lot. He hasn't embarrassed you in front of people for ages. Maybe he's growing up."

"He needs to grow up faster," Lily said.

Marlene sighed and didn't bother responding. She never knew how to manage Lily's disdain for James.

"Just avoid him if it bothers you this much," Alice said.

"I can't. That's the point. Now that Mar's with Sirius I seem to see him all the time. It's been such a stressful month."

"I'm sorry that my relationship's causing you so much trouble," Marlene said drily.

"Oh no, sweetheart. I didn't mean that. You two are adorable."

From across the room, Samara laughed. Lily looked over at her and asked what was funny, but Samara didn't respond. She had been sitting with Mary in the corner, not taking part in the conversation.

"Do you have something to say, Brookes?" Alice stood up.

"Nope," Samara said, popping the 'p'.

"That's strange. It sounded like you were finding our conversation funny."

"Not at all. It's just cute how you're talking about Marlene and Sirius like it's going to work."

"What?" Marlene was shocked. She knew that lots of girls had been disappointed by her relationship with Sirius. People were sceptical about how she had managed to persuade the infamous Sirius Black to commit to someone, and she knew more than one girl hoped they wouldn't last, but this was the first time somebody had said it to her face.

"Well, you're nothing special. I know Sirius. He just wants to experiment with being in a relationship. He's curious about what it likes. Soon he'll realise he prefers the bachelor lifestyle and he'll drop you as quickly as he picked you up."

"Sounds like someone's bitter," Alice said in a stage whisper. Lily giggled but Marlene didn't smile. Samara's words had bothered her.

"You're wrong," Marlene said. "He wants to be with me. He likes me."

"I don't doubt that...for now," Samara said with a smirk. "But we both know that what Sirius wants and likes changes very quickly, and when it does, I'll be there with him and you'll be alone."

"Sammy, stop," Mary said, giving her best friend a warning glance.

"I'm only telling the truth. She's going to end up unloved and by herself, and then she'll realise what an idiot she was to think someone like Sirius Black would be interested in someone like her."

"Now listen here, you skank," Alice said, looking furious. "I get that you're feeling a bit rejected right now, because Marlene managed to get what you've always wanted without even having to try, but you have no right to speak to my best friend like that. She is infinitely better than you will ever be, and I think we can see that clearly in the way that Sirius chose to be with her when he's never seen you as more than a plaything."

"I don't think you can speak to me like that when Sirius has never even considered looking at you. I suppose you can't really be surprised, though. Why would he? Marlene's the pretty one and Lily's the clever one. There's nothing left for you."

"I'm the scary one," Alice said. She flicked her wand and Samara's long braided hair started to fall out and cascade down onto the ground. "And I think you should learn not to upset me."

Samara screamed, picking up bits of her hair from the floor and touching her naked scalp in horror, tears streaming down her face.

"That was too far," Mary said, looking at Alice reproachfully.

Alice looked a little bit guilty but her face was still red with anger. She sat down on her bed and drew the curtains around her. Mary mumbled soothing words to Samara, promising that they'd go to the Hospital Wing in the morning and sort everything out.

* * *

"I wish I could have been there to see it," Sirius said as he stirred their potion. Marlene had just finished recounting the story of why Samara was wearing a large hat in class and Alice was in detention for the rest of term. James had insisted that Marlene and Sirius should sit together in most of their lessons now that they were a couple. It had been obvious that he just wanted Sirius to swap with Lily so he could spend some time with her, but Marlene and Sirius admired him for trying and were happy to sit with each other. Lily was less amused.

"It was horrible," Marlene said.

"It sounds like she deserved it."

"Alice thinks she did. She's not sorry at all. Hang on, we need to add the newt tails I think."

"Got them, how long do we leave it for?"

"Twenty stirs."

"Okay. I'll do it. Are you okay? She didn't upset you?"

"I don't know."

Sirius stopped stirring the potion to play with Marlene's fingers. He squeezed her hand and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Nothing she said was true."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Stop being silly. I can't even imagine not wanting you."

"You're cute."

"I'm not cute. I'm manly."

"Sure you are."

"I am. Anyway, even if I didn't want you I wouldn't want her. I'm not too keen on bald chicks."

"And just like that, you stopped being cute again. I thought it was too good to be true. Keep stirring. You're going to ruin it."

"Why don't you stir?"

"Because it's a man's job."

"Fair point. Are you going to come and see me over Christmas?"

"You're staying at the Potters'?"

"Yep."

"I expect so, then. I usually see James a lot over the holidays."

"Good. I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too. A bit."

"Marly, don't be mean. Have you got me a Christmas present?"

"Nah, I didn't think you'd want one."

"You're cruel. I think this is done. It looks the way Sluggy said it should."

"Don't ask me. Lily always did our potions."

"I think we're good. Go and have a look at Evans' cauldron to check it's the same as ours?"

Marlene laughed and wandered over to Lily and James' desk. Lily was concentrating fiercely on their potion while James tilted his chair back and blew in her ear. Remus sat behind them with Peter, shaking his head in bemusement at James.

"Lily. Move. I need to see if your potion looks the same as ours," Marlene said, pulling Lily away from her cauldron. She had been leaning over it as if to protect it from her partner.

"You could just swap seats again and I could help you. This is driving me crazy. Please don't make me sit with him anymore."

James looked offended and stabbed Lily with a quill. Lily glared at him.

"Okay, seriously? I can't handle him anymore. Mar, you should have pink spirals rising from the top. If they're there you've probably got the potion right."

"We had those. This is great. I managed to do a potion right without your help," Marlene said, smiling widely. She sat down on James' lap so she could stay and talk to Lily for a bit longer. They still had a few minutes of class and had finished their potions.

"I'm proud but kind of disappointed. I'd hoped you'd want me back as a partner," Lily said, still looking disgruntled about James. "The holidays can't come soon enough. I've had enough of him."

"But then you'll get home and have Petunia instead. Surely you'd rather take me?" James said, looking disappointed.

"Of course I would, but she's gone. Her and Vernon are married now. They're coming round for Christmas Day but apart from that I won't have to see her. I'm so excited. It's going to be a whole two weeks without Potter, Snape or Petunia."

"Sounds good, Lil."

* * *

The last week of term seemed to pass surprisingly quickly, and all too soon they were crammed into a carriage on the Hogwarts Express.

Marlene was cuddling into Sirius, resting her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed, trying to block out the sound of James singing 'God rest ye merry hippogriffs' at the top of his voice.

"Prongs, mate, I mean this in the nicest way possible, you can't sing for shit. Shut up," Sirius said, tightening his arm around Marlene as he spoke.

"You're just jealous," James insisted. "You wish your voice was as beautiful as mine."

"You live in your own little world, don't you Jamie," Marlene said.

"Yup. It's a happy place to be," James said with a grin.

"I'd love to know what goes on inside your head," Alice said, tilting her head to look critically at James, as if analysing him.

The carriage door opened and Lily came in, dragging Bertram Aubrey with her. Remus followed them, looking irritated, and sat down beside Peter. Alice, who had been leaning against Peter's other side, sat up straight and shuffled along to make space for Bertram. He didn't acknowledge her, and instead sat beside James on the other side of the carriage.

"Sorry. The prefect meeting overran. We were talking about increasing security for students going home for the holidays. The head girl wants us to prepare safety manuals in time for the Easter holidays," Lily said, sounding breathless.

"Our head boy thought we didn't need to take safety seriously," Remus said, scowling at Bertram. "It took a long time to persuade him that the fact we're in the middle of a war means we're in some danger."

Lily gave Remus a warning look and sat down on Bertram's lap.

"I didn't mean to suggest that we're not in danger. I simply thought there might be other things we should focus our energy on. If students are worried about their safety when they return home they have the option to stay at school. Protecting people outside Hogwarts shouldn't be our concern," Bertram said. He had his arm around Lily's waist and kissed her shoulder when he finished speaking. James glared at Bertram.

"People want to see their families, especially at the moment when they don't know if it might be the last time they see them. We should be helping them do it in the safest way possible," Remus said. His tone of voice suggested that this wasn't the first time he had made this point.

"Very few people are targets in this war, and those who are at risk know that they are and can make their own decisions about whether they want to leave the safety of school."

"But that's allowing yourself to be swept up by the prejudice of these people. You think it's fine if the muggle borns and blood traitors don't get to see their families because they're the minority. It's a dangerous mindset to get into."

"Well, they know that by taking the stand they do against You Know Who they are making themselves his enemies. They can expect to face the consequences."

"THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING," Remus shouted, interrupting Bertram's argument. "Your _girlfriend _is muggle born, and you're saying that by _choosing _her blood she's asked to be made a target. You're idiotic. It's people like you that have let this war reach the status it has."

"Are you accusing me of..."

"Yes, I am. You're a bigoted moron, and I don't know what Lily sees in you."

"That's enough, Remus," Lily said. Her voice was calm but Marlene knew she was angry and trying not to make a scene. "You're putting words into his mouth. Come on, Bertie. Let's find another compartment."

Lily and Bertram stood up and Lily left the carriage. Bertram turned back to Remus before following her.

"You should be careful, Lupin. If you carry on the way you are you're going to upset some very powerful people."

Remus stood up, but Bertram walked out the door before he could speak. Remus slammed the doors shut and sat back down, his arms crossed tightly.

"Well," James said with a grin. "I suppose you all agree with me now that we hate Lily's boyfriend?"

* * *

"Jack," Marlene squealed, running at her brother and throwing her arms around him. He spun her round once in the air before setting her back on her feet.

"Thanks, Mar. It was a pleasure to carry your trunk off the train for you," Sirius said, arriving next to her with both her trunk and his, Marlene's owl perched precariously on top of her trunk.

"That's not problem," Marlene said teasingly, kissing Sirius' cheek.

"Good to see you have him under control," James said. "Hey Jack."

"Hey. I've been meaning to talk to you. Have you given Sirius the I-will-kill-you-if-you-cause-my-sister-pain talk?"

"Yup," James said proudly.

"Do I need to do it again? Did you scare him?"

James said yes at the same time as Sirius and Marlene both said no.

"Right," Jack said. "I'll make this quick then. I like you, Sirius. You're the best beater I ever had on my Quidditch team, and I think you'll be good for my sister."

"Jack, shut up," Marlene said.

"Be quiet, Marly. This'll only take a second. Sirius, I'm training to be an auror. I am a highly qualified dueler and know spells you couldn't even imagine. Don't make me use them."

"I won't," Sirius said with a gulp.

"Are you finished?" Marlene said, glaring at her brother.

"Yeah, I think so. Shall we head home? Mum and Dad are out for some Ministry thing I thought we could go and get Fish and Chips."

"Sounds perfect."

Marlene stood on tiptoes to kiss Sirius and whispered that she'd see him soon. He looked sad to say goodbye, but she watched James pat him on the back and was sure that they'd be fine.

* * *

"You and Sirius seem happy together," Jack said, unwrapping his chips from the newspaper that surrounded them. They sat together on a bench in the park near their house.

"Yeah. It's been going really well. James is still a bit unsure about us but he took it as well as could be expected."

"He'll get over it. He's probably worried you'll forget about him. You're his two best friends, it can't be easy."

"I know. He doesn't mind. He knows I'm happy."

"I'm glad," Jack said, hesitating before his next words. "I have something to tell you, two things, actually."

"Yeah?" Marlene put a chip in her mouth and looked at him expectantly.

"Yeah. You want the news you'll like or the news you won't like?"

"Um, start with the news I won't like."

"Okay. I'm going on an Order mission after Christmas." Jack looked at the floor, waiting for Marlene to respond. She frowned and put her chips down on the bench next to her, reaching for Jack's hand.

"Is it dangerous?"

"They haven't given me details yet, but probably, and it's going to be for quite a long time."

"Do you have to go?"

"No, but I want to."

"But..."

"No, Marly. I need to do this. I can't keep watching all these terrible things happening without trying my hardest to stop them. It's not how I work."

"Promise you'll come back?"

"I can't promise, Mar, but I'll try my very hardest."

Marlene stared at her hands, scrunching up her eyes in a futile attempt to stop them filling up with tears. She had known that Jack would volunteer for anything that would help his cause, but it didn't make it any easier to accept now that he was putting himself into such danger.

She didn't say anything for a long time. Jack squeezed her hand and she tried to ignore the tears now trickling down her cheeks. Eventually, she brushed the water away from her eyes and looked back at her brother.

"You said there was news I'll like as well?"

"Yes. Okay, don't get too excited, but I've met a girl."

"You have? What's she like? Will I know her?"

"You don't know her, but I'd like you to meet her. She's in the Order. She's away on a mission at the moment but next time you're home I'll introduce you. I think she might be the one."

"Tell me everything. This is great. I never thought I'd see the day when you grew up and fell in love."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment. She's beautiful. She has the most wonderful laugh. She can't cook for shit but I eat everything she puts in front of me because it makes her smile and I'd do anything to see her smile. She's clever, much cleverer than me. She was the year above me at school but I never really spoke to her until we both joined the Order. She was in Ravenclaw. She's an only child and persuaded her parents to move back to France when she realised this war was getting serious. She's the most caring person I've ever met and I'm pretty sure I couldn't stop loving her if I tried."

"Aw, Jack," Marlene smiled. "What's her name?"

"Dorcas. Dorcas Meadowes."

* * *

**A/N: I know this is a bit fillery but I'm going on holiday and wanted to get an update in before I leave. I'll be away for the next few weeks without my computer so won't be writing I'm afraid. Leave me lots of lovely reviews to come back to? Again, to all the people who keep following and favouriting without reviewing, it would be really appreciated if you could take a moment to give me some feedback. It's frustrating to know people are enjoying my writing without hearing anything from them (although I'm still very grateful that you've taken the time to read) xx**


	20. Holidays at Home

**Disclaimer: Still not mine**

**Chapter Nineteen, December 1976**

_Dear Lily,_

_I hope your holidays are going well so far. How was introducing Bertram to your parents? James has been hoping it went badly. I haven't seen him much but we write to each other all the time._

_Thanks for inviting me to stay. It would be really great to see you and Alice but I think I'm going to have to pass this time. Jack's going away straight after the holidays. It sounds quite dangerous and he says he'll be fine but I want to spend as much time with him as possible. I'm sure you understand._

_I'm sending some money with this to help pay for Alice's Christmas present. The bag you described sounds really nice. Let me know if I haven't sent enough for my half of it. I'm a bit worried about what to get Sirius. Do you have any ideas? Also, just a heads up, James has been putting a lot of effort into finding you the perfect present. I know you don't usually give him anything but it might be nice to this year, just something small._

_Okay, I need to go now. Mum's making me go to some horrible dress fitting so that I have something 'suitable' to wear on Christmas Day. I don't see why it matters. It'll just be the four of us. None of them should care what I wear._

_I'll write to you soon._

_Lots of love,_

_Marly xx_

* * *

_James,_

_Don't think I didn't notice my depleted chocolate frog stash. I knew you hadn't come round just to borrow my Potions textbook._

_You owe me snacks,_

_Mar xx_

* * *

_My dearest Marlene,_

_I miss you so much. You are the light in my heart and my whole world is darkness without you. I wish that I could fly to you and confess the depth of my feelings by the light of the moon. I cannot wait much longer to hold you in my arms._

_I love you, forever and always,_

_Sirius xxxxx_

* * *

_MAR,_

_THAT LAST LETTER WAS NOT FROM ME. Fucking Prongs thinks he's hilarious. He found some charm that lets him copy my handwriting. I like to think you would have realised it didn't sound like me but Prongs is still rolling around on the floor in hysterics so I thought I'd just check. _

_That said, I do miss you a bit. Have you spoken to your parents about me coming round for dinner? _

_Love,_

_Sirius x_

* * *

_Marlene my darling,_

_Without you here by my side, I can feel my very soul cracking into a thousand pieces. I am an empty shell without the person that makes my heart continue to beat._

_Come back to me my love._

_Always yours,_

_Sirius xxxxxxx_

* * *

_James,_

_You're less funny than you think you are. Please could you stop sending me letters pretending to be my boyfriend and spend your time helping me find a Christmas present for said boyfriend instead. I'm getting stressed. What do you buy Sirius Black? You better have some good suggestions or I'll just give him the present I got for you and you can go without._

_I miss you. Send love to your parents._

_Marly xx_

* * *

_Dear Mar,_

_Holidays are great. It's been so lovely and quiet in the house without Petunia. My parents loved Bertie. I was a bit worried about them meeting, especially after what happened on the train (have you spoken to Remus since then? I hope he's not annoyed with me, but he really was being unreasonable), but they all got on really well. Mummy didn't have a bad word to say about him, and even Daddy seemed happy. I think because they're muggles and don't have a prejudice against Slytherin house they are more willing to see the best in him, while Remus insists on reading into every little thing he says and tries to turn it into something it doesn't need to be._

_I understand completely about Jack. Don't worry about it. Enjoy all your brother/sister bonding stuff and we'll see you back at Hogwarts. Alice is here now. She says sorry for not writing. She broke her wrist punching a muggle guy that told her she was beautiful. Her Mum's refusing to let her get it fixed by magic. She says she should deal with it the muggle way so she understands it's not okay to hurt people. She's fairly unamused but I think it's funny. _

_She sends lots of love and says you should buy yourself some sexy underwear and tell Sirius he can unwrap you as his Christmas present. She's standing next to me and stabbing me with a quill while I write this to make sure I include her suggestions. This doesn't mean I approve of them. She also says you could learn how to do something special with you mouth and..._

_Okay, I managed to confiscate her quill and am now free to write what I want without the violence of Miss Green. For Sirius, I'd recommend something Quidditch based. You can't really go wrong with Quidditch for the Marauders. If you feel like that's a bit impersonal, maybe try to find a book about something he likes? I know you think everyone except me hates reading, but if it's the right book it'll seem meaningful. I can almost hear you rejecting these suggestions as I write them but I standby my ideas._

_Enjoy Christmas._

_Love,_

_Lily_

* * *

_Dear Sirius,_

_Alice has broken her wrist and it means she can't write. Now, don't take this as permission to break any of James' bones, but if he were to have an accident that would mean he had to stop sending me letters pretending to be you that would be no bad thing._

_Are you around for dinner tonight? Sorry, I know it's short notice. I think my Mum's trying to test you by seeing how dedicated you are to this relationship. You need to wear dress robes but it'll just be Mum, Jack and the Prewett brothers so shouldn't be too intense. Dad's got to work. I hope you can come._

_Marly xx_

* * *

_Marly,_

_I'll be there. I left all my dress robes in Grimmauld Place and don't much fancy going back to get them but can borrow some of James'. He's very offended not to be invited._

_See you later,_

_Sirius x_

* * *

_Mar,_

_I dunno what you can get Padfoot. Chocolate? Everyone likes chocolate, and we've run out of your chocolate frogs so he could probably do with some more._

_I've figured out the perfect present for Lily. I got her a book (yup, I actually went into a bookshop). It's about types of magic that go deeper than wandwork. There's a whole chapter on the power of love. Be proud of me. _

_See you soon,_

_J x_

* * *

Marlene pointed her wand at James' letter and smiled in satisfaction as it burnt into flames. Strictly speaking, she was still underage and so should not be performing any magic at all outside of school, but it was a simple spell and her house was so full of magic already that she doubted it would cause any problems. She was bored. Her parents were worried by the war and hadn't allowed her to leave the house alone, fearful for her safety. She understood. It was only because of her that they had joined the Order. She needed to respect the consequences.

"Marly."

She looked up and smiled at Jack, who was leaning against the doorframe. He looked tired. He had been working late the last few nights, taking part in raids of the homes of suspected Death Eaters. He insisted that it wasn't really a dangerous job. He was with experienced teams, and the houses were usually empty, but the exhaustion was starting to take its toll. The Auror department was running with depleted numbers of workers, and couldn't train new aurors as quickly as they were losing old members. Jack didn't mind the intensive working hours. He wanted to do his bit for the war, but Marlene was worried about him.

"You're up early," Marlene said, stacking the letters on her desk into a pile and putting them away in the top drawer. "I didn't hear you get back last night. I thought you'd be in bed till lunch."

"I'm not working tonight so I'll sleep then. I felt bad for not spending time with you. You've stayed at home to see me before I go on my mission. I thought we should do something today. Mum and Dad are both at work."

"What did you have in mind? You look like you're about to collapse. Are you sure you don't want to sleep?"

"Don't be silly. We can sleep when we're old. Diagon Alley? I need you to help me find Dorcas a Christmas present."

"Okay. Give me a minute to find some money and my coat."

"It's been snowing. Wrap up warm."

* * *

Marlene emptied her purse onto the counter, counting out every last knut to pay for the knife. It was more money than she had planned to spend on Sirius, but she knew it was the right present to give him. It was a knife with special attachments designed to unlock any door and untie any knot. She felt sure that he'd appreciate a present he could use, and the knife would help him with pranks at school and hopefully with the auror training he wanted to begin after Hogwarts. Jack said it would be the kind of thing he'd take on missions, and Marlene felt pleased with the choice.

"Right, so we just need to get Dorcas something and then we can go and get a Butterbeer in the Leaky Cauldron?" Jack added a sickle to Marlene's pile of coins and passed them to the hunchbacked witch behind the counter, who started to count them out again to check it was enough money.

"Sounds good. Where do you want to go?" Marlene pulled her gloves out of her pockets and put them on, picking up the bag containing the knife and thanking the witch for selling it to her.

"There's that jewellery shop next to Madam Malkin's. I thought I might get her a bracelet and add some protective charms to it to keep her safe. You're a girl, though. You can tell me what's nice."

"I can try my best."

Marlene followed Jack into the shop, welcoming the warmth from inside. The shop assistant was extremely pretty, and looked like she could only be a couple of years out of Hogwarts. She gave Jack a huge smile and immediately started to question him about what he wanted, offering to help him out. Jack didn't seem to realise that she was flirting, and happily started to discuss his plans for Dorcas' Christmas present. Marlene shook her head at his ignorance, and went to wait for him outside. Jack had never noticed the way girls looked at him.

"MARLY!"

Marlene looked up at the sound of her name, and grinned when she saw Remus across the snow covered street. He waved at her and crossed the road.

"Hey, Remus," Marlene said, giving him a quick hug. "How are you? You look like you've been ill again."

"It seems like I always am." Remus sounded tired but continued to smile. "But I'm a lot better now. Just finishing off my Christmas shopping."

"Same. How have your holidays been?"

"Oh, they've been okay. I've not really done a lot," Remus said. He was focussing on something behind Marlene. She knew he was trying to look casual, but hadn't missed the way his body had tensed up as he spoke.

She spun around, although Remus grabbed her arm to stop her, and felt her stomach drop at the sight of Rosier. He was walking with two other boys she recognized as being Slytherins from the year above them at school, but he stopped when he saw her. He said something to the boys, who laughed and shoved him towards her.

"Back off, Rosier," Remus said, his voice firm but quiet. "We told you not to come near her again."

"Does your boyfriend know you're out with this loser?" Rosier raised an eyebrow at Marlene. His tone was light and friendly, but she recognized the sinister coldness in his eyes and had to suppress a shudder.

"Leave us alone," Marlene said, taking a step back.

"Now where would the fun be in that?" Rosier took out his wand and pointed it at Marlene, looking thoughtful. He moved slowly but it didn't make his action any less threatening. Marlene regretted wearing gloves. She wouldn't be able to get her wand out of her pocket quickly enough.

"We're in a public place. You can't do anything here. Why don't you go back to your friends?" Remus sounded calm and Marlene was grateful for his presence.

"Look around you, Lupin. Who's going to stop me?"

Remus pulled out his own wand, pointing it at Rosier's chest. Rosier let out a low hiss and turned his aim from Marlene to Remus.

"Stop. This is ridiculous," Marlene said, crossing her arms tightly in an attempt to warm up.

"No, McKinnon. I don't think it is. Somebody needs to teach you filthy blood traitors to stop marching around like you're as good as the rest of us," Rosier said with a sneer.

He flicked his wand at Remus and Remus let out a gasp of pain. A deep gash had opened up on his hand, forcing him to drop his wand. Marlene felt sick as she watched the blood gush from his hand, staining the snow beneath him scarlet.

"STOP IT," Marlene screamed, struggling to pull her own wand out of her pocket. "What's WRONG with you?"

"What's going on? Stand back. I'm an auror."

Marlene sighed with relief at Jack's voice. He had left the shop, carrying a paper bag with Dorcas' Christmas present inside it. He stepped towards them and Rosier took a step back.

"I was just leaving," Rosier said, turning back to the Slytherin boys who were waiting at the end of the street.

Jack looked like he was torn between following Rosier and checking that Marlene was okay, but stayed where he was.

"We should get out of here. We've got everything we came for," Jack said, before turning to Remus. "It's Remus, right? We'll take you home first. You shouldn't be out by yourself, especially now the Death Eaters know about your..."

Remus shook his head urgently at Jack, who stopped talking.

"Well, none of us should be out by ourselves," Jack continued, although Marlene was sure that wasn't what he had been going to say. "Here, I'll fix your hand."

Jack tapped Remus' hand with his wand, and held it there as the skin joined back together, leaving a pale, shiny scar. Remus thanked him and bent down to pick up his wand, before Jack grabbed his arm as well as Marlene's hand, spinning on the spot.

"Remus! Goodness, you gave me a fright. You don't usually apparate."

A small, blonde woman hurried towards them where they stood in a garden. She was wearing a floral apron, and something about the kindness in her eyes made it clear she was Remus' Mother. Remus looked embarrassed, but Marlene smiled at her.

"Remus and Marly got into a spot of trouble with some school friends in Diagon Alley," Jack said, reaching out to shake Mrs Lupin's hand. "I'm Jack, Marlene's brother. I thought I should get him back safely."

"Thankyou, dear. That's very kind of you. Would you like to come in for a cup of tea? I've got apple crumble in the oven that'll be out in five minutes."

"That's very kind of you, but I think Marlene and I should be getting home," Jack said.

"Bye, Remus," Marlene said, touching Remus' shoulder. "I'm sure I'll see you soon. Enjoy Christmas."

* * *

"Where is this boy?" Marlene's Mother looked stern. She refilled her wine glass and watched Marlene, waiting for an answer.

"He's only five minutes late. He'll be here. And since when is Sirius 'this boy'? You've met him loads of times," Marlene said, taking a gulp of her own wine.

"We have invited him into our home. He could at least have the decency to be on time."

"Give him a break, Mum," Jack said. "You're nice to these two and they're hardly ever on time." He nodded towards Gideon and Fabian Prewett, who were sitting across the table.

"It's true. Mother despairs. She's bought us hundreds of pocket watches over the years but it hasn't made a difference," Fabian said, grinning.

The doorbell rang and Marlene jumped up to answer it. Her Mother frowned at her and gestured for her to sit back down.

"The house elves will answer the door. Don't forget your place."

Marlene took a deep breath and drank the rest of her wine in one go. She caught Jack's eye and he grinned, taking her glass and refilling it.

"Sorry for my lateness. Mrs Potter wanted me to bring you this. She said she was going to bring it round herself but has been really busy. It took her a while to find it," Sirius said from the doorway. He held up a small black notebook.

"Ah. I've been wondering when she was going to get that to us. Dumbledore said he'd send it through her. Put it on the drinks cabinet and sit down. Dinner should be served in a minute."

Marlene's Mother sounded less cold than she had before Sirius' arrival. Marlene was relieved. Sirius sat down beside her and she gave him a reassuring smile.

"Is that details about your next mission?" Gideon asked Marlene's mother. "Beats me why he insists on writing it down. Surely that's an invitation for security to be breached?"

"You can't read it unless you're an Order member," Fabian said before anybody else could reply. "You know this, Gid. Dumbledore's not stupid."

"Sorry. It just seems like we're losing more people every day and not making a huge difference. I guess I'm looking for someone to blame," Gideon said, looking sad.

"You know who to blame if you need someone," Jack said, frowning. "It's obvious whose fault this war is, and it's not someone on our side."

"It's not just him, though, is it. He's dangerous by himself but it's only because so many idiots are willing to follow him that we're in this situation. We need to cut off his support before we can get rid of him, and that means carrying on hunting down these Death Eaters," Fabian said. "I know it feels like we're not succeeding, but it's the only way we can even begin to change anything."

"Yeah. Well, if I can go down and take a few of them with me, I'll die a happy man," Gideon said, raising his wine glass towards his brother.

"Don't say that," Jack said, watching Marlene as he spoke. She knew her distress would be visible on her face, and tried to rearrange her features to hide the sadness Gideon's words filled her with. "We don't want to go down at all."

"Ooo, good plan, Jack. We hadn't thought of that," Fabian said sarcastically.

"It's not a joke." Jack looked frustrated. "If you go in with that kind of defeatist attitude, how can you expect to make it out?"

"Sorry," Gideon said. "Didn't mean to dampen the mood. Look, ideally we'll all still be here in twenty years time, telling old war stories and getting drunk together, but in the very likely possibility that we're not, I'd like to think my death helped the people that are still around have a better life."

"Isn't that what everyone wants?" Sirius said, joining the discussion for the first time. "We're surrounded by all these deaths, and most of them are completely pointless. It's no longer important that we stay alive, it's just important that the fact we did live made a difference. Nobody wants to die without purpose. There's too much of that happening already."

"That's the worst things about this war," Marlene's Mother said. Her eyes were sad. "Watching what it's done to all you young people. You should be looking forward to the rest of your lives, and thinking about what you want from the future. When I was your age I was newly married and looking forward to starting a family. None of you think that far ahead anymore."

"Sure we do," Gideon said.

"Yeah, don't worry Mrs McKinnon. You should see our wine cellar. We're not leaving anytime soon...too much alcohol to get through. We want to make sure we have time to drink it all," Fabian said.

"I'm sure you do," Marlene's Mother said, wiping her eyes.

"We do think about the future, Mum. All the time. I was looking at engagement rings today," Jack said, smiling reassuringly at his Mother.

Marlene choked on the wine she had just poured into her mouth, and coughed for a few moments before she could speak. "You _what_?"

'Don't get too excited. I didn't buy one. I just had a look," Jack said, finishing his own glass. "You know, for when the time comes."

"Well, don't get ahead of yourself. I've not met this girl yet," Marlene's Mother said, returning to her usual stern voice. "We don't know that she's an appropriate match for our only son."

"You'll love her," Gideon said earnestly. "She's amazing. Seriously, I'll marry her if Jack doesn't."

"You will do nothing of the sort. Your poor Mother's had plans for your marriage since you were just a boy."

"Not anymore. Good old Andromeda Black. She's eloped with a muggle born, so she's not really on the market anymore. It's a shame, really. Now I know she's done that I think we might have got along pretty well after all. I didn't need to make such a fuss about the engagement for all these years."

"Goodness. I expect Druella's broken hearted. She so wanted all her daughters to marry into the old families."

"My Aunt doesn't have a heart to be broken," Sirius said. He looked tense, and Marlene placed her hand on his knee under the table. "Dromeda did well to get out. She sent me an owl. She's happy for the first time in years."

"I'm not criticizing what she did. It'll affect her family badly though. They care so much for tradition."

"Any family that cares about tradition more than their children doesn't deserve to get what they want," Sirius said, stabbing at the food a house elf had put down in front of him.

"To be honest, I doubt they would have followed through with our engagement even if she hadn't run away," Gideon said. "Fab and I are well and truly on the blood traitor list, plus our Molly's a Weasley now, so she's made it pretty clear where the Prewetts stand in this war. I'm not sure there's much to be gained by marrying into our family."

They settled down to eat, the tense moment having passed. Marlene knew Sirius had been upset by the mention of the family he tried so hard to forget, and made sure to keep the conversation friendly for the rest of the meal. Sirius left soon after finishing eating, thanking them for their hospitality. Marlene turned to her Mother.

"You couldn't have made that a bit easier for him?"

Her Mother folded up her napkin carefully before answering.

"I don't like the way that boy looks at you. It's not healthy. You should both be concerned with your own safety, not focussing on somebody else."

Marlene struggled to find the right words to respond, but her Mother stood up and left the room.

"Don't worry about it, Marly. Don't listen to her," Jack said, taking their Mother's leftover pudding and helping himself. "Mother's only ever experienced relationships made up of manipulation and games. She doesn't understand what it is to care about someone for who they are rather than for what they can give you. Don't let anything she says change what you feel."

Gideon and Fabian stood up to leave, taking their coats from the house elf by the door. Marlene went to wave them off. Fabian stopped before leaving into the snow.

"You'll be fine, Mar. I know we weren't talking about particularly happy things tonight, but the way he looks at you...he's not going to let anything hurt you. I'm glad you've found somebody to keep you safe."

Fabian put his arm around her and gave her a quick hug, kissing her on the cheek before following his brother outside. Marlene pressed her fingers to the space on her cheek where his lips had brushed her skin and smiled. A few years ago, she would have tried to read something into the kiss, desperately wanting Fabian to return the feelings she thought she held for him, but now she recognized his affection for what it really was. Gideon and Fabian had been Jack's friends since before she was born. They always seemed shocked that she had grown up from the little girl they used to know, and she knew they wanted to look after her. If Fabian approved of Sirius, she knew their relationship was a good one.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I rushed this a bit but I felt bad for leaving you so long without an update. As I said last chapter, I've been on holiday without being able to write, so that's why I've not updated. Let me know what you think, especially your thoughts about the Prewett brothers. I'm enjoying writing them. Like Marlene, they're characters that Rowling doesn't really let us get to know enough, and I wanted to give them a bit more of a story. Review Review Review x**


	21. Lonely This Christmas

**Chapter Twenty, December 1976**

"Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin. We wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy Happy Happy New Year. One more time, Tonky. WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR."

Marlene pulled on a pair of slippers and a knitted jumper and padded down the stairs to find her brother. She stood at the door to the living room, watching him dancing around the Christmas tree with Tonky the house elf. Tonky had tinsel wrapped around her large ears, and Jack was spinning her round and forcing her to sing with him.

Tonky had always been Jack's favourite house elf. She would give him extra pudding when he was little, and always got rid of the damage he did to his clothes before their parents would see it. She was old now. The wrinkles in her skin had deepened, and she moved slowly, but Jack had refused to let their parents replace her.

"Let Tonky go, Jack. She doesn't want to dance with you."

"Sure she does. It's Christmas Day. She's going to sing and dance and decorate the tree with us and then we're going to make mince pies and have Christmas dinner together. You're excited, aren't you Tonky?"

"Yes, Master Jack," Tonky said, hanging a silver bauble onto the already ladened tree.

"You sound like you've been doing a lot of planning," Marlene said, stooping to pick up more decorations and starting to hang them on the tree.

"Of course I have. It's my favourite day of the year. We need to get it right."

"Mmhmm. Where are Mum and Dad? Shall we go and wake them up?"

Jack didn't say anything. Marlene put down the glittery lion bauble she was holding and looked at him. He chewed his lip and exchanged a glance with Tonky, who muttered something about hot chocolate and left the room.

"Jack? Are they still in bed?"

"Um, no," Jack said with a sigh. "They're not here, Mars. They said they had to work."

"But it's Christmas."

"I know."

They both stayed quiet, considering Jack's words. Marlene sighed and sat down on the sofa, fiddling with her hair. Jack stayed still for a moment before sitting down beside her.

"Well, this is a new low," Marlene said with a shaky laugh.

"They're trying, Mar. They're just not doing very well. They've spent so long focussing on being good pure bloods that they've forgotten how to be good parents."

"They've forgotten how to be good people, Jack," Marlene said, her breath catching in her throat as she spoke. "It's fine. It doesn't matter. We should probably have expected this."

"Nah, if there's one thing they're good at it's failing even to meet our very low expectations. Come on, get up. Let's open presents and drink hot chocolate with Tonky. We don't need them. We can enjoy today by ourselves. Plus this means we don't have to wear dress robes. We can have dinner in our pyjamas."

Marlene laughed but didn't really find anything funny. She threw Jack a present from under the tree and rummaged through the small pile to find something with her own name on it.

* * *

"Eat," Jack said, pretending to glare at Marlene until she put a roast potato in her mouth. He had insisted on pulling crackers and sitting in the Dining Room to eat the meal the house elves had prepared, even though it didn't really feel like Christmas at all.

"I've had enough," Marlene said once she had swallowed the potato. Her plate was still more than half full, and Jack sighed.

"Don't do this. You know it upsets me," Jack said. He put down his own cutlery to watch Marlene.

"I'm not doing anything. I'm just not hungry."

"You need to eat. Please. You're worrying me."

"Jack, it's one meal. Just leave it."

"What's going on? Are you still upset about Mum and Dad?"

"I'm fine."

"Is it something else? I saw you didn't get a present from Sirius."

"Stop it. Nothing's wrong. I'm going to go and sleep for a bit. I have a headache," Marlene said, standing up abruptly and leaving the room.

She felt guilty for snapping at Jack but didn't want to talk about Sirius. Usually, she wouldn't have minded so much about him forgetting to send her a Christmas present. She knew that he cared about her and didn't need to be given something to prove it, but she had allowed herself to feel hopeful that Sirius would be able to make up for her parents' absence. Jack had tried his best to make the day enjoyable, and she was grateful for his company, but it didn't eradicate the sting of her parents' rejection. She needed to know that somebody wanted her, and not hearing anything from Sirius had made it easy to doubt herself.

The door creaked open and Marlene wiped away the tears that had been gathering in her eyes. She managed a watery smile at Tonky, who had tiptoed through the door and placed a tray full of food next to where she sat on the bed.

"Missus Marlene? Mister Jack was telling Tonky to bring you a mince pie, Miss."

Tonky looked nervous and Marlene felt guilty for not making her feel more comfortable. She wished she could be like Jack, and make everyone around her relax in her presence. She tried to smile warmly, but doubted that Tonky had noticed. The elf continued to look at the floor, standing still and waiting to be dismissed.

"Thankyou, Tonky. That's kind of you. Your mince pies are the best I've ever tasted. I wish the elves at Hogwarts could cook as well as you," Marlene said, trying to keep her voice friendly.

"That's very kind, Miss. Is there anything else that Tonky can get for you?"

"No. I'm fine," Marlene said, hesitating before recognizing the coldness in her voice. "Thankyou. Why don't you go and see if Jack needs anything?"

Tonky looked relieved, and slowly backed out of the room as if waiting for Marlene to change her mind. Marlene smiled, feelings satisfied that she had managed to show kindness to the elf. She may not be as likable as her brother, but she didn't want to be like her parents.

She picked up the plate Tonky had brought in, and sat down on her bed with it next to her. She felt sick, and still didn't want to eat, but she knew that Jack had good reason for worrying. Whenever she had been upset in the past she had almost unconsciously stopped eating until she needed to be reminded to turn up to meals. Jack had always frowned at her and made sure she didn't make herself ill, but after her stay in the Hospital Wing at the beginning of the term she knew she needed to work harder to convince him that she could look after herself. Food didn't need to be a problem. The things that hurt her weren't related to the things she ate, and if she was going to stop letting her emotions affect her health she needed to start by stopping them from affecting her eating habits. She reached out and picked some pastry from the edge of the mince pie, placing it on her tongue and closing her mouth around it, trying to enjoy the flavor.

It took her at least twenty minutes to finish the pie, but by the time she had she felt more calm. She leaned back against her pillows and closed her eyes, wishing that the day had gone better.

Marlene didn't know how much time had passed, or when she had fallen asleep, but she woke up to a loud crash from outside her window. She stood up and opened the window, leaning out to see what had caused the noise.

"Sirius! What are you doing?" Marlene hissed out the window, her voice carrying down to where Sirius lay on the floor below. He was coated in leaves, and seemed to have torn down the vine that had previously been growing up the wall outside. Sirius looked up at her with a pitiful expression, feebly lifting one of his arms to demonstrate that he was too tangled up in the vine to move. Marlene rolled her eyes, closed the window and hurried down the stairs to reach him.

"You're so silly. Did you try to climb up to my window?" Marlene carefully unknotting the vines from around Sirius' arms and ribs. He reached out to stroke her cheek when his arm was free and she kissed the palm of his hand.

"I wanted to see you. I have a surprise for you," Sirius said, tucking his hand into Marlene's hair and stroking her neck with his thumb.

"Mmhmm," Marlene said, finishing unwrapping the vines from Sirius and letting him sit up and kiss her forehead. "And what was wrong with knocking on the door?"

"Your family would have heard. I thought your parents might not let me take you out. It's Christmas."

"That wouldn't have been a problem. Jack's the only one in the house anyway. He won't mind us going out."

"Well, now I feel like an idiot," Sirius said with a lazy grin. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her down into the grass to lie beside him.

"You should. You're ridiculous."

"But you like me anyway?"

"Hmm, I think you have potential."

Sirius made an indignant noise and pushed Marlene so that she rolled over. She giggled and he curled up behind her, his front against her back. He put one arm around her waist and let her lean on his other arm.

"Take it back," Sirius said, mumbling into her shoulder.

"Why should I?"

"Because otherwise you'll have to go without a Christmas present."

"That's mean," Marlene said, turning around again and pressing her forehead against Sirius'. "I want a present. I tried really hard with yours."

"I know you did. I love it. Thankyou," Sirius said. He kissed her nose and reached out to stroke her hair again.

"Sirius? Is that you? I thought I heard voices," Jack called from the front door. Marlene watched him put boots on and waited for him to join them in the garden. "Good to see you've cheered up, Mars. What are you two doing?"

"I was hoping I could take Marly out," Sirius said, easing his arm out from under Marlene's shoulders and sitting back up to look at Jack. He looked nervous, which surprised Marlene. Sirius and Jack had always been on good terms, and it was unusual to see Sirius looking nervous around anyone.

"Go for it," Jack said. "I'm going to meet Gideon and Fabian at the Leaky Cauldron anyway. Don't stay out too late. I'll see you later?"

"Of course," Marlene said. She took Sirius' hand and allowed him to help her up. "See you later, Jack. Sorry for upsetting you. It's been a lovely Christmas."

"You don't need to lie to me, Mar. I know it's been shitty, but hopefully Sirius can get it to finish on a good note."

Jack ruffled Marlene's hair and turned to go back to the house. Marlene looked up at Sirius with a questioning glance. She didn't know where he wanted to go, but she was glad to get away from the house.

"Come on," Sirius said, squeezing Marlene's hand. "It's not far."

Marlene followed Sirius to the end of the garden. She hesitated for a moment before entering the forest behind her house, but Sirius tugged at her hand so she continued to walk with him. She hadn't put shoes on before leaving her room and wished she had thought to go back and change. It was freezing and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to walk.

"Nearly there," Sirius said. Marlene suppressed her shivers and rushed to keep up with him. They walked for another minute, and then Sirius stopped abruptly. He put his hands on her shoulders, letting her look ahead of them both.

"It's beautiful," Marlene said, forgetting about the cold and staring at the clearing they had stopped at. A huge white tent was set up in the middle of the clearing, bathed in golden light with a wide opening allowing her to see inside to the silver plates heaped with different types of food, and the silk cushions surrounding them. The clearing was filled with flickering, tiny lights, and after a few moments she realised that they were real fairies, flitting around between the trees, apparently not feeling the winter chill on their tiny wings. Music was playing from somewhere, and she leant back into Sirius, allowing the tinkling piano notes to seep under her skin.

"Do you like it?" Sirius whispered into her ear.

"Of course I do," Marlene said, turning around and giving him a quick kiss. "Thankyou. You have no idea how much I needed this."

"Let's go inside. You're shivering," Sirius said. He looked concerned, and shrugged off his jacket to place it around her shoulders. Marlene smiled as she stepped into the tent and felt the warm air surround her. She didn't know what spells Sirius had found to get the temperature right, but she was grateful for it.

"How long did you spend on this?" Marlene sat down on a cushion on the other side of the tent to Sirius, gratefully taking the mug of hot chocolate he passed her.

"Long enough. I'm sorry I didn't send you anything earlier on. I thought I'd be ready to come and get you sooner, but Christmas dinner at the Potter's goes on forever. Happy Christmas," Sirius said. He reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small box which he passed her.

"You didn't have to. This is more than enough without anything extra."

"I wanted to get you something you can keep. Open it."

Marlene slid the lid from the box and lifted up the tissue paper inside. A tiny clock lay nestled in the middle of the paper, hanging on a thin golden chain. She took the clock out of the box and brought it close to her face to look at it. Often, magical clocks did more than simply tell the time, but the beauty of this one was that it was a simple clock. It had two golden hands and tiny, hand painted roman numerals around the edges. It looked like it didn't need to be wound up, which was common for wizarding watches, and the golden casing was intricately decorated.

"Is it okay?" Sirius' forehead was creased and he looked unsure. "James thought I should get you something more showy, but this made me think of you."

"It's gorgeous. Thankyou," Marlene breathed, shuffling closer to Sirius in the tent. Sirius reached out, lifting the clock from her hands and placing the chain around her neck. It hung down low, with the clock landing just above her belly button, and she tucked it under her shirt.

"It's unbreakable. You can use it forever...or, well, for as long as you want to," Sirius said. Marlene smiled and tilted her head upwards to kiss him. He tightened his arms around her waist, placing his hands on the small of her back under her jumper. She moved so that she was sitting on his lap, and wrapped her legs around his waist with her arms around his neck as he kissed her.

* * *

"Where have you been? Don't stand there looking at the floor. Answer me."

Marlene's parents had been waiting for her when she finally returned to the house. Jack wasn't home yet, and they had been furious to find the house empty. She looked up at her Mother and glared.

"I was out," Marlene said, going to push past her Mother to go upstairs. Her Mother grabbed her arm, her fingers digging into Marlene's elbow, and she stopped walking.

"Out where? Where could you possibly go? It's Christmas Day. You should have been here with your family."

"What? You and Dad weren't here."

"Well, when we returned we expected to see you."

The door opened and Jack stumbled in, supported by a laughing Gideon Prewett.

"Hey, Marly," Gideon said. "He had a bit more than one too many firewhiskys I'm afraid. He's been missing Dorcas. He thought drowning his sorrows was the appropriate way to deal with..." He stopped speaking when he saw Mrs McKinnon's glare, and quickly passed Jack to Marlene, who slumped a little under his weight. "Well, I'll just be going. Nice to see you, briefly. Happy Christmas." He sent Marlene an apologetic look before closing the front door behind him.

There was silence, as Marlene tried her hardest not to show how difficult Jack was finding standing straight, and their Mother looked at them both with intense disapproval. Something about the situation made Marlene want to laugh, but she held it in, not wanting to anger their Mother further. Her Father had shaken his head at her and gone straight upstairs to his office. It was always left to their Mother to deal with their misdemeanors, and there was no point making the situation worse than it already was.

"Wass goin' on," Jack slurred. Marlene winced at her Mother's expression, and adjusted her shoulders to balance Jack's weight more evenly.

"It's Christmas Day. I'm sure you understand the disappointment your Father and I felt when we arrived at what was clearly an empty house. The two of you have responsibilities towards your parents. We didn't raise you to behave like this." Their Mother moved the hem of her dress robes away from Jack, as if worried that he was going to damage them. Marlene watched him carefully and decided that it probably wasn't a bad idea. He looked pale and had a green tinge to his face, although his giddy smile was still in place.

"Well, Mother mine," Jack said, swaying slightly on the spot. "Tha's a very interesting ob..ob..wait." He swallowed. "Tha's a very interesting observation. Maybe...maybe we'd be different...if we hadn't spen' the day with a...hic...house elf instead of our...hic...parents."

"How _dare _you. Your Father and I have given everything to make sure the two of you live the kinds of lives we think you deserve. How _dare _you imply that your behaviour is our fault."

"I wasn't trying to imply anything. I was trying to tell you for..hic..a...hic...fact that it's your...hic...fault. If you weren't...such a terrible Mother I spec we'd be more like the children you wish you had."

Marlene watched as the colour drained from their Mother's face. She pressed one hand to her chest and stared in shock at her children, and then turned and slammed the living room door behind her.

"You didn't exactly go easy on her, Jack," Marlene said, looking reproachfully at her brother and then leaning her head on his shoulder.

"She didn' 'serve it. I lovoo, Mars," Jack said. He planted a sloppy kiss on the edge of Marlene's forehead.

"I love you too. Come on, let's get you to bed."

* * *

**A/N: I love writing Jack. Leave me a review to tell me what you think. If you have any questions that you want answers for, drop them in a review and I'll reply in a private message. Hope you're still enjoying it xx**


	22. Special Moments and Sad News

**A/N: Okay, two updates in two days, I hope you're happy, if you're all still reading xx**

**Chapter Twenty One, January 1977**

Marlene giggled uncontrollably. The more Sirius told her to stay quiet the more impossible she found it to stop laughing. They were crouching down behind the door to a compartment of the Hogwarts Express, listening to James and Lily calling for them from outside in the corridor. Inside the compartment, two second year Ravenclaws had been sworn to secrecy and silence, and were watching the scene unfold with nervous amusement.

"Marly, you need to be quiet," Sirius whispered. "You're letting us down. We can't let them find us. I don't want to listen to Evans telling us about her revision. I can't face it anymore. Don't make me do it."

Marlene tried to take deep breaths, but another wave of laughter swept over her and she collapsed onto Sirius' lap in a fit of giggles. Sirius shook his head in bemusement, but he held her close to him and she knew he wasn't really annoyed. She leant closer against the door to listen to James and Lily's conversation.

"I don't understand where they went," Lily was saying. "Mar said they'd be back in a minute. Where could they have gone?"

"I'm sure we'll find them soon," James said. He didn't sound very motivated though, and Marlene thought that he was probably just humoring Lily by helping her search. He'd caught Sirius' eye before they'd left the compartment everyone had been sitting in, and she was sure he'd have known that they didn't want to be found.

"They're not anywhere. I don't understand. Shall we look in these compartments?"

"Nah, all of these are full of kids. This is a waste of time. Let's just go back. We'll see them when we arrive anyway."

"Okay," Lily said. She sounded disappointed.

Marlene knew she should feel guilty for hiding from her friends, but the warmth of Sirius' hand in hers stopped her from caring. They listened to the retreating footsteps of their two best friends, and then stood up and left their hiding place, choosing an empty compartment across the corridor instead. As soon as Sirius sat down, he pulled her into his lap to kiss her. She tangled one hand in his hair and placed the other on his cheek, tilting his head so that she could kiss him more fiercely. He gave a small moan when she bit his lip, and she smiled through the kiss.

There was a knock at the door to the compartment. Marlene went to pull away from Sirius but he groaned and pulled her back into him. She kissed him for another few seconds before a cough sounded from behind her. She turned around, sliding off Sirius' lap to sit next to him on the bench, and scowled at Bertha Jorkins.

Bertha had the decency to look a little embarrassed under Marlene's glare, but she cleared her throat again and turned to face Sirius instead.

"Hi, Sirius." Bertha's voice was high pitched. Marlene smirked at the other girl's nervousness. "Um, I thought you might like to come and sit with me instead." She finished her invitation with a pout that was obviously intended to be sultry and suggestive, but only succeeded in making her look grumpy and desperate.

"What? Why would I do that?" Sirius managed to look genuinely confused, but the creases next to his eyes showed that he found the situation amusing. Marlene nuzzled into his neck, enjoying the awkwardness that had stretched across the compartment. Part of her hated the attention other girls paid Sirius, but Bertha was so pathetic that she just found it funny.

"You're not fooling anyone, Black," Bertha said. She sounded more confident now, and tossed back her flat hair. "We all know you don't want to be stuck with one girl. You're not really one for _commitment, _are you? I thought you might like to come and spend some time in our compartment instead. We have _much _more experience than McKinnon. I think you'd find it enjoyable."

Marlene frowned. She knew Sirius wasn't interested in Bertha. At best, she could only be described as plain, and whatever 'experience' she was referring to wasn't due to her attractiveness. Marlene knew that Bertha wasn't a threat, but it still stung that the other girl thought she could make Marlene look inadequate. Marlene had always been approached by guys. She was rich and beautiful and she knew it. Over the years, people had stopped trying so hard with her, knowing that she rarely showed an interest, and fearing James' overprotectiveness, but the attention had given her a level of confidence she hadn't thought someone like Bertha Jorkins would be able to shatter.

"I'm actually with my girlfriend right now, Brenda," Sirius said. Marlene relaxed, laughing at his deliberate mistake with Bertha's name. "But even if I wasn't, I can't really see the appeal of joining you."

Bertha stood still in the doorway. Marlene watched her, feeling some small sympathy for the girl that had hoped for a chance with Sirius Black, but mainly feeling irritation that she had thought she could take him away from her.

"You can go now," Marlene said, smiling sweetly but maintaining eye contact until Bertha turned and fled from the compartment.

"You're cruel," Sirius said with a small grin.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Marlene raised one eyebrow.

"Not at all," Sirius said, leaning back into her.

* * *

"Where were you? We looked for you for ages," Lily said, climbing into the horseless carriage Marlene and Sirius had taken. "You were gone for the whole train journey."

"Leave them alone, Lil," Alice said. "They've not seen each other for a while. They're allowed to have some alone time."

Lily let out a small "Oh," and looked determinedly out of the window. Alice caught Marlene's eye and laughed.

"Good to see you, Green. I heard you did yourself an injury over the summer," Sirius said. He took Marlene's hand as he spoke.

"Yup. Some idiot thought I might like to dance with him."

"So you broke your wrist trying to teach him a lesson?" Marlene laughed and shook her head.

"It's not my fault. I didn't realise Mum was cruel enough to leave it broken for a week and a half. She fixed it in the end. She got too annoyed that I couldn't help with the washing up."

"You're insane," Sirius said.

"I thought that was what you liked about me," Alice said.

"Definitely," Sirius said. "I saw Brookes getting off the train. She's managed to grow all her hair back."

"Dammit. I need to work on permanent hexes," Alice said with a scowl.

"Maybe you could work on not losing your temper all the time instead," Lily said. She waited for somebody to speak, and then shook her head when the other three looked disbelievingly at her. "Come on, guys. You could all do with making less enemies, especially now that we're NEWT students. You shouldn't be getting so distracted from your studies."

"Why are we friends with her?" Marlene stage whispered across the carriage to Alice, who was pulling a very convincing confused face.

"I have no idea," Alice said, giggling when Lily punched her arm. "Oh, now I remember. It's because she gets vicious when she's angry and we're too scared to break off the friendship and end up on her bad side."

"You're both definitely already on my bad side," Lily said, but she didn't really look annoyed.

"What? I thought we were your favourite people. Who are you going to have girly sleepovers with if you don't like us anymore?" Alice rearranged her expression into one of worry.

"James will probably have a sleepover with you, Lils," Marlene said. "I'll let him know he's been upgraded on your friendship list."

"Shut up," Lily said. "We're nearly there, I can see the castle. I've missed it."

The four of them turned and looked out of the window. Hogwarts never ceased to be astounding, no matter how many times they saw it. Marlene squeezed Sirius' hand and he smiled. She knew that Hogwarts was the first place he had truly considered to be a home, and however welcoming the Potters were towards him, this was where he felt most comfortable.

"Come on, then," Sirius said, standing up as the carriage came to a halt. "We have a feast to get to."

They met the rest of the Marauders in the Entrance Hall, and Marlene dropped Sirius' hand to give James a huge hug. She turned around when she realised that James was looking at something behind her, and frowned as she watched Sirius pick Emmeline Vance up and spin her around in a circle.

Emmeline didn't remove her arms from around Sirius' neck for a minute after he put her down, and she was laughing as she spoke to him. Sirius said something and Emmeline shook her head and ruffled his hair. Marlene felt a rush of jealousy and stepped closer to him, raising an eyebrow. Sirius moved away from Emmeline and put his arm back around Marlene's shoulders, looking at her questioningly. He didn't understand why she was annoyed.

"Well, I should go and find the 'Claws," Emmeline said. Her smile was sunny as per usual, and she didn't seem to have noticed the tension she had caused. "I'll catch you later, Sirius. It was nice to see you all."

Marlene put her arm around Sirius' waist so that they could walk while hugging each other, and followed him into the Hall, still feeling unsure about Sirius and Emmeline's friendship. They had been close for longer than her and Sirius had been together, but she still didn't like it.

"Don't be stupid, Marls," Lily said, sitting down opposite her at the Gryffindor table. "Look."

Marlene looked in the direction Lily was nodding in, and almost laughed when she saw Emmeline locked in a passionate embrace with a seventh year Ravenclaw.

"Nothing to worry about," Lily said with a knowing smile. She reached out and squeezed Marlene's hand quickly, and then turned to give her full attention to Dumbledore, who had stood up at the end of the Great Hall.

The Hall slowly quietened down as people noticed their Headmaster, until eventually they sat in silence. Dumbledore looked apprehensive and solemn, and Marlene saw Lily frown as she realised this. He paused before speaking, and when he started to talk his voice was quieter than usual.

"I should start by welcoming back all of you who have spent the festive period at home with your families," Dumbledore said with a small smile. "As always, it is a joy to see you all return. I would usually let you enjoy the work of our splendid house elves, but I'm afraid it is once more my duty to be the bearer of sorrowful news."

Marlene bit her lip, watching Dumbledore struggle to find the words he was looking for. She had always seen their Headmaster as being completely composed and in control, but for the first time she doubted his absolute power. He was without doubt the greatest wizard alive, but that didn't mean he needed always to hide his emotions, and for the first time since she had arrived at the school he seemed to be failing to do so.

"It is with deepest regret that I inform you of the passing of two of our first year students over the holidays. Gregory and Brian Packham were killed by Death Eaters, along with their parents and younger sister late last night during an attack on the muggle village of Saxmundham where they lived."

Dumbledore's words were met with shocked gasps from the students, and several of the younger students on the Hufflepuff table burst into tears. Marlene hadn't known the two boys, but she guessed that this had been their house, and squeezed Sirius' hand more tightly when she thought of their helplessness.

"This is not the first attack that has targeted muggle born witches or wizards, and regrettably I am sure that it will not be the last, but it is the first time that we have lost any of our own students. I would like you all, please, to take part in a minute of silence, as we remember Gregory and Brian, two boys who did not deserve to have their lives so cruelly cut short."

Marlene bent her head and brushed away the tears that were starting to burn her eyes. She felt so stupid for worrying about Sirius and Emmeline, and for being so cruel to Bertha Jorkins, when there was so much more to think about. She could hear muffled sobs from around the Hall, and tried to focus on the two first year boys who had lost their lives. She couldn't picture them, but she could imagine their terror. They had only had one term of magical education, and their non-magical family wouldn't have stood a chance of protecting them. She wondered how old their sister had been, and swallowed the lump that came into her throat.

"Thankyou," Dumbledore said, signaling the end of the minute. "We cannot bring Gregory and Brian back, and there will be more casualties in this war that we cannot help, but we must remember that we are stronger if we are united. We need to remain strong, protected by the friendships that are forged here in our school, and hopefully we will be able to conquer these dark times and restore our world to one in which love is remembered, and children are safe."

Sirius' grip was uncomfortably tight on Marlene's hand, and across the table Lily was sitting with her fists clenched, tears streaming down her pale cheeks.

"And now, let us eat and try our best to be merry and grateful for what we still have," Dumbledore said and sat back down next to Professor McGonagall, who looked pale and shocked.

Gradually, the Hall began to fill with noise again, but the anxious voices were different to the happy chatter that had previously taken place.

"That's...horrible," James said. He looked like he was going to be sick.

Lily let out a small sob. Alice reached out her hand to her, but she shook her off and stood up, rushing out of the Hall. Alice looked over at Marlene, who nodded, and both of them stood up to follow her.

"No," James said, pulling Alice back down. "I'll go."

Alice opened her mouth to argue but James looked determined so they let him go, watching him walk purposefully towards the huge doors at the end of the Hall.

"This needs to end," Sirius said, his jaw clenched. "They were just kids. This shouldn't be happening."

"Well, I don't think we're really in a position to end it," Alice said. She wasn't trying to sound cruel. She was just stating a fact, but Sirius glared at her.

"If we don't end it it's going to end us," Remus said. Alice looked down at her empty plate, her eyes filling with tears, and Remus put his arm around her.

"I wish things could be different," Peter said. His voice was quiet, but he had said the words they had all been thinking for a long time, and it seemed that there was nothing left to say.

* * *

"Sirius, stop it. I need to study," Marlene said, shaking off Sirius' arm for the third time.

"But I'm bored," Sirius said. He leant closer to her and tried to do a puppy dog face but drew back when she hit him with her Transfiguration textbook.

"No. It's our second week back and you've already made me get behind. Lily won't let me use her notes. She says I brought this on myself so I have to get myself out of it. Please, Sirius, let me finish this. You should be studying too."

"I am studying," Sirius said indignantly.

"Yeah? Sirius, I can't remember the last time I saw you read a book."

"I'm studying _you. _It's invaluable research."

"Yeah? What have you learnt?"

"Um, you're a bit scary when you're angry, and you can do a really good ice queen glare."

"What are you even talking about?"

"Your ice queen glare. Come on, you know the one I mean...the one you give Samara Brookes now whenever she comes near me."

"I _do not _have an ice queen glare."

"You absolutely do. JAMES, doesn't Marly have an ice queen glare?"

James looked up from where he was sitting by the fire, planning Quidditch plays for his first year as captain of the Gryffindor team.

"Oh, yeah. I've lived in terror of the ice queen glare since I was about four and wouldn't let her ride my training broom."

"See," Sirius said. He looked triumphant. "I told you."

"Well, if you don't want to see the ice queen glare, you should probably let me write my Transfiguration essay," Marlene said.

"You're so boring. When did you get so boring? I'm sure I wouldn't have given into you begging me to go out with you if you'd been this boring."

"Sirius honey, I think we both know I wasn't the one who begged."

"Excuse me? Marlene McKinnon?" A small first year stood next to Marlene's chair. She looked intimidated, and Marlene tried to soften her expression. "Professor McGonagall's outside. She says she needs to speak to you."

"What have you done, Mar? Minnie never comes to the Common Room," Sirius said, tilting his chair onto its back legs and laughing.

"Shut up. I'll go and find out what's going on. _Please _don't touch my work," Marlene said. Sirius pulled her in for a quick kiss and she pushed open the portrait hole. She tried not to be worried about their Professor's request to see her. She knew she hadn't done anything to get her in trouble. It couldn't be anything too serious.

"Ah, Miss McKinnon," Professor McGonagall said. Her voice was trembling slightly, and she looked more affectionate than Marlene had ever seen her.

"Professor," Marlene said.

"Perhaps we should go to the Headmaster's Office and talk there."

"What? Why? What's happened?"

"I really don't think we should discuss it here." Professor McGonagall looked flustered, and her stress made Marlene worry.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"I really think..."

"Please. What's happened? Is somebody hurt? Why do you look so worried?"

"Miss McKinnon...Marlene," Professor McGonagall said, looking down at Marlene with definite pity in her eyes.

"Tell me," Marlene said, her voice pleading.

"It's your brother. He's been attacked."

* * *

**A/N: Please please please if you've taken the time to read, drop me a review to let me know your thoughts. I'll try to reply to all reviews I receive from now on, and my updates tend to be a lot faster when I've had feedback to motivate me xx**


	23. Hospital and Heartbreak

**Chapter Twenty Two, January 1977**

Marlene didn't say anything as she followed Professor McGonagall into her office. She was vaguely aware that McGonagall was speaking to her but she only processed some of the words she said...

"_currently not in a stable position"_

"_took them all by surprise"_

"_at least 15 casualties"_

"_one of several Order missions to be ambushed"_

"_not all of them made it to hospital"_

"_important to proceed with discretion"_

She felt sick, and dizzy, and part of her thought she needed to just go to sleep, but she knew that she couldn't. She had to go and see Jack. She took a handful of floo powder out of the box McGonagall held out to her, and dropped it into the fireplace in front of her. The flames turned a bright, emerald green and she stepped into them without waiting for McGonagall's instruction. She focussed on keeping her elbows tucked in close to her as she spun, and squeezed her eyes shut until the spinning stopped and she could leave the fireplace in the reception area at St Mungo's.

The hospital was busy. There was a long queue to speak to the welcome witch at the desk, but Marlene strode straight to the front, ignoring the indignant cries from people behind her.

"Hi. My brother, Jack McKinnon...he's just been admitted. Could you tell me..."

"Fourth Floor, spell damage. He's in the second room on the left," the witch said without looking up from filing her nails. Marlene didn't wait to thank her, but started to run up the stairs, not stopping until she saw a large number four on the wall in front of her. A man stood outside the door she was supposed to go through. He turned when she approached, and smiled.

"Professor Dearborn. What are you doing here?" Marlene temporarily forgot about the fact her brother was somewhere behind the door, and focussed on the fact her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was in the hospital.

"Guard duty," Dearborn said. He looked tired, and had a large rip in his shirt, exposing bloody skin beneath it.

"You need to guard a hospital ward? Why?"

"People aren't that happy with us at the moment. A lot of powerful people want us gone. We lost too many people last night, and we can't afford to lose any more."

"You were out with them last night? I didn't know you were part of the Ord.."

"Ssh," Dearborn said, looking around them to see if anybody could hear their conversation. "It's not safe to talk about it here, but yes, I am. I was with your brother last night."

"Is he going to be okay? Professor McGonagall wouldn't give me a straight answer. Please..."

"Marlene, I don't know. I hope so. He's a great man, your brother, and a brilliant fighter. He'd be a great loss."

"Can I see him?"

"Yeah, of course. Sorry for holding you up."

Dearborn stepped aside and Marlene went to enter the ward, but he grabbed her arm just before she opened the door.

"Look, Marlene, could you not mention this to the other kids at school? Albus and I want to keep my profile low at least for now. It's not safe for too many people to know who the members are."

"Right. Yeah, sure. I won't say anything."

"Thankyou. I hope your brother makes a full recovery."

"I do too."

* * *

Marlene held Jack's hand next to her face, her head on the pillow next to her brother's. Her eyes were swollen and painful from all her tears. Jack hadn't moved at all. He wasn't even breathing. The Healer in the ward had explained that they were using spells to keep oxygen flowing through his body, but they couldn't continue to do so indefinitely. He had been hit by too many different curses, and unless they found a way to wake him up they couldn't keep alive much longer.

She reached out and stroked his hair, trying not to wince at the blood that was still matted through it. He didn't look like her brother. His face was swollen and his eyes were closed. She allowed another sob to shake her body and gently pressed her forehead against his shoulder, her tears soaking through the thin hospital gown he had been dressed in.

"Wake up, Jack. I miss you," she whispered again, wishing that he'd move his arm to hug her. He was her big brother. She needed him to be there to look after her. She'd never had to consider facing life without him, and now that it seemed possible she knew she wasn't strong enough to manage it. Jack had always been there to resolve her problems and fight her battles for her, and she knew he had wanted her to learn to deal with things by herself but she wasn't ready to be without him yet, and deep down she knew she never will be.

"I need you. P..please, Jack. I c..can't."

* * *

"Miss McKinnon?"

Marlene looked up at the Healer who had returned to the ward.

"Miss McKinnon. I'm sorry, but we need you to leave the ward. We're going to try a new procedure and can't risk any distractions."

"No...no, I want to stay here...with him."

"Please, Miss McKinnon. We need you to leave. If you wait upstairs in the visitor's tearoom I promise I'll come and tell you as soon as we've finished. Hopefully at that point he'll be awake."

"I can't leave him."

"I'm sorry. We really can't let you stay. Please, Miss McKinnon."

"Okay. Fine. But...please come and tell me when I can come back?"

"Of course I will." The Healer gave her a sympathetic smile.

Marlene stood up, squeezing Jack's hand before letting go.

* * *

Her tea was cold. She didn't know why she'd bought it. She'd known she wasn't going to drink it, but holding the cup gave her something to do.

"Marlene? What are you doing here?" Emmeline looked even worse than Marlene felt. Her nails were bitten down so far that her fingers were bleeding, and her red eyes were surrounded by rings of smudged mascara. Her school skirt was as short as always, but where usually it made her look sexy and confident, today it exposed her shaking legs, and the marks from where she had clearly been digging her nails into her thighs. She was holding a cup of coffee, but her hands were trembling so much that most of it had dripped over the side of the cup onto her arm, where it stained her white school shirt.

"My brother's in here," Marlene said, shuffling over on the bench she sat on to make space for Emmeline to sit down beside her.

"Oh, that's right. Dad said he was on the same mission. I forgot."

"You Dad was with them?"

"Yeah," Emmeline said. Her lip wobbled and she put down her coffee cup, clenching her fists tightly. "Yeah, he was." She stared down at the table. There was obviously more she wanted to say, so Marlene stayed quiet, waiting for Emmeline to continue.

Emmeline eventually picked up her coffee and turned back to Marlene. "I didn't get to say goodbye. I spent the whole holiday with him and he didn't tell me he was even going away. He sent me a letter when I got back to Hogwarts, but he told me not to reply in case it was intercepted. I didn't...i didn't even know he was in danger, and now he's never coming back."

"I'm so sorry," Marlene said. She tentatively reached out to put her hand on Emmeline's arm, not really knowing what to say. She wished Sirius was there to help. He understood Emmeline so much better than she could.

"He was all I had, Mars. It's just been me and my Dad for as long as I can remember, and now I'm completely by myself."

Tears were streaming down Emmeline's face but she didn't even seem to notice them. Marlene had never seen her looking so vulnerable. She reached out and put her arm around the other girl, letting her cry.

"Miss McKinnon?"

Jack's Healer had kept to her word and come to find Marlene. She was smiling. "Your brother's awake."

Marlene let go of Emmeline and stood up. "Can I see him?"

"Sure. Make sure he doesn't try to get up. He needs a few days of rest but he'll make a full recovery."

Marlene breathed out a sigh of relief. She started to walk to the stairs but then remembered Emmeline and turned back. Emmeline gave her a small smile through her tears.

"Go, Marlene. It's okay. It's alright for you to be happy."

* * *

"Hey, Sis," Jack said. He was sitting up and he grinned at Marlene as she sat down next to him. He still looked ill. His face was colourless, and he had a scary looking cut running from his jaw down to his collarbone, but he was awake and talking and that was what mattered.

"Good to see your eyes again," Marlene said.

"And hear my lovely voice?"

"Nah, the novelty wears off quickly."

Jack playfully punched her arm and she winced, not because it hurt but because the fact she hardly felt anything highlighted how weak he was.

"How long have you been here?" Jack caught her hand as he spoke.

"I'm not sure. I left Hogwarts quite soon after breakfast, but I don't know what the time is."

"Okay. Um...do you know if Dorcas has come to visit?"

"Not that I know of."

"Have you heard anything about her? She was on the same mission. Do you know if she's okay?"

"Her name wasn't on the list of fatalities they've put up. Maybe she's in another ward?"

"Yeah, probably. Come here. I've missed you."

Marlene leaned forwards to hug him. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"What is there to tell?"

"Jack, they got you so badly that you stopped bleeding. What's the explanation?"

"I don't know what to tell you. We were outnumbered...badly. I reckon I can blame Dolohov for me ending up here, but if he hadn't got me someone else probably would have done. The whole thing was a total mess. We were only there to get information but they were expecting us and obviously wanted a fight. I took a curse for Dorcas, and then they kept hitting me."

"Did you know Mr Vance?" It had only just occurred to Marlene that Jack might know how Emmeline's father had died.

"Gordon? Yeah, he's a laugh. Why?"

"He's dead," Marlene said. Jack swore. "I saw his daughter in the tearoom."

"Do you know her well?"

"She's in my year. Her and Sirius are...well acquainted."

"Look after her, Mars. Their family's had more than their fair share of pain."

"What..."

"It's not my place to say," Jack said. There was a finality in his voice that made Marlene sure there was no point arguing.

The door opened and a girl walked in. Marlene didn't recognize her, but her eyes widened when she saw her. She was beautiful. She must be more than a little part veela. Her long blonde hair hung in curls down her back, and although she'd obviously been crying she looked stunning. She turned slightly and Marlene tried not to stare as her other side revealed a large burn down her cheek, marring her otherwise flawless appearance.

"Doe," Jack breathed. He struggled to sit up again and the girl took a nervous step towards him.

"They only just let me out," she said quietly. She didn't look at Marlene.

"I'll just...leave you two," Marlene said suddenly. "I should go back to school anyway. I didn't tell anyone where I was going."

"Thanks for coming, Marly," Jack said, tearing his eyes away from the girl Marlene assumed was Dorcas Meadowes. "Love you."

"I love you too." Marlene leaned forwards and kissed his forehead. "Don't do this again, kay? I don't think I could handle it."

"I'll try my best," Jack said with a grin. He gave her hand a quick squeeze and she stood up to leave. "Write to me, Marls. Make sure you stay safe and smiley."

"I'll try my best."

* * *

Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk when Marlene stepped out of the fireplace in her office. She no longer looked worried, and Marlene assumed she had been informed of Jack's stability.

"Welcome back, Miss McKinnon. I suggest you go straight to your common room. It's already past curfew."

"Okay. Thanks, Professor," Marlene said. When Professor McGonagall didn't respond, she pushed open the door and left the office. She felt drained and just wanted to go to sleep. She didn't know what the time was but the day seemed to have gone on forever. She stepped out into the corridor and gave a small smile as Sirius stood up from where he had been sitting on the floor outside.

"Mar, what happened? Minnie wouldn't tell me where you are. Have you been crying?" Sirius looked concerned, and Marlene let him fold her up in his arms so she could cry. He rubbed her back and held onto her tightly until she was calm enough to wipe her eyes and step back from him.

"Jack was attacked," she said, surprised by how cold her voice sounded. "He's alive, and he's going to be fine, but they weren't sure for a while."

"Okay...well, that's good, isn't it? Not that he's been attacked, but it's good that he's alright." Sirius shuffled from one foot to another. Marlene understood why he was confused. She wasn't sure why she still felt so emotional even now she knew that her brother was fine, so she couldn't expect Sirius to understand.

"Yeah. I guess. It was scary, though," she said, speaking quickly when another thought occurred to her. "Emmeline was at St Mungo's. Her Father died on the same mission."

Sirius swore loudly and kicked the wall next to him. Marlene flinched at his anger.

"Sorry. Um...Em's just been a bit fragile recently. This isn't going to help," Sirius said. He ran a hand through his hair and then took Marlene's hand, starting to lead her back towards the Common Room.

"Wait," Marlene said, although she wasn't completely sure what she wanted to say.

Sirius looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"I can't do this anymore, Sirius." She didn't really understand why she was starting this conversation. Sirius made her happy, and a few hours ago it would never have occurred to her that he wasn't what she wanted, but seeing Jack in the hospital bed had terrified her.

"Do what?"

"This. Us," Marlene said, her eyes filling with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"Right...why?" The hurt was visible in Sirius' eyes, and part of Marlene wanted to hug him and immediately take it back, but she knew that she couldn't.

"Because this war isn't going to go away. Today was awful, and I can't go through that again."

"Marls, that makes no sense. How's that related to us? We're fine. We're great."

"Jack nearly _died_, Sirius, and if he had done I think I would have died too. I'm not strong. I can't survive losing the people I love."

"It's not easy for any of us but breaking up isn't going to solve any problems. You're being irrational."

"No, I'm not. Listen to me. I've gone my whole life only loving two people, and those people are Jack and James."

Sirius gave a dry laugh.

"Shut up," Marlene said, and he went quiet. "I couldn't stop loving them if I tried, I really couldn't, and I'd completely fall apart if anything happened to one of them."

"Yeah, I know, Marly. We've all got people like that. It doesn't make you weak."

"It _does. _The more people you love, the more people there are that can be used against you, and I can't risk that happening. I can't love anybody else. It'll hurt me."

"So you're going to distance yourself from anyone you might end up caring about too much? That's insane. It's bitchy even for you." Sirius looked angry now, and Marlene took a step back.

"I know. I'm sorry. I really like you, Sirius, I do, and if things were different I'd never want to end what we have...but if we stay together much longer I'm not going to be able to stop myself from falling in love with you, and that's not an option for me right now."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You can't honestly think this is a sensible way to go about life, cutting out anything that might eventually lead to you getting hurt."

"It's the only thing I can do."

"No, Marly, it's not. This is so typically you, running away from anything that could be a problem and insisting that it's not your fault because it's _out of your control. _It's not your only option. It's your life, Mar, but you always insist that you don't have the ability to make your own decisions. Why do you always do this? When has it _ever _worked out well for you?"

"SHUT UP," Marlene shouted at him, and then lowered the volume of her voice when Sirius stopped talking. "You don't get to talk like that to me. I just watched my brother nearly die. Emmeline's falling apart because she lost her Father. You're right that we all have people we'd suffer for, but you can't blame me for keeping that list of people to a minimum."

"I.."

"No. You don't get to change my mind about this, Black. We're done. This whole relationship was a stupid idea in the first place. We're in the middle of a war. There isn't any space for falling in love."

"So we're finished?"

"Yes," Marlene said. She looked at the floor so she didn't have to look at Sirius. Her decision to break up with him had taken her by surprise, but once she had thought of it she was sure it was the right thing.

"Fine. That's fucking great. I'll go and let James know his best friend's broken up with me because she already loves him and loving me too would be too many people. It's nice to know you've organized your priorities so carefully."

"Sirius," Marlene said, biting her lip to avoid crying again. "Please."

"No. You can stop talking, Marlene. You've fucking said enough."

Marlene lifted the chain around her neck, pulling the small clock Sirius had given her for Christmas over her head and holding it out to him. He glared at it for a moment, and then snatched it out of her hand, turning away and storming down the corridor.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry guys...but Jack's okay, so maybe you'll forgive me. I'd really love it if you could review and tell me what you think x**


	24. Hangovers and Happy Birthdays

**Chapter Twenty Three, January 1977**

Alice found Marlene curled up on the floor outside Professor McGonagall's office. She sighed and reached out, putting her arm around Marlene's back and supporting her as they walked back to the Common Room. Marlene wasn't crying but she felt like she was still in shock. Alice forced her into their Dormitory and shouted at Samara and Mary to get out. Samara looked like she wanted to say something, but Mary looked at Marlene and dragged her friend out of the room.

"Right, sit down," Alice said, pointing at Marlene's bed. Marlene sat down at the edge of the mattress and tucked her feet under her. Alice took a bottle of firewhisky out from under her bed and poured them both a glass before sitting down next to her. "Talk."

"About what?" Marlene took a large gulp of the drink. It burned her throat but she was grateful for the numbing feeling it brought.

"About the fact Sirius stormed up here and punched James in the face?"

Marlene choked on her drink. "He did what?"

"It's fine," Alice said, taking a sip of her own drink. "He hit James, and Remus pulled him off him and then he apologized and then he started crying and they all went to Hogsmeade to get drunk."

"He cried? Fuck."

"My thoughts exactly. So what did you do? Trouble in paradise?"

"I ended it." Marlene finished her drink and held out her glass for Alice to refill it.

"But I thought you guys were doing really well," Alice said. She looked sad and topped up her glass too.

"We were," Marlene said with a sigh. "That's the problem."

"How's that a problem?"

"Because...both of us are going to be risking our lives in the war. As soon as we leave school we're all going to be in danger, and I couldn't manage being with him and knowing that I might lose him."

"So you've decided to lose him now instead?"

"It sounds stupid when you say it like that. No...my brother was in hospital today, and there was a while when I thought he wasn't going to make it. I couldn't have got through it if he'd died, Alice. I really didn't know what I was going to do with myself and I just realised, that's how it's always going to be if I let myself love people."

"Okay. Why did he punch James?"

"I didn't think he'd do that. Um, I probably didn't word everything in the best way. I told him I already loved Jack and James and couldn't risk feeling like that for anyone else. He said something about me loving James and that meaning I had no space for him."

"You're an idiot, Marly."

"I know," Marlene said. She finished her second drink and poured more of the whisky into her glass. Her head was starting to feel fuzzy but she didn't care.

"You're also being quite selfish."

"I know that too."

"I do understand, though."

"Yeah?" Marlene put down her drink on the bedside table. "I thought you were going to tell me I did the wrong thing."

"No. I reckon Lily will think that. Bertram told her he loved her this morning and she's being all revoltingly happy about their relationship. She'll think you're silly to choose to go without love, but I get it. I haven't stopped worrying about Frank since he started Auror training. It's this horrible kind of agony whenever I think about how much of a target he's made himself," Alice said. There was a sadness in her eyes that Marlene had seen more and more recently.

"I'm sorry, Alice."

"It's fine. I still want to be with him. We were in too deep to end it, but if you think you and Sirius weren't...I can see why you'd want to finish it to protect yourself. I don't know what's going to happen to me if I lose Frank."

"I know. When did everything get so complicated?" Marlene picked up her drink again.

"Don't ask me. It's a fucking mess. Let's get drunk and pretend we don't have anything to worry about."

"I approve of this plan."

* * *

"Oh, for Merlin's sake. I knew I shouldn't have left you two alone together," Lily said. She had opened the door and gagged at the smell of whisky and vomit in the room. "Alice, you were supposed to be checking up on her, not getting her drunk and making everything worse."

Alice just giggled and sent her a lazy wave. They had been drinking and laughing for hours. At some point Mary and Samara had come back to the room, but had left quickly when Alice had pointed her wand at them.

"Seriously. You two need to sort yourselves out. You can't just get drunk whenever one or both of you has a problem," Lily said. She made her way through the mess of Alice's clothes to reach the bed, where she tried to take the two bottles of firewhisky out of their hands.

"Noooo," Marlene said, cuddling the bottle to her chest. "We have to drinkshh...ish our only love."

"Yeshh," Alice said. "We musht have firewhishky and wine."

"You _cannot_ be serious," Lily said. She rolled her eyes and sat down on her own bed, facing them both and glaring at them.

"I'm not Sirius. Where's Sirius?" Marlene sat up again to look at Lily. "You've seen Sirius?"

"That's not what I said," Lily said with a sigh. "But yes, I have. James and Remus had to carry him back from Hogsmeade. You have more in common than I thought you did. Both of you decided to see how much you could drink instead of dealing with your problems."

"We've got no problems at all," Marlene sang, taking another gulp from her bottle.

"No problemsh," Alice echoed. She put her arm around Marlene and giggled. "Jusht alcohol. Nothing to worry about."

"Yesh, no need to be missserable," Marlene said, and promptly burst into tears.

"Okay. Shush, honey, this is going to be fine," Lily said. She sat down next to Marlene on the bed and took the firewhisky from her, putting it carefully on the floor next to her feet. She then put her arm around her and turned to glare at Alice. "_Why _would you think this is a good idea? She was obviously already upset. You don't need to give her alcohol to fuel it."

"Not my fault," Alice said, shuffling to the edge of the bed furthest from Lily and watching her suspiciously as she drained her bottle. "All her idea."

"Oh really? This was _Marlene's _idea?"

"Yesh." Alice hiccuped.

"So Marly decided the two of you should raid your alcohol stash in the middle of the night when you have class tomorrow?"

Alice nodded determinedly and Lily shook her head.

"Well, I'm not going to be showing either of you any pity when you're hungover tomorrow. Come on, Marly. Let's put you to bed."

* * *

"When I can see straight, I'm going to kill you," Marlene said, glaring at Alice across the table at Breakfast. Lily had poured her a glass of orange juice and buttered two pieces of toast for her, but she hadn't touched either and was instead sipping at a cup of black coffee and closing her eyes whenever the dizziness got too much.

"Can you do it soon? I'm in so much pain right now it would be merciful," Alice said, nibbling at her own piece of toast.

Lily smirked and Alice poured her glass of orange juice over her. Lily looked furious for a moment but her expression softened when she saw Marlene laughing, and she charmed away the mess without saying anything.

"Stop being all perfect, Lil. You're supposed to get annoyed. I can't deal with this today. You're sickening," Alice said, then paused and gulped. "Actually, I really am going to be sick." She stood up and ran out of the Hall.

Lily turned to Marlene, who shook her head. "Don't say anything. Take the toast away please."

"Fine," Lily said. She picked up Marlene's toast and started to eat it herself. She looked content for a moment, and then scowled as James sat down next to Marlene.

"Hey," Marly said quietly. She wasn't sure how James was going to react to the break up. He had always been worried that Sirius would hurt her, and she was sure that if he had done James would have tried to kill him, but she didn't know how he'd react to the fact it was Sirius who had been hurt.

"How are you holding up?" James put his arm around her and she leaned her head onto his shoulder, relieved that he didn't seem to be annoyed.

"Hungover."

James laughed. "Me too. Sirius dragged us to the pub last night."

"Is he okay?"

"Erm, he says he is. He's with Emmeline at the moment."

"Okay." Marlene closed her eyes and turned her face further into James' shoulder.

"He'll be alright, Marly. You're allowed to break up with him, even if it did get me punched in the face."

"I didn't know he was going to do that."

"He needed someone to take his anger out on," James said, touching the dark bruise below his eye. Across the table, Lily looked up.

"Do you want me to fix that?" Lily took out her wand and looked questioningly at James.

"You'll do that? You always refuse to fix my injuries," James said, looking confused.

"I refuse to fix them when it's your own fault that you're hurt. You didn't do anything wrong this time."

"Oh. Thanks, Lily."

Lily leaned over the table to touch her wand to James' face.

"There you go. All back to normal," Lily said, drawing away from James.

"Ah, Evans. Thanks. I didn't know you cared so much about keeping me pretty," James said.

Lily rolled her eyes and went back to her breakfast.

"You know there's a Hogsmeade weekend next week? Do you..."

"No," Lily said. "I don't want to go with you. I have a boyfriend, Potter, and even if I didn't I wouldn't go out with you if you paid me. I need to go. I've got Arithmancy. I'll see you later, Marly."

Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder and stood up. Marlene laughed and kissed James' cheek. He looked a bit shocked but she didn't know why he was surprised. The same thing happened every time he asked Lily out.

"Why do you keep trying?" Marlene said, taking another sip of coffee.

"Because one day she'll realise I mean it and she'll say yes."

"She's really happy with Bertram."

"I know, but it won't last. It can't. He's disgusting."

"I'm not that keen on him either but I can't see it ending any time soon, Jamie."

"I need to show her I'm better than him," James said, his face set with determination.

"How are you going to do that?"

"It's her birthday next week. Help me throw her a party?"

"Sure, I can do that. It'll take my mind off Sirius...but I'm not sure it'll change anything."

"It doesn't have to. I just want to make her happy."

* * *

**30th January 1977 (one week later)**

"It's _my _birthday. Why don't I get to choose what we do?" Lily sat on her bed while Alice curled her hair for her, wrapping each section carefully around her wand and holding it to set the curls.

"Stop whining," Marlene said, rummaging through Alice's make up bag to find a mascara and finish Lily's eye make up. "You don't get to choose because we know best. Drink your wine."

"You definitely don't know best. Letting you two plan my night is asking for a disaster," Lily said, but she picked up the glass of wine Alice had forced into her hand and took a sip.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that," Marlene said.

"Yeah, me too," Alice said, dropping the last curl and admiring her work on Lily's hair. "I don't know why you keep insulting us, Lil. You're completely at our mercy. We could do absolutely anything to your hair and face. If I were you I'd want to stay on our good terms."

"She speaks the truth," Marlene said. She stood up and picked up the gold dress her and Alice had bought Lily for her birthday. "Put this on. We should go in a minute."

"Where are we going? I don't know if I trust you," Lily said. She pulled the dress over her head and Alice laced it up at the back.

"I see no reason why you need to know that," Alice said. She sprayed Lily's hair to make the curls stay and turned her around to check she approved of everything. "You look good. Put your shoes on. I think we're ready to leave."

"Are we walking far? I can't wear these if we need to walk," Lily said, frowning at the seven inch heels Alice had thrown at her.

"Stop asking questions," Marlene said, checking her own reflection in the mirror to make sure she was completely ready for Lily's surprise party. Alice had chosen her a simple black dress with silver shoes, insisting that she needed to _'show Sirius what he's missing,' _despite knowing full well that it had been Marlene who ended the relationship.

"Yes. Stop asking questions or I'll put you in a body bind until we get there. Finish your wine and put your shoes on. Stop being so mistrustful. We're going to have a lovely fabulous time," Alice said.

"I've finished. Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Lily, I'm sorry, but I did warn you. Petrificus Totalus," Alice said, flicking her wand at Lily, whose arms and legs became rigid. Marlene stepped behind her to catch her before she fell to the ground.

"I'm not sure she's going to forgive you for that," Marlene said. Lily's eyes looked furious.

"She'll be fine. Blindfold her. We'll have to levitate her there and then set her free once we arrive," Alice said. She seemed completely unfazed by what she'd done to her friend. Marlene shrugged and wrapped a scarf around Lily's eyes. "Wingardium Leviosa. You get the doors, Mar, I'll control the flight of our somewhat short-tempered friend."

Marlene laughed and opened the dormitory door. It took them longer than it usually would to reach the seventh floor. Alice didn't seem to care when she banged Lily's head as they turned corners, but Marlene told her off and they settled on moving more slowly and safely. When they reached the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and his absurd attempt to teach trolls ballet, they stopped and lowered Lily to the ground.

"They've done well. James said he was going to get the door to the room to show itself to anyone who was invited. He's done really well," Marlene said, grinning when she saw the door.

"You know he only did it because he didn't want to tell people how to use the room themselves. This way they'll come back tomorrow and it'll be gone and they won't be able to get back in," Alice said. "He might be clever but he's used it for selfish reasons."

"Yeah but it was good of him to let us use it. I don't know how you open it. The only time I've been Sirius sorted it out."

"Maybe. Okay. Time to awaken our birthday girl. Finite Incantatem." Alice pushed Lily through the door before Lily could tell her off for hexing her, and Marlene followed them through.

"Woah," Marlene said, standing next to Alice to take in the room. James had really outdone himself. The Room of Requirement had moulded itself into a huge ballroom with tables around the edges and a dancefloor. Half a dozen Hogwarts house elves were serving food to people, and a live band stood on a stage at one side of the room. Everyone from fifth to seventh year seemed to be there, including Bertram Aubrey and a few of his Slytherin friends, who were standing awkwardly at the edge of the room and sneering at people who danced near them.

"Is this...for me?" Lily turned to Marlene and Alice.

"Yup. Happy Birthday, Lils," Alice said.

"You did all of this?"

"With James," Marlene said, grinning as she saw James making his way towards them.

"Lily. Happy Birthday," James said with a nervous smile.

Lily smiled and gave him a quick hug, making him blush bright red.

"Thankyou, James, for doing all of this. It's amazing," she said.

"My pleasure. Would you like to dance?" James held out his hand towards her. Lily went to take it but was interrupted by Bertram, who tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, beautiful. Happy Birthday," he said, pulling her away from James to kiss her. Marlene frowned as Lily walked away with Bertram, leaving James standing by himself.

"James, I'm sorry," Marlene said, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

"We'd much rather she was with you," Alice said. "Shall I hex him? I reckon I can hit him from here."

"No, just leave it," James said. He took Marlene's hand and ran his other hand through his hair. "I want her to have a nice time. If she wants to spend the night with him that's okay. Dance, Marly?"

"Of course," Marlene said. She waved to Alice and followed James onto the dancefloor. They danced in silence for a few minutes. James didn't seem to want to talk, and Marlene didn't want to make him. He'd worked hard to make the evening special for Lily, and although he shouldn't have expected it to change anything, she couldn't blame him for getting his hopes up.

"Oops," a girl said as she stumbled into Marlene. "Sorry. He spun me around too quickly." She giggled.

"That's okay. Don't worry about it," Marlene said. She looked up to smile at the girl, but the smile froze on her face when she saw Sirius. He looked angry, but his gaze was directed to James more than her. They were having one of their silent conversations. Marlene waited, feeling James' uncomfortably tight grip around her waist. The girl Sirius was dancing with looked confused. Eventually, Sirius dragged her away from James and Marlene. Marlene watched them walk to the edge of the dance floor, and then Sirius crashed his lips against the girl's, and lifted her slightly off the floor.

"You want a drink?" James had been following Marlene's gaze, and looked concerned.

"Absolutely."

* * *

Sirius was now dancing with Samara Brookes. She had one arm wrapped tightly around his neck, and her other hand pressed to his chest. He had his arms lazily draped around her waist, and would occasionally lean in to kiss her gently. The girl he'd been dancing with earlier had run away as soon as she saw them, but Sirius didn't even seem to notice.

Marlene sat in a corner next to the drinks table with a bottle of wine. A Ravenclaw girl had asked James to dance, and he had looked apologetically at her before leaving. She was a bit tipsy and wanted to leave, but didn't know if it was too early and would offend Lily.

"Hey, grumpus," Alice said. She had been dancing with Remus and her cheeks were flushed. He followed her over to where Marlene was sat.

"Hey. Having fun?" Marlene took a swig from the wine bottle.

"Yeah, it's been great. We were planning to go back to the Common Room now, though. You look like you might be ready to leave?"

"Thank fuck," Marlene said. She stood up and swayed slightly. Remus jumped to her side to put his arm around her and support her.

"Have you been drinking by yourself? You know we don't do that," Alice said, shaking her head, but her giggles suggested she'd had several drinks herself.

"Well, I was drinking with James mostly, but then he left," Marlene said.

"Never mind. Come on, let's go back. I told Lily I was going. She didn't seem to care. I think she was about to leave with Aubrey anyway," Alice said. Marlene noticed Remus' scowl as she spoke, and remembered his dislike of Lily's boyfriend.

"Okay," Marlene said.

Remus guided Marlene back through the dancefloor and Alice followed them. The room had emptied out a bit since they'd arrived but there were still several couples on the dancefloor. She found her eyes drawn to Sirius and Samara, despite knowing that watching them wouldn't make her feel any better.

"Marly," Alice said with a pained expression. Marlene tore her eyes away from Sirius and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"I'm fine."

"I could get rid of her hair again?" Alice already had her wand out and was looking at it thoughtfully. "I much preferred her bald, and I'm sure it would put Sirius off."

"Honestly, don't worry about it. I'm okay. He has every right to be with somebody else. It was me that ended it," Marlene said, pushing Alice out through the door after Remus.

"It's a bit fast for him to move on, though. You only broke up a week ago," Alice said.

"Nobody could blame you for being upset," Remus said, putting his arm back around Marlene as she wobbled on the stairs.

"Of course they could. I'm being an idiot. We were only together for a few months and then I _chose _to break up with him. I can't complain that he's with someone else."

"You were good friends before that, though. It's understandable that the relationship meant a lot to you," Remus said.

"Stop being so sensible and nice. I don't deserve it."

"Shut up, Marly," Alice said with a bright smile. "You're being whinier than Lily."

"Sorry," Marlene whispered, looking at the ground.

"That's okay. We understand why you're upset. You've just been upset really a lot this year," Alice said, linking her arm through Marlene's on the other side to where Remus was still holding her up. "We want happy Marlene back. You're making us worried."

"I'm trying. I'll try harder."

"Take your time. We just hope you'll be happy again soon."

They arrived at the Portrait of the Fat Lady. Remus had to shout at her for a while to wake her up before he could give her the password. She reluctantly opened the portrait hole and they took it in turns to crawl through.

"Right. I'm going to go to bed," Alice yawned. "You coming?"

"I don't think so. I need to declutter my thoughts," Marlene said.

"Kay. I'll see you in the morning. I don't think I can stay awake much longer. Night, Remus."

Marlene sat down in an armchair by the fire. The Common Room was completely empty. She hadn't realised how late it was.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" Remus stood next to her, looking unsure.

"Of course not. Sorry, I assumed you wanted to go to sleep."

Remus took a seat on the sofa next to Marlene's chair and leaned back into the cushions.

"Nah, I should wait up for James. I'd had enough of the party but I need to make sure he's okay."

"Yeah. I was kind of thinking of doing the same."

They sat in silence. It should have been awkward, but Marlene felt completely comfortable. Remus made her feel relaxed even without saying anything. She closed her eyes and curled up in her chair.

* * *

Marlene had been half asleep, but was jolted awake by loud laughter.

"She said what?" James was wheezing with laughter, making his words almost incoherent.

"That we have a deep connection and she's glad that I've finally realised we're meant to be." Sirius sounded bored, and although Marlene was sure he'd been drinking all night his voice was clearer than James'.

"She's crazy."

"Pretty much. She's a good shag, though."

"I'll take your word for it. Hey, Marly. How come you're still up?" James lifted Marlene up so he could sit down, and then put her back down on his lap. She closed her eyes again and put her head down against his chest, not bothering to reply.

"We were waiting to see if you were okay," Remus said.

"Ah...yeah, I'm not too bad. Lily seemed to be having a good night, even if it didn't go completely to plan for me. You okay, Marls? You need me to put you to bed?"

"I'm fine. Just don't move too much. You're comfy."

"I'll try my best. Where is Lily anyway? She left the party ages ago?"

"I don't know. She's not been back here," Remus said.

"She's probably with Aubrey," Sirius said, taking a seat next to Remus. "I think they left at the same time."

"Great," James said, his voice bitter. "What about Pete? I've not seen him all night."

"Apparently he passed out in the corner after half an hour. Mary and Samara came back about an hour ago, carrying him. They were fairly unimpressed," Remus said.

"He's so embarrassing it's like an actual skill," James said, shaking his head in bemusement.

"He's going to have to apologize to them tomorrow. Samara was furious. She seemed to have a bit of a problem with you too, Padfoot. She kept saying I needed to control my friends."

"Yeah, we had a slight _misunderstanding._"

"The kind of misunderstanding where you neglect to tell her you're only interested in the sex until after she's slept with you and started planning your wedding?"

"Pretty much. It's cool. It's happened before and it's never stopped her coming back so far."

James squeezed his arms around Marlene. She was glad he was there. She knew she couldn't complain about Sirius talking like that in front of her, but it still hurt her and she was fairly sure it was intentional. He had put in the effort to finally commit to a relationship with her, and she had repaid him by ending it without him doing anything wrong. It was understandable that he wanted to hurt her like she'd hurt him.

The portrait hole swung open again, and they all looked up. Marlene sleepily opened her eyes and then yelped when she saw Lily and nearly fell off James' lap. Lily had tears streaming down her face, dragging streaks of the make up Marlene had applied down her cheeks. She had somehow lost her shoes and tights, and there was a rip at the top of her dress.

"Fuck, Lily. What happened?" Marlene stood up, shaking off James' arms, and ran to Lily.

She put both her arms around her and hugged her tightly but Lily didn't respond. She turned around to look helplessly at the boys. Sirius sighed and stood up to join her. He lifted Lily up as if she weighed nothing and carried her over to the sofa where he sat her down. Remus stood up and moved so that Marlene could sit next to her and stroke her hair.

"Lily?" Remus said, slowly taking a step towards her. "Did somebody hurt you?"

"N..no. I'm just...I'm j..just so s...stupid," Lily gasped through her sobs.

"You're not stupid, sweetheart. Whatever's happened, we can fix it, yeah? We'll figure it out, just like you always do for us," Marlene said.

"You c..can't. I've really, really sc..screwed up."

"Can you tell us what happened?"

Lily shook her head violently.

"Come on. Take deep breaths. You can do this," Remus said, sitting back down on Lily's other side.

James was still sitting in the armchair. He looked unsure about how he could help, not wanting to upset Lily further, but Marlene knew how much it would be hurting him to see her like this.

"Okay..." Lily took several breaths between her words. "Okay, um, so, I went back to the Slytherin Common Room with Bertram... he said he had a b..birthday present for me. And..we went to his dorm, but there was nobody else there, and he locked the door, and I...I t..told him I d...didn't want to d..do anything...but."

Lily dissolved into fresh tears and Marlene hugged her.

"What did he do?" Remus' voice was furious. "Did he force you into something? Because we can kill him for you."

"N..no. He d..didn't. He said...he said that I was b..being ungrateful and that I was l..lucky that a p..pureblood like him wanted me. He s..said that after all the t..time he'd put into b..being with me I _owed _him something m...more than he'd been getting."

"Well, he's a dick. We've known that all along," Sirius muttered under his breath. Marlene glared at him to make him shut up.

"And then...he s..said I should b..be happy to lose it t..to...to him, because I'm a..a m.._mudblood _and n..nobody else would ever want m..me. I d...didn't want to. I wanted it t...to be with someone that loved me, b...but he said that no..nobody else ever _would_, and so I d...did, and then he told me t..to _fuck off _b...because the only th..thing I'm good for is to k..keep him satisfied when he needs a _whore._"

"So, let me get this straight," James said, finally standing up from the armchair. "He told you to sleep with him because nobody else would love you...and you believed him?"

Lily nodded, her cheeks stained with tears and mascara.

"What the _fuck_, Lily?" James shouted. Sirius grabbed his arm, as if scared he was going to hit something, but James shook him off. "Are you fucking serious? I've been telling you I'm in love with you for _years. _How could you _possibly _think he was telling the truth? I would do fucking anything for you, and you choose to listen to a fucking Slytherin who we all told you wasn't worth your time."

"James, that's enough," Remus said quietly, putting an arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Yeah, it is," James said. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly for a second, and then left the Common Room, kicking every chair he walked past on his way out.

There was silence for a minute, in which Remus held onto Lily as she cried, and Marlene and Sirius stared at each other, trying to process what had happened. Eventually, Sirius spoke.

"I'll go," he said, his voice kinder than it had been all week. "I know you want to look after him, but I'm actually kind of worried he might hurt you if you speak to him right now...and you should probably be with Lily anyway."

"Okay," Marlene said, biting her lip. "Um...can you.."

"I'll send you an owl once I've calmed him down."

"Thankyou."

Sirius gave her a strange look before turning to follow James out of the room. Marlene took a deep breath and then put her arm back around Lily, murmuring comforting words into her hair and hoping that Alice would know better than she did how to help their friend.

**A/N: Well...yeah, sorry that it's all been so depressing recently. Leave me a review with feedback? I know I've asked this a lot, but although I'm very grateful to all of you who've favourited and followed this story, it would be really great if you could also leave me a quick review to tell me your thoughts. I know most readers choose stories based on reviews rather than follows/favourites, and its a shame when I know you're reading my story but I don't hear anything from you. But thankyou anyway to all of you who are reading. I hope you're still enjoying it and will try to update soon x**


	25. Gryffindor Versus Slytherin

**Chapter Twenty Four, February 1977**

"Lils, come on. We have to go to breakfast today and wish the boys good luck. It's the first Quidditch match of the term. You can't miss it," Alice said for the fifth time.

Lily groaned from her bed and rolled over, pulling her covers over her head. Alice looked at Marlene and gestured that she should try to change Lily's mind. Marlene sighed and sat down at the edge of Lily's bed. She didn't think she'd be able to make any difference. Lily had spent the last two days lying in her bed refusing to leave the dormitory. She didn't want to see James after he had shouted at her, and she definitely didn't want to run into Bertram Aubrey.

"Lily, you should at least come to breakfast," Marlene said, reaching out to pull the covers back from Lily's face. "James isn't going to be cross with you. He'd like to see you. They all would."

"I don't want to see them," Lily said.

"Well, you're going to have to at some point. It might as well be today. Just come to breakfast with us. If you don't want to go to the Quidditch match afterwards we won't make you."

Alice coughed and Marlene shook her head at her. Alice rolled her eyes and turned to face the mirror, starting to paint her face with red and gold stripes ready for the match. Marlene knew Alice wouldn't want to let Lily retreat back to the dormitory instead of coming to watch the match with them, but she thought that getting Lily to leave the room at all would be enough of an achievement for the time being.

"I don't want to sit with the boys," Lily said. She sat up and reluctantly reached for the pair of jeans and Gryffindor jumper Alice had left next to her bed.

"We have to," Alice said. She was now using her wand to spray her hair a glittering gold. "James and Sirius are both on the team. We always sit with them before they play Slytherin. They need support."

"But.."

"No buts," Marlene said, turning to pick up her own Gryffindor jumper. "It'll be good for you. We won't let James ask you out. I promise."

"Okay," Lily said in a small voice, pulling on her clothes.

Alice nodded approvingly and pointed her wand threateningly at Marlene.

"What are you doing?" Marlene finished brushing her hair and raised an eyebrow at Alice.

"You don't look very patriotic," Alice said. "You should be showing your loyalty to your house."

"That's not patriotism, Alice," Lily said. "Patriotism is loyalty to your country."

"Same thing," Alice said.

"I have a Gryffindor scarf and jumper. I'd say it's fairly obvious who I'm supporting," Marlene said.

"Nope. I'm going to paint a lion on your face. Then you'll be ready."

"Alice, I really, really don't want a lion on my face. I'll just put some red lipstick on."

"Fine. I'll paint a lion on Lily's face instead."

"Not if you can't catch me," Lily said, making a dive for the door.

Marlene ran out of the room after Lily, laughing at Alice struggling to run in her high heels. It was good to see Lily laughing. She seemed to have temporarily forgotten about everything that had happened with Bertram, and Marlene hoped that it lasted.

Lily hesitated when they entered the Great Hall, the smile fading on her face. Marlene grabbed her hand and dragged her over to where the Marauders were sitting with Samara and Mary. Samara and Mary were having their own conversation, but it was tradition for all of the Gryffindors in their year to sit together on Quidditch days, especially when they were playing Slytherin.

Marlene sat down between James and Sirius, resisting the temptation to give Sirius a kiss on the cheek, and Lily sat down opposite her, next to Remus. The conversation stopped for a moment when Lily sat down, but Remus glared at the other boys and they carried on talking as if nothing had changed.

"Where's Alice?" Peter said, shoveling waffles into his mouth.

"We left her in the dorm," Marlene said with a shrug. "She was trying to attack us with face paint. We had to run."

"She'll be here soon," Lily said quietly to Peter. Peter looked relieved. He was more comfortable around Alice than with Lily or Marlene.

"A letter came for you, Marly," James said. He took a crumpled envelope out of his pocket and put it down in front of Marlene.

Marlene stopped pouring herself coffee and picked up the envelope. She didn't recognize the writing.

"Has my owl started delivering my post to you instead of me now?"

"Yup," James said with a proud grin. "I've convinced her that I'm her owner, and I've been bribing her with orange juice and owl treats."

"Does she like orange juice?"

"Nah. She nearly attacked him when he tried to feed it to her. You should keep her away from him. It's not safe, for him _or _the owl," Sirius said.

"I try to keep them apart, but he's got this scary stubbornness that makes it almost impossible not to let him have what he wants."

"Evans manages that just fine," Sirius said with a wink across the table at Lily.

Lily sighed and took a dainty bite of her toast, not bothering to respond to Sirius. Marlene laughed and slid open the envelope.

_Hey Marly,_

_I know we don't normally write, but Jack said he hasn't spoken to you recently and I thought I should let you know how he's doing. They've let him out of St Mungos now. He's still not allowed to go back to auror training - they don't want to put him in a stressful environment - but apparently he should be back to normal soon. Dorcas has been looking after him. Gid and I think he's pretending to be more ill than he is so that she takes care of him and doesn't volunteer for any more Order missions for a while. He doesn't want her in danger when he can't protect her._

_Everything's going quite well. Our Molly's trying to get pregnant again. We think she's given up hope of either of us getting married so she's trying to have enough kids for all three of us. Arthur seems a bit worried about having another child. Moll says he's just concerned about money, but we think it's because he doesn't want another Percy in the family (Seriously, the kid's not even a year old and he somehow manages to tell us off for making mess and laughing too loudly). Anyway, Molly's hoping for a girl this time but we all know it's not going to happen. Gid and I are fighting over which of us she names it after._

_Anyway, I don't want to bore you by making you read through a whole essay about my life. I really just wanted to give you an update on Jack, and to tell you it was nice to see you a bit over Christmas. We don't get to see that many people anymore, it's too dangerous, so it was really good to spend some time with somebody other than Gideon and Jack._

_I hope Hogwarts is good. If you fancy a chat I'm always here to write back. Let me know how you are._

_Love,_

_Fabian x_

Marlene smiled at the letter, reading it over once more before folding it in half and putting it in the pocket of her jeans. It felt good to have somebody outside of Hogwarts who wanted to be her friend. She loved all of her friends, but it was a relief to have somebody she could talk to that didn't know about everything that had happened with Sirius.

"Who's the letter from?" James stabbed Marlene's arm with his fork, demanding a response.

"Ow, stop it. Does it matter?" Marlene pulled the fork out of James' hand and put it down where he couldn't reach it.

"Yeah. You put it away before I could read it." James picked up Marlene's fork instead and poked her with that.

"It was from Fabian. He was just checking up on me and telling me how Jack's doing," Marlene said, grabbing the second fork and taking it away from James.

"Oh. Okay. That's less exciting than I thought it might be," James said, trying to pick up bits of pancake with his knife so that he didn't have to ask for his fork back.

"Is something going on with you and Prewett then?" Sirius was pouring orange juice while he spoke, and intently watched his glass fill up while he spoke, instead of looking at Marlene.

"What? No. He's my brother's friend. He's just being friendly," Marlene said, trying not to read anything into Sirius' question. "Hey, Alice."

Alice sat down next to Peter and stole one of his waffles. She had painted a large lion on top of the red and gold stripes on her face, and was scowling at Lily.

"Nice house spirit. That's what I like to see," James said, nodding approvingly at Alice's face paint.

"That's what I tried to tell these two, but they ran away before I could make them show their patriotism," Alice said.

"Prongs, it's time," Sirius breathed, sitting up a bit straighter.

"Time for what?" Alice said, looking at Marlene, who shrugged.

"Watch," James said. He nodded towards the door, where Bertram Aubrey had entered the room with his Quidditch team.

Aubrey was the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, and was leading the other players into the Hall, all of them carrying their broomsticks in front of them.

"3...2...1," Sirius whispered. Marlene felt both James and Sirius pull their wands out of their pockets, although they kept them under the table where they weren't visible to anybody else. Across the table, Remus looked like he was concentrating hard, and she guessed that he was also involved.

Aubrey sat down next to Regulus Black at the Slytherin table. The girl on his other side giggled when he sat down, and Marlene watched them exchange a few words. Aubrey flexed his muscles and the girl squeezed his arm and beckoned for her friend to do the same. Aubrey smirked, lifting his other arm so they could have one each.

"Eurgh, can his head _get _any bigger," Alice said. Her scowl was back but was no longer directed at Lily.

"I don't know," James muttered, turning to Sirius. "Can it?"

Alice let out a giggle as Aubrey's head slowly started to expand. The girls surrounding him didn't notice for a few minutes, until one of them pointed at him and let out a scream. Aubrey touched his head, standing up and looking around the room, trying to understand what was happening. He saw the Gryffindors laughing and took an angry step towards their table, but instead found himself starting to float into the air.

"Do something!" Aubrey shouted, and one of the girls he had been talking to tried to grab his foot as he was levitated higher and higher. She was briefly lifted from the floor with him, and let go, screaming her apologies as he grew closer and closer to the ceiling. His head was now at least twice the size it had been when it had started growing, and large boils were starting to appear on his face.

"That's disgusting," Remus said, frowning at Sirius when Aubrey's boils started to burst, dripping greenish pus down his enormous head. Wherever the pus landed, more boils sprung up.

"_Stop! _What is the meaning of this? Somebody get him down," Professor McGonagall said, standing up from the staff table. Next to her, Dumbledore was chuckling quietly.

"Mr Aubrey! What is going on?" McGonagall strode across the Hall until she was standing almost directly underneath Aubrey.

Aubrey opened his mouth to shout something, glaring down at the Marauders, but when he spoke the language that came out of his mouth wasn't anything Marlene recognized.

"Is he speaking _troll_?" Lily covered her mouth to hide her laugh.

"Seems appropriate. Whoever's doing this clearly knows he doesn't behave any better than a troll. This is an extraordinarily brilliant prank," Sirius said, turning back to his bacon as if he had nothing to do with the spectacle.

"Yeah. The people behind this must be pretty intelligent and hilarious," James said, nodding seriously.

"You know what, Prongs? He doesn't look like he's going to manage to play in the match," Sirius said. His eyes were wide as if he was disappointed, but he was grinning widely.

"Merlin, you're right. What a shame. They're going to have to play with a sub instead of their Captain," James said. "How unfortunate. Speaking of Quidditch, we should probably get going. I've got an extra special long captain speech ready for you guys."

"I look forward to it," Sirius said, stuffing his mouth with as much bacon as he could fit into it and then standing up.

James stood on the Gryffindor table. "TEAM! Outside! We've got some snakes to beat."

The Gryffindors broke out into cheers as they watched their team leave the Hall, laughing at Aubrey as they passed him, bobbing up and down in the air.

"Shall we go and get seats? I want to all sit together," Alice said. She had buttered four pieces of toast and was wrapping them up in a napkin to bring them to the game.

"Yeah, we might as well," Remus said. "You ready, Wormy?"

Peter nodded and the four of them stood up. Alice looked pointedly at Samara Brookes, who sighed and then followed them with Mary MacDonald.

* * *

"_And that's 70-20 to Gryffindor, as Peakes scores again. Now, there was some debate over the team Potter's put together this year. A lot of their really brilliant players graduated at the end of last year - I mean, come on guys, this was the team that had players like MCKINNON, LONGBOTTOM, PREWETT AND PREWETT!"_

The stadium exploded into cheers.

"_So yeah, a hard act for new captain James Potter to beat, but I have to say, I really do, he's done brilliantly. I mean, take Peakes. Look at that girl go! Twelve years old and up there with the best. Damn. I wish I could fly like that. Peakes passes to Moran, who's been one of the team's star chasers for the last four years, and Moran shoots...she shoots, she SCORES! 80-20 to Gryffindor! Of course, Moran's brilliant. She's already been scouted for several professional teams...they're just waiting for her to graduate and choose who she wants to play with."_

Kaitlyn Moran punched the air in response to screams of support from the crowd, and then dived to catch the quaffle from James, who had dropped it down to her.

"_Gryffindor's taken an early lead in this match, folks. 60 points ahead and we're only 30 minutes in! Of course, they've been helped by the incapacitation of the Slytherin keeper and captain, Bertram Aubrey, who is currently speaking troll in the hospital wing and couldn't play today."_

Marlene laughed along with the Gryffindor supporters, helping to drown out the indignant shouts from the Slytherins. Next to her, Mary and Samara had started a chant of support for James, which was slowly being picked up by the people around them. Lily seemed delighted about Bertram's fate, and was giggling through the commentary.

"_They've got Wilkes up there playing today instead. He joined the Slytherin team as a sub this year, and this is the first time he's played a real match, so we can't blame him for letting in so many shots from the FANTASTIC Gryffindor chasers. And would you look at that, Potter's got the quaffle again and is ZOOMING towards the goal. Look out for that bludger, James! Nice beater work there from Sirius Black, who sends Bole's bludger back to the Slytherin chasers, forcing them to scatter. Potter shoots, AND HE SCORES! THIS IS QUIDDITCH LIKE HOGWARTS HAVEN'T SEEN FOR YEARS! Gryffindor leads by 70 points, 35 minutes into the game. If Andrews can catch the snitch soon Gryffindor will have a well deserved win."_

"They're really brilliant, aren't they? James is a really good captain," Lily said, her eyes shining.

"Yeah. They're great," Marlene said, standing on tiptoes to cheer a particularly good bludger hit from Sirius.

"Did you not want to try out this year? I thought you loved Quidditch."

"Maybe next year. I wasn't really feeling up to it at the beginning of the year."

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I completely forgot."

"_AND PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL IS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE QUIDDITCH PITCH! Who knows why? Does she want to offer some extra support for the Gryffindors? They're doing well enough without you, Professor, but I guess it's the thought that counts. Nope, it doesn't look like she's there to wish them luck. She actually looks quite angry. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON? The Gryffindor team is being called down to the ground. Ah, c'mon professor, don't ruin the game."_

"What's she doing?" Alice looked furious as she watched the Gryffindor team land in a circle around Professor McGonagall.

"I don't know. She doesn't look happy though," Marlene said.

"_WELL, it looks like the head of Gryffindor is sending off some of the Gryffindor players! SERIOUSLY, PROFESSOR? WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF MERCY? WE NEED THEM! Okay, my pleas are falling on deaf ears. Apparently a certain someone in the hospital wing has regained his use of English, and is blaming our very own Mr Potter and Mr Black for his plight! I KNOW! It's not OUR fault that the Slytherin captain is a terrible human being and deserves to live the rest of his life as a troll...no offence intended...but now Gryffindor have lost two of their best players. How's' this going to end?"_

"Oh no. This is all my fault," Lily said, biting her nails.

"What? How is it your fault?" Alice looked incredulous.

"They only did it for me, to get revenge for what he did to me...and now they're not allowed to play their match. James is going to hate me even more than he already does.

"Don't be stupid. They hated him anyway. They'll think jinxing him was worth missing the match for. And James couldn't hate you if he tried," Marlene said.

"It's a shame, though," Alice said, frowning as the remaining members of the Gryffindor team flew back into the air. "James didn't find any subs. They're going to have to play with five players."

"_And the match continues! Can the Gryffindor team maintain their lead now that they're two players down? Things are looking promising. Moran's in possession, passes to Peakes, who dodges a bludger from Slytherin beater Alexis and passes back to Moran. Moran's about to shoot and...damn, is hit by a bludger from Bole and drops the quaffle. COME ON, BELL! YOU'RE THE ONLY BEATER GRYFFINDOR HAS! DEFEND YOUR PLAYERS! Montague in possession, he passes the quaffle to Jacobs, who, haha, accidentally drops it into Moran's arms. And now Moran's heading back in the other direction. COME ON KAITLYN"_

"They're still the much better team, even without two of their players," Alice said, cheering on Kaitlyn.

"Yeah. Kaitlyn and Louisa are good even without James," Marlene said without looking away from the players.

"_OUCH! Moran gets hit by another bludger from Alexis. Bell flies up to defend her. OH, AND BOTH SLYTHERIN BEATERS ARE NOW AIMING FOR LUCY ANDREWS, GRYFFINDOR SEEKER! Shameful tactics. Gryffindor only has one beater to defend her, and right now he's on the other side of the pitch! FLY, BELL, FLY! WE BELIEVE IN YOU! I BELIEVE YOU CAN FLY! YOU CAN DO...ouch, Andrews has been hit. That shoulder looks dislocated. Luckily she normally catches with her right arm. She's doing a good job avoiding the bludgers they're sending at her, but who knows how much longer she can last."_

"This is horrible," Lily said, staring at Lucy Andrews as she spun upside down to avoid a bludger that would have hit her head. "How's she going to keep avoiding them? They could kill her."

"They won't kill her. Don't be stupid," Alice said.

"Might seriously injure her, though," Marlene said with a frown.

Bell had now dived to hover next to Andrews, doing his best to hit the bludgers away from her, but he wasn't as good a beater as Sirius, and was outnumbered.

"_How much longer can this go on for? Keep going, Bell! Surely the snakes will take mercy and aim somewhere else...NO! SOMEONE CATCH HER! BELL, YOU IDIOT, DON'T JUST HOVER THERE! SHE NEEDS SOMEONE TO CATCH HER!_"

Lucy was spinning to the ground, unconscious after the sickening crunch that had sounded through the stadium when a bludger collided with her head. Her broom was still in the air next to Bell, who looked like he was in shock and seemed incapable of moving.

Alice swore loudly and two seventh year girls sitting behind them were crying.

"_And Moran dives. Merlin, I've never seen anyone fly so fast. She looks like she might crash...She catches Andrews! SHE'S GOT HER! ANDREWS IS NOT DEAD, PEOPLE! Madam Pomfrey's there. She's conjuring a stretcher. Looks like Andrews isn't going to be playing the rest of the game. Dirty snakes. CAN WE HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR KAITLYN MORAN, OUR SAVIOUR! "_

Kaitlyn looked embarrassed as the crowd cheered for her. She mounted her broom, catching the quaffle Peakes through to her as soon as she was back in the air, and shooting it through the left hoop of the goal.

"She's brilliant. She'll end up playing for a national team," Marlene said.

"_AND MORAN SCORES! Gryffindor are still winning, 80 to 20. HA, TAKE THAT SLYTHERIN. OOOO, and now Peakes is shooting...SHE SCORES TOO. GRYFFINDOR ARE NOW THREE PLAYERS DOWN BUT ARE STILL WINNING BY SEVENTY POINTS! SHAME ON YOU, SNAKES. SHAME ON YOU. Wait, what's Zabini doing? He's diving. He looks like he might have seen the snitch. He's...ah, fuck. Slytherin win...170 to 90. It's a cruel world. I mean, we all know Gryffindor are the better team. Andrews would have caught that if Black had still been there to protect her from those pesky bludgers, but I guess we'll have to wait till next match to see justice being served through a Gryffindor victory."_

* * *

"James, if you're going to cry, make it quick. I haven't seen you cry since we were nine," Marlene said. She had found James in the Common Room after the match, sitting next to the fire with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Sirius was sat in another chair, watching James as if he might explode.

"I'm not going to cry," James said, sticking out his lower lip.

"Good. It's only Quidditch."

"Marly, you're still my best friend, so this one time I'm going to let it slide...but if I ever hear you say the words _only Quidditch _again we're going to have to kick you out of the group."

"I'll bear that in mind." Marlene swung her legs up onto the sofa so they were over James' lap, and leaned back into the cushions behind her. "It was a good match. You've set up a great team."

"Yeah. We should have won."

"You nearly did. If they hadn't figured out that Lucy was the one to take out you know she would have caught the snitch. And your chasers are much better. You can still win the cup."

"Maybe. If Ravenclaw beats Slytherin, and we beat Hufflepuff by more than 80 points..." James looked hopeful.

"Exactly. And if it doesn't happen this year we'll make sure it does next year," Sirius said, grinning at his friend.

"I suppose so. Sucks that we lost, though. I thought we had it in the bag."

Lily approached the sofa, looking nervous. James looked at her but didn't stand up. She was fiddling with her hands and looking down at the floor.

"You got something to say, Evans?" Sirius was grinning at the awkwardness. Marlene frowned at him.

"Um...look, James, I just wanted to apologize," Lily said, then lifted her hand to her face so she could bite her nails while she waited for James to say something.

"What for, Evans?" James watched Lily trying to find the right words.

"For not listening to anyone about Bertram. I...if I had, none of this wouldn't have happened. I know you did what you did because of me, and it meant you lost the match. So...yeah, this is all my fault, and I'm sorry."

James sighed. "Don't be silly. You didn't ask us to do it. Aubrey's an idiot and I'd do it again if I had the choice."

"Okay," Lily looked relieved. "Well, thankyou, for what you did. I'm sorry you got caught."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and James smiled.

"Thankyou for apologizing. You want to sit down? I'm sure Marly can move up."

Marlene scowled at James, but she swung her legs round and shuffled down the sofa, letting Lily sit down between her and James. James put his arm around Lily's shoulders and she didn't shrug him off. Sirius caught Marlene's eye and raised an eyebrow. Marlene gave a tiny shrug and they both stood up to sit with Peter and Alice instead, leaving James and Lily alone to talk.

* * *

**A/N: IF YOU REVIEW I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND BE VERY GRATEFUL AND HAPPY AND WILL UPDATE SOON**


	26. February

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I've been struggling with writers block and despite having had all my chapters planned for a long time, this one seemed especially hard to write. Still not completely happy with it but figured it was about time I updated.**

* * *

**13th February, 1977**

Remus frowned and scratched his quill across the parchment, crossing out another sentence that didn't satisfy him. Marlene moaned and stretched back on the sofa, briefly closing her eyes.

"It can't be _that _bad. I spent ages on it," she said, opening one eye to look at him hopefully.

"It's not bad. It would definitely pass. But you said you were disappointed with your E last year. To get an O in Defence it's not enough to get everything right. You have to know all the extra details as well," Remus said. He crossed out another word and then got up, sitting back down next to Marlene to show her the now much edited essay.

"How come you know all the details? It's not like any of us have ever met a werewolf," Marlene said, snatching the essay from Remus to see what he'd added.

"Some of us actually read the textbook," Lily said from her seat on the other side of the table Remus had been sat at. "You know, that book you like to leave in your trunk for the whole year? Remus is brilliant at memorizing all the tiny things you and Alice claim aren't important."

"Yeah," Remus said. There was a strange expression in his eyes. He looked almost like he was _relieved, _but Marlene didn't know why anything she had said could have worried him. "You have to concentrate in the lessons and then read over the relevant textbook chapters afterwards. To get the top marks, you need to make sure you then remember all of it."

"But that's no fun at all."

"It'll get you the grades, though. Look, like this sentence here...you've said that muggles often think silver can be used against werewolves. You're right to say that it's just a rumor, and it's a good point to make. Lots of witches and wizards still hope that wearing silver amulets can protect them. So well done for mentioning it, but if you want to get an O this is an ideal place to mention that silver _can _be used in conjunction with dittany to close up wounds given by wolves. It's not a cure for lycanthropy but it can still be useful when treating werewolf bites. It's an extra detail that'll show you know more than the bare minimum."

"That's a really good point," Lily said, looking up again. "I don't think I got that. Where did you read about silver and dittany? I don't remember that." She flicked through her notes, looking panicked.

"Don't worry about it. I don't think it was in the Defence stuff. I might have read about it in Potions when I was researching dittany? It doesn't really matter, anyway. It's a useful thing to know and will get you some extra marks," Remus said.

"Okay. I'll put it in. Have we finished now?" Marlene yawned and leaned over Remus' shoulder to see the edited essay.

"I think so," Remus said. He looked hurt. "I was just trying to help. You said you were worried about your Defence."

"I know I did. Thankyou," Marlene said. She felt guilty. Remus had been extremely kind to her the last few weeks, frowning at Sirius whenever he made tactless comments about other girls, and making sure he was around to sit with her when James was at Quidditch practice. She had been spending a lot of time studying with him and Lily, and although part of her agreed with Alice that studying was more boring than looking after a flobberworm, she knew her grades were improving because of his help.

"Right. I'm done too," Lily said, putting down her quill with a satisfied smile. "Shall I go and hand these in? I need a word with Dearborn anyway. I want him to give the prefects instruction in shield charms. Too many of them have been getting intercepted by Slytherins during rounds. Remus and I had a confrontation with Avery and Snape the other day."

"Good plan," Remus said with a yawn. "I should probably come with you then."

"Don't worry about it. You look exhausted. I'll take your essay for you."

"Are you sure? Thanks, Lil. I'm shattered. I think I'm going to get an early night," Remus said, pulling out a tightly rolled scroll from his bag and passing it to Lily.

"Well, you shouldn't let them persuade you to stay out so late," Lily said, but she took the scroll. The Marauders had disappeared somewhere the night before, and although all of them were tired, Remus looked physically ill.

"Maybe," Remus said, suppressing another yawn.

"Go to bed. I'll be fine by myself. You too, Marls. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. You know you want to look your best."

"Sure I do. I'll try my very hardest to impress my non-existent boyfriend."

"Stop whining. It's your own fault you and Sirius aren't together anymore. You can't now decide it's making you unhappy."

"But I'm so aloneeee."

"Go to bed, Marly. I'm going to hand in our essays."

* * *

**14th February, 1977**

"LILY, I THINK I LOVE YOU,

I'VE KNOWN IT FROM THE START,

YOU CAN HAVE MY WAND, MY SPELLS, MY MAGIC,

AND YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE MY HEART.

LILY YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,

MORE LOVELY THAN THE SUN,

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN QUIDDITCH,

SO YOU MUST BE THE ONE.

PLEASE KEEP THIS CARD BESIDE YOU,

DON'T THROW IT IN THE LAKE,

I HOPE ONE DAY YOU'LL COME TO ME,

AND SWEET, SWEET LOVE WE'LL MAKE."

"What the fuck is that?" Marlene sat up, rubbing her eyes, and looked over at Lily, who was sat on her bed with her head in her hands.

"Looks like James decided to give her a homemade card this year," Alice said. She stood up and took a bright pink folded sheet of paper out of Lily's hands. "He's even done his own drawings. Look, Lils, this is you and him on your wedding day."

"Take it away," Lily groaned. "Why would he think this was a good idea?"

"He's an idiot?" Marlene suggested. Alice passed her the card and she opened it again, wincing at the volume James' voice exploded out of it with.

"I COULD MAKE YOU HAPPY,

GIVE ME A CHANCE AND YOU WILL SEE,

THAT WE CAN START OUR LIVES ANEW,

WITH YOU HERE NEXT TO ME.

OUR BABIES WILL BE HANDSOME,

AND WE WILL LIVE LIKE KINGS,

I'LL BUY YOU A NEW BROOMSTICK,

AND LOTS OF PRETTY THINGS.

WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE,

AND SIT WITH ME TO EAT,

I'LL GIVE YOU ALL MY BACON,

AND BOW AND KISS YOUR FEET."

Alice mimed throwing up and Lily buried her face in her hands again.

"I reckon he must have been drunk when he wrote this," Marlene said, turning the card over in her hands to look at the drawings that coated the cardboard. "He's stupid but _surely _not this stupid."

"Go and find out. It looks like he sent you a card anyway. You can thank him for it," Alice said, nodding at Marlene's bedside table, where a small white envelope lay next to a single red rose.

"I'll go and see him. Can I take this with me, Lil?" Marlene waved the card at Lily.

"Yeah. Take it as far away as is magically possible," Lily said.

"I'll try my best." Marlene picked up her own valentine's card and put it into her dressing gown pocket. She could hear Alice humming James' song as she left the room, and laughed at Lily's indignant shrieks. James always seemed to view Valentine's Day as a chance to outdo his own idiocy from the previous year, and he had definitely succeeded this time.

The boys' dormitory was quiet, with all four boys still asleep. Marlene tried not to feel anything when she saw the small mountain of cards piled up next to Sirius' bed, accompanied by several balloons and bunches of flowers. She resisted the temptation to get rid of them with a well aimed vanishing charm, and satisfied herself with jumping on top of James' legs instead.

"OW," James sat up straight away, tipping Marlene off the bed with his movement.

"Sorry," Marlene said casually, climbing back onto the bed to lie next to him. "I wanted to talk."

"About what? Are you okay?" James was still scowling, but she could see concern underneath his anger.

"I thought we should discuss this," Marlene said. She picked up Lily's card and opened it next to James' ear.

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU NAKED,

I THINK IT WOULD BE NICE,

MY OBSESSION WITH YOUR BEAUTY,

IS PERHAPS MY ONLY VICE."

"Ah," James said, chewing his lip.

Across the room, Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter.

"You actually sent it to her? Prongs, we let you make that as a joke," Sirius said, sitting up in his bed.

"You told me it was a fantastic idea and was guaranteed to make her fall for me," James said, glaring at his best friend.

"Sirius, why would you do that? You know he does anything you say," Marlene said.

"It was an experiment," Sirius said with a yawn, picking up the first envelope from his stack of love letters and ripping it open. "To see whether he was capable of thinking for himself."

"And you didn't already know the answer to that question? You're as bad as he is."

"Chill, McKinnon. It was a laugh. Nobody got hurt."

"I think you've hurt James' chances with Lily pretty badly."

"What? Dammit," James said, pulling Marlene into him for a hug. "I thought this would make her want me."

"Honey, you wrote a terrible song with some fairly inappropriate lyrics that woke up our whole dorm this morning. It's definitely not going to make her want you."

"Fine. Here, I got you a card too. It doesn't sing, though," James said. He opened the drawer of his bedside table and took out a card. A photograph had been carefully stuck to the front, showing a five year old James taking a tentative lick of an ice cream before mashing it into a young Marlene's face. Marlene watched as her younger self repeatedly started to cry, setting James' tears off next to her. He always used to make her cry by accident, and would immediately burst into tears himself when he realised he had upset her.

"Aw, we were quite cute," Marlene said. "I thought you left me a card in my room? Did you get me two this year?" She rummaged in her dressing gown pocket and found the envelope that had been next to her bed.

"Nah. Only got you one, I'm afraid. That's not my handwriting anyway."

"Oh yeah. I just assumed it was from you."

"Nope." James snatched the envelope from Marlene and opened it. She tried to grab it back from him but he held her back with one arm and read the card while holding it an arms length away from him on his other side. "Why's Fabian Prewett sent you a Valentine's card?"

"I don't know. Maybe I could answer that question if you'd let me read my _own card._"

"Do you like him?"

"James..."

"He's been writing to you a lot recently, hasn't he? What's going on? Does Jack know?"

"James, seriously..."

"Because I should tell Jack. He really should know. Fab's like, one of his best friends in the world. And you're his little sister, and..."

"SHUT UP. Nothing's going on with Fabian Prewett. We're friends, and he writes to me because I'm Jack's sister and he wants to make sure I'm okay. Stop being a pain. Can I have my card?"

"Fine," James said, shoving the card back into Marlene's hands and sticking his tongue out. "You better be grateful."

"Thankyou, James dearest. So kind of you to return _my _letter to _me _after you've read it and refused to let me see."

"You're welcome." James lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. Marlene opened the card.

_Dear Marly,_

_I wasn't sure you'd be getting any post today after what happened with Sirius, and I very strongly believe that you deserve to have a Valentine, so I thought I should fix that. You're wonderful, don't let anybody make you feel like you're not._

_Fabian xx_

"What does it say?" Sirius' voice was quiet, and he was concentrating on pulling his socks on as he spoke.

"It's nothing. Just a letter," Marlene said, leaning back into James.

"So you two aren't..."

"Did you not just hear me go through this with James? Nothing's happening."

"Right. Prongs, Moony, I'm going to breakfast with Wormy. Hurry up and get dressed."

Peter squeaked and rushed to follow Sirius out of the room, still wearing his pyjamas and slippers. Marlene let out a quiet laugh, but there was something sad about watching his desperation to please his friends. Neither James nor Remus seemed to notice so she didn't say anything. She supposed it was normal now for Peter to do whatever Sirius told him to.

"He's not happy," Remus said, opening the curtains around his bed. He was fully dressed, and Marlene felt bad for turning up in his dorm uninvited, forcing him to get dressed in bed.

"He's got no right to be annoyed," she said. "He's slept with half this castle since we broke up. I'm allowed to get a Valentine's card from a friend."

"Maybe. Just be careful. You hurt him when you ended it."

"He doesn't seem too badly hurt. He's got a fairly substantial stack of cards himself."

"Look, tell yourself whatever you want. It's not my job to fix you two."

"We're fine. No need to fix what isn't broken. Sirius and I are friends."

"Glad to hear it. I'll see you guys at breakfast. Don't let Prongs go back to sleep."

* * *

By lunchtime, Marlene had decided she'd had enough of Valentine's Day. Frank had been sending Alice a bunch of flowers every half an hour to make up for the fact he couldn't spend the day with her, and all four of the Marauders had been followed around by a giggling group of girls hoping to be asked on a date. She spent her lunch break sitting in the dormitory with Lily, who was equally keen to avoid the overflow of pink confetti and heart shaped balloons that seemed to fill the school.

"Today can't end soon enough," Lily said, biting into one of the bright pink cakes the house elves had given them when they'd gone to the kitchens instead of facing lunch in the Great Hall.

"Couldn't agree with you more," Marlene said. She picked the icing off her cake, scowling at the edible glitter embedded in the cake.

"Surely it wouldn't have hurt Bertram to wait another fortnight before revealing the full extent of his dickishness. I came so close to actually having a date for Valentine's."

"You don't mean that. It's a good thing you realised the full extent of his dickishness when you did. Wouldn't have done anybody any good to stay with him longer."

"I'd say I realised it a bit too late, if we're being honest."

"Better late than never."

"Regardless, it's left me feeling like an unattractive single freak on the one day of the year that everybody seems to couple up. What kind of loser can't even get a date for Valentines?"

"Um...thanks, Lil." Marlene screwed up her cupcake wrapper and threw it in the bin. She picked up a chocolate frog from the small pile in front of them and bit into its head.

"Oh no, I didn't mean you."

"Sure you didn't."

"I really didn't. You're single by _choice_, Mars. That's completely different. Anyway, Amos Diggory was blatantly checking you out in Charms this morning, and you got two cards so you don't count as an unattractive single freak."

"Amos Diggory is repulsive, and don't try to tell me getting cards makes me less pathetic than you. You got a card too."

"That was not a card. That was a...monstrosity." Lily glared at James' card, which was squashed under her trunk so that it wouldn't keep opening itself and singing. She had tried to bin it, but every time she threw it away it somehow found its way back to her bed. Eventually she'd given up and decided to hide it instead.

"Don't be mean. James put a lot of effort into that ca.."

"Shut up."

"You didn't need to shout at him all through breakfast. I think the whole school heard."

"The whole school also heard his stupid song when his stupid card followed me all the way to the stupid Great Hall after you left it in stupid James' stupid room."

"Sorry, Lil. I didn't realised you thought it was stupid." Marlene smirked and Lily frowned and started to braid her hair.

"I know he wasn't trying to upset me, but he needs to grow up. It was embarrassing."

"He's really sorry about it. He's tried to apologize like fifty times already today."

"I know. But it's only a matter of time before he does something else that's equally idiotic."

"That may be true. Anyway, lunch is nearly over. We should get to Defence. I wouldn't want it to be my fault that the great Lily Evans is late for class."

"Shut up," Lily said, but she was smiling.

* * *

Professor Dearborn paced back and forth at the front of the classroom, pausing every other word to glare at the class sitting in front of him. He looked tired and kept running one hand through his greying hair.

"I don't know what else to say. You all know how important this subject is...you're not just studying for your NEWTs here. You need these skills if you want to stay alive once you've left school. None of you are stupid...you all realise that you need to be doing well, but half of you still failed this last essay!"

Next to Marlene, Alice shrank back in her chair, picking bits of nail varnish off her fingers. She had rushed the essay the previous night, and Marlene knew she was probably one of the people that had failed. Marlene caught Remus' eye and he gave her a reassuring nod.

"I set you this essay for a reason. You all know what's going on outside the castle grounds. You Know Who is building up an army, an army that wants to kill you all."

Samara Brookes let out a small gasp, and Dearborn scowled at her.

"Don't look surprised. This isn't new information I'm giving you. I don't think _any _of you are people that the death eaters will want to leave alone, so you NEED TO BE ABLE TO DEFEND YOURSELVES. We've been hearing rumours that You Know Who's getting werewolves on his side. He's a clever...well, I hesitate to call him a man, but he's clever. He knows that his army will be stronger if he employs dark creatures as well as witches and wizards, and werewolves are one of his first choices."

Dearborn paused, and nodded to James, who had put his hand up as soon as werewolves had been mentioned.

"Don't you think that's a bit prejudiced of you, sir? You shouldn't be trying to get us to fear werewolves. They're people just like the rest of us, and they deserve to be treated as such. Maybe some of them are evil, like some people are evil, but it's not because they've been bitten. We shouldn't be calling them 'dark creatures,' or seeing them as threats."

"That's very noble of you, Mr Potter," Dearborn said, taking a step towards James and Sirius' desk. Sirius opened his mouth to say something else in support of werewolves, but Dearborn interrupted him. "Yes. Werewolves are people, but for one day each month we are right to call them dark creatures. We can be benevolent, and only think of the rest of the month, but that's not what the dark side are doing. He Who Must Not Be Named sees that one day, and sees an opportunity for a weapon. Werewolves have been gravely mistreated in our society, and many of them see no reason not to turn against us if they think using their lycanthropy can improve their lifestyle."

"Well, no offence sir, but maybe instead of learning about all the ways that werewolves are evil etc etc, we should focus on offering them a better life that doesn't involve joining that lunatic," Sirius said, slamming his fist on the table. "If we bothered to be kind to them, and treated them the way they deserve to be treated, they wouldn't turn against us."

"That might have been a good idea...if we'd got to them first, but Professor Dumbledore has it on good authority that the time for negotiation is over. The werewolves that have chosen to join You Know Who have been offered things our side simply cannot give them...money...companionship...victims..."

"NOT ALL WEREWOLVES WANT VICTIMS," James shouted. Marlene didn't know why he was insisting on arguing against Dearborn, but she could see that he was getting upset.

"I DID NOT SAY THEY DID," Dearborn shouted over him. "With all due respect, Mr Potter, you need to control your emotions and attempt to see reason. Nobody in this room has suggested that the werewolf community as a whole is an evil thing that needs to be stopped. I am not making claims against werewolves in general. I would be stupid to do so in present company, and I will passionately disagree with anybody who argues in such a way."

James took deep breaths, but still looked furious. Sirius was gripping his arm tightly but didn't look much calmer. Marlene looked over at Remus, and was surprised to see him staring determinedly at his textbook instead of following the discussion. She wondered why he didn't want to listen to Dearborn. It was unlike him not to concentrate, especially in Defence.

"However, you would be a complete idiot if you refused to believe that at least _some _werewolves are indeed out to hurt you," Dearborn continued. "_Some _werewolves are very much on the wrong side, and if you encounter them you will need to know how to defend yourself. There is a group of werewolves who choose to place themselves near specific victims at full moon. It is werewolves like these that you need to learn to fear. I am told that they're led by one who calls himself Fenrir Greyback."

There was a loud clatter as Remus dropped his textbook and quill onto the floor. He turned bright red and muttered a quiet apology, bending to pick up his belongings.

"I'm not telling you all of this to frighten you. I simply want you to see why the essay I asked you to complete was so important. Hopefully you now understand why I'm so disappointed in the four of you that failed. I'll expect you to rewrite the whole paper and hand it in to me by tomorrow morning. Class dismissed."

Dearborn flicked his wand, and the pile of essays in front of him flew out to their respective writers. Marlene winced as her marked essay landed in front of her. She had felt good about what she'd written after Remus had helped her, but Dearborn's monologue had frightened her. Next to her, Alice swore and screwed up her own essay, and Lily put her essay away in her bag without saying anything.

"Miss McKinnon. I was impressed by your work this week," Dearborn said quietly. Marlene jumped at his voice, but calmed down when she saw his reassuring smile.

"Oh, thankyou." She looked down at her essay, and almost laughed when she saw the large, red 'O' at the top of the page.

"It showed a big improvement."

"Remus helped me out."

"Well, whatever helped you write that essay, keep doing it. If you keep getting marks like this you'll be able to give your brother a run for his money, and he's one of the best duelers I've seen in a _long _time."

"Okay. I'll keep trying. Thanks, Sir."

Marlene packed away quickly, wanting to catch up with Remus in the corridor. She rushed out of the classroom, and saw him about to turn the corner at the end of the corridor.

"Remus! OI, REMUS!"

Marlene ran after him and threw her arms around his neck. He patted her on the back awkwardly, and she laughed and let go of him.

"I got an O! I've never got an O in Defence before. Thanks for all your help. You're brilliant."

"Oh, um, thanks." Remus looked embarrassed, and Marlene took a step back from him, suddenly aware of how many people were looking at them as they walked past.

"Well, I just wanted to say thankyou. I'll, erm, see you at dinner I guess."

She turned and walked away, still smiling about her grade. She knew that Dearborn was right. The subject was more important than it had ever been before, and she needed to be doing well. She sped up her walking, seeing Lily and Alice at the other end of the corridor and wanting to catch up, and jumped when someone grabbed her arm.

"What the...oh, hey Amos."

"Hi." Amos gave her a strange look, as if he was surprised she'd spoken, although he was still gripping her sleeve so had clearly intended for her to stop.

"What do you want?" Marlene hadn't spoken to Amos Diggory since they had drunkenly got together in a broom cupboard halfway through fifth year. He'd been incredibly awkward about it the next day and she had quickly lost patience trying to tell him it had been a mistake. Usually, she'd feel bad for being so abrupt with him, but with one word he'd already managed to remind her why he annoyed her so much.

"I just...are you and Lupin together now, then?"

"Um, what?"

"I thought...I mean, I wanted to speak to you, and then I saw you hug him...and it's Valentine's Day and everything and..."

"Ew, stop talking. No. Nothing's happening between Remus and I. I just broke up with one of his best friends, and even if Sirius didn't know him I can't see Remus ever being more than a friend."

"Right. Well, that's good then."

Marlene waited for Amos to say something else, bracing herself to reject him and thinking of different reasons why she couldn't have a Valentine's date. Amos continued to stare at his shoes, tapping his toes together, and eventually Marlene sighed and turned away.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry for making you wait so long for such an uneventful chapter. I was going to have the next chapter as part of this one but this bit ended up much longer than I thought it would so I decided to split them up. Leave me a review if you're still reading. I realised that if everyone who followed this story had reviewed each chapter I'd already be well over 1000 reviews. It would be nice if the number of reviews I had reflected the number of reads/follows. Thanks to all of you who are still here, I won't leave you so long next time xx**


	27. Growing Up

**March, 1977**

"Detention, Mr Potter. Transfiguring a classmate into a flobberworm may be impressive magic, but it is certainly not permitted in my classroom."

"But Minnie...I was just trying to prove I could do it. You said none of us would manage human Transfiguration until next year. I wanted..."

"To show off. I will expect you in my office after dinner this evening."

Professor McGonagall flicked her wand, and the flobberworm sitting at the desk in front of her slowly grew back into a scowling Evan Rosier.

"I'd forgotten how ugly he is," Sirius said in a loud, carrying whisper. "Can you turn him into something prettier?"

"You do it. I'm already in detention." James leant back and stretched, seeming not to notice as Rosier started to grow thick, purple fur.

"Mr Potter!"

"What? That wasn't me, Minnie, I swear. I'm not even holding my wand." James lifted his empty hands to demonstrate his innocence.

"Mr Black. You can accompany Mr Potter to his detention tonight." Professor McGonagall didn't even look up to see Sirius' reaction, but he didn't argue. "Now, homework. I will expect two rolls of parchment about the dangers of human transfiguration handed in to me from all of you next lesson. Potter and Black, you two can write an extra roll each about the laws connected to human transfiguration. I think you may find it instructive. Class dismissed."

Marlene waited for Lily at the door, and they left the classroom behind James and Sirius, who were congratulating themselves on their detentions.

"That was entirely unnecessary. Can't you behave yourself for one day?" Lily frowned at James.

"Why would I want to do that, Evans?"

"You've been spending more time _in _detention than out of it."

"That's the way it should be."

"It'll ruin any chances you have of being head boy next year."

"Why would I want to be head boy?" James choked on his laughter and shook his head.

"It's a position of great authority and respect. It would be an honour..."

Marlene stopped listening to Lily's discussion with James, and laughed at Sirius rolling his eyes. He hung back to walk with her.

"I don't know how you put up with it. She's given me a headache after two minutes of conversation, and you have to share a dorm with her," Sirius said, stretching his arms and sending a glare towards Lily.

"Don't be mean," Marlene said, and then frowned when she saw Amos Diggory pushing through the crowd of students towards them. "Can we walk a bit faster? I've been trying to avoid Diggory."

Sirius raised an eyebrow but didn't ask why she wanted to stay away from Amos. "Sure. There's a passage behind the tapestry of Wendolyn the Weird at the end of this corridor. We can cut back to Gryffindor through there."

"How do you find this stuff?"

"Marauder secret."

"Of course." Marlene was about to push the tapestry to one side when she heard Amos' shout.

"Marlene! Wait, I've been trying to catch up with you!" Amos was out of breath.

"Sorry, I didn't see you," Marlene said casually. Sirius let out a bark of laughter that he didn't bother to disguise.

"Never mind. No harm done," Amos said without acknowledging Sirius' presence. "So...I wanted to talk to you about this weekend."

Marlene didn't say anything and waited for him to continue speaking. Amos seemed to have been expecting a reply, but eventually carried on talking.

"It's a Hogsmeade weekend. I thought we could go together."

"Right...um, why?"

Sirius snorted again and Amos glared at him before replying.

"Come on, Mars. We were always good together. I thought we could give it another go."

"I didn't think we ever _were _together," Marlene said, feeling immediately guilty as Amos turned his eyes to the floor. "But I can't do this weekend anyway. It's James' birthday. He wants us all to go to Hogsmeade together and celebrate."

"Oh. That's fine. Maybe another time?"

"Maybe." Marlene knew she wouldn't be taking Diggory up on his offer, but didn't see any reason to disappoint him further.

"I'd say you should skip Potter's birthday and spend the day with me instead, but I think he'd jinx me even worse than he did when he found out we had sex last year."

"Yeah, look, Amos...I don't think anything's going to happen between us."

"What?"

"It wouldn't work."

"Fine." Amos' face was turning red, and Marlene suppressed the guilt rising up in her throat. "Your loss. I can do better than a slut like you anyway."

Marlene blinked, surprised by Amos' aggression. She knew it was because she'd embarrassed him but she still hadn't expected it.

"Sorry. I...I shouldn't have said that," Amos said.

"No." Sirius scowled and pulled Marlene away from Amos. "You shouldn't have. Now get lost. Quickly."

"Fine, fine, no need to get your knickers in a twist, Black. I didn't realise you still wanted her."

"Get out." Sirius took out his wand and pointed it towards Amos' chest. Amos didn't say anything, but backed away quickly and didn't look at them as he left. Sirius looked furious, and Marlene reached out to touch his arm. He flinched and pulled away from her.

* * *

**27th March 1977**

Marlene was woken up by somebody blowing in her ear. She jumped and lashed out, wincing as her fist made contact with something squashy.

"Fuck's sake, Marly. No need to be so aggressive." Sirius held his nose and glared at her reproachfully.

"Why are you here? How did you even get into the girls' dorms?"

"Marauder secret. It's Prongs' birthday. You need to get up."

"It's like five in the morning. Come back at a reasonable time."

"No can do. You need to help Moony and me get rid of all the copies of the Daily Prophet we can find. It's insanely depressing today and we can't let Prongs see it on his birthday."

"What's happened?" Marlene yawned and sat up, drawing her quilt up around her so Sirius couldn't see her too small pyjamas.

"Some muggle massacre." Sirius kept his face expressionless and Marlene winced at how casually he described the murders.

"He'll see it at breakfast anyway."

"We're going to try not to let him. Come on. You're awake now anyway. You can help us."

"Fine. But you're buying me a drink in Hogsmeade later."

"Whatever."

By the time they'd vanished all copies of the Daily Prophet from Gryffindor tower and made their way to breakfast, Marlene, Sirius and Remus were all yawning.

"This better be worth it, Black," Marlene said, pointing her fork at Sirius.

"Trust me, we don't want a depressed James on his birthday," Sirius said through a yawn.

"He's right. You remember in fourth year when we lost a Quidditch match on his birthday? It was horrible." Remus shuddered.

"But I'm so _tired_," Marlene said. She put her head down on the table and Remus rubbed her back consolingly.

"We all are, Marly. We all are."

James' entrance to the Great Hall was accompanied by a loud fanfare and amplified commentary from Peter about how wonderful James was and how lucky the students of Hogwarts were to experience the birthday of such a fabulous person. Remus shook his head as he watched his friend, but Sirius was in hysterics.

"Stop encouraging him." Marlene punched Sirius' arm.

"You're violent today," Sirius said, grabbing Marlene's clenched fist and holding onto it so she couldn't hit him again. She tried not to focus too much on the warmth of his hand around hers.

"You've been more idiotic than usual," Marlene said, laughing when James hugged her.

"What's Padfoot done?" James sat down between Marlene and Sirius, stealing Marlene's toast.

"Nothing," Sirius said, taking the piece of toast James had just stolen and biting into it. "She keeps hitting me."

"I'm sure she has good reason." James took a sausage from Sirius' plate and ate that instead of the toast.

"There's literally a whole plate of sausages in front of you. Why do you have to take mine?" Sirius refilled his plate.

"Taste better," James said, taking another sausage from Sirius' new pile.

"Whatever. So what's the plan for today? Marlene turned down a date so she could come out for your birthday," Sirius said.

"Hogsmeade all day, back here for dinner, then sneak out tonight? I don't mind, long as you're all here," James said.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Is Evans coming?" James looked at Marlene.

"I think her and Alice were going to come. I don't know why they're not here yet."

"Weren't you with them this morning?"

"Nah, Sirius woke me up ridiculously early."

"Why were you with Sirius?"

"Um..." Marlene looked at Sirius and raised an eyebrow.

"I just needed some help with...Herbology," Sirius said.

"Fine. I won't ask," James said with a shrug.

"Are you two shagging again then?" Peter looked at Sirius expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Shut up." Sirius and James spoke at the same time. Marlene smiled at James and he squeezed her hand.

"Right. Pass me the bacon." Alice sat down next to Remus and looked pointedly at Marlene until she passed her several plates of food. Lily had sat next to Alice but was staring silently at the table without speaking. Her eyes were red and Marlene wanted to ask what was wrong but didn't think she'd want to talk about it in front of James and the others.

"Don't you girls have something to say to me?" James grinned at Alice.

"What? Oh. Happy Birthday, tosser," Alice said, flicking a baked bean into James' face.

"Thankyou." James beamed and Alice rolled her eyes. "Evans? Not got anything to say?"

Lily looked up at James and Alice drew in a sharp breath. Marlene shot Alice a questioning look and Alice shook her head.

"Seriously?" Lily's hands were shaking and she put down her cutlery as she spoke, focussing all her attention into glaring at James.

"I'll give you a clue...it starts with Happy, and ends with..."

"I KNOW. For Merlin's sake, Potter, you've made sure everyone knows it's your birthday today. I'm sure you're expecting the whole day to revolve around your precious self and it's all going to be wonderful, but some of us realise that there are more important things going on in the world than some idiot teenager's birthday."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Sirius said quickly. "She's crazy, aren't you Evans? Completely insane. Gone cuckoo." He gave Lily a warning glance which she completely ignored.

"Did you not even read the paper this morning? Are you so self centred that you don't think anything else is important enough to have an impact on your _special day_? I'm not going to deal with this right now," Lily said, standing up.

"My Daily Prophet wasn't delivered this morning." James looked hurt, and Lily's expression softened slightly. "What's happened?"

"Fifty muggle children were murdered in a town near Edinburgh last night," Lily said quietly. "Death Eaters left their limbs scattered over the town for the rest of the muggles to discover in the morning."

James opened his mouth but didn't say anything. Lily had tears in her eyes and wiped them angrily.

"It's not getting any better. These attacks keep happening and I...I keep wondering when it's going to be _my _town, and _my _family...and maybe that's selfish but I'm terrified. So I'm sorry that I don't much care about it being your birthday today." Lily bit her lip, and then turned and left the Hall.

"Sorry," Alice said, putting down her cutlery. "I shouldn't have brought her. I thought you guys might cheer her up. She's been like this since she read the paper this morning. It's really scared her."

"How did I not know that happened?" James' voice was hollow.

"It's okay, mate. It's not like you could have changed anything," Sirius said, clapping James on the back.

"Lily's right. I'm being self-centred. I can't believe I didn't know about something so awful. I shouldn't be trying to make today about me when so many people are suffering."

"James..." Marlene didn't know what to say.

"I'm going to go and find Lily. I should apologize."

Marlene sighed and looked at Sirius.

"This is why we should never listen to your ideas."

* * *

James disappeared for the rest of the day. Marlene had waited at Breakfast with Alice, Peter, Sirius and Remus, hoping that he'd come back after speaking to Lily, but when the food was finally cleared away and the Hall had emptied they had to accept that he'd abandoned his birthday plans. They had spent the day in the Common Room, reasoning that he had to come back eventually, but by the evening they were all half asleep after the early start to the day and weren't very hopeful that James would cheer up. Lily had come back to Gryffindor tower earlier in the day and gone straight to the dormitory, but there had been no sign of James.

"Enough is enough. I'm going to bed." Alice closed her book and stood up. "You coming?"

"I'll wait a bit longer," Marlene said.

"Don't torture yourself watching Sirius and that girl all night."

"I won't. I just want to see James."

"Okay. Night."

Marlene went back to glaring at Sirius, who was sitting by the window with a girl straddling him. The girl was beautiful and seemed determined to draw attention to their situation by giggling loudly and telling Sirius his hair was tickling her neck.

Remus laughed quietly. "Stop looking at him. You clearly don't want everyone to know you're not over him, so why are you making it so obvious?"

"I'm not. I am over him. I wasn't...but does he have to do that in front of everyone?"

"It's Sirius. I know he was different when he was with you, but this isn't really out of character."

"It's disgusting."

"You don't have to look."

"Stop giving me good advice and let me be self destructive. You're like Lily. I hate being reminded that everyone else is capable of being sensible."

"You've been spending too much time with Alice. Stop being silly. I'm going to bed. Tell James he can wake me up if he needs me."

Marlene sat still as the common room slowly emptied. She tried to take her friends' advice and not look at Sirius, but couldn't help herself glancing over at him every few minutes. After half an hour of trying to find somewhere else to look, she focussed on watching the portrait hole, waiting for James.

When the portrait hole finally opened and James climbed through it Marlene jumped up and ran to hug him. His face was pale and he held onto her tightly without saying anything.

"What are you doing, Jamie? Where have you been? I've been worried."

James ran a hand through his hair and didn't say anything. Marlene pulled him over to the couch she had been sitting on, and sat next to him.

"Are you still beating yourself up about what Lily said? You really didn't do anything wrong," Marlene said, stroking James' hand.

"I've been thinking," James said.

"All day?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I'm going to have to grow up. All of us are."

"You are growing up. You're seventeen, Jamie."

"That's what's worried me. We're all turning of age. We've been hearing about these horrible things happening and admiring the people who fight against them, but soon it's us that are going to need to fight. I mean, I always knew this but...today it all seems to be happening too quickly."

"We'll be okay."

"You will. I'll make sure you're always okay."

"Love you."

"Always."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking about what James had said, until he looked at his watch and cleared his throat.

"Half an hour left of my birthday. Can't wait for it to be over."

"Sorry it's been so horrible."

"S'alright."

"No...it's not. You've been excited for ages. Come on, we should do something."

"Nah. It's late."

"Don't be silly. You've still got half an hour of birthday. Let's go out."

"Oh, no it's fine. It's probably better if we just..."

"Stop talking. We're getting you drunk."

"Do we have to?"

"Yup. BLACK. GET OVER HERE."

Sirius pulled himself away from the girl he was with. She looked irritated and started to say something but he ignored her and walked over to where Marlene and James were sat.

"What?"

"We're going to Hogsmeade and getting James drunk. He's got half an hour of birthday left and we're going to make it count."

* * *

"I L..L...LOVE you both shoooo much," James said, planting a sloppy kiss onto Marlene's cheek. "Thish wash a fabulously wonderful idea of EPIC proportions."

"Good birthday then?" Sirius downed another shot of firewhisky and laughed at James' attempt to lift his own glass.

"The best." James gave up on finding his next drink and leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smile.

"More whisky?" Sirius put a shot glass into James' hand. James looked delighted and poured it down his throat.

"I think he's had enough," Marlene said.

"Don't be boring, Marly. ROSMERTA! THREE MORE SHOTS OVER HERE!" Sirius laughed at Marlene rolling her eyes. She shook her head but took the shot he passed her and drank it quickly.

"When I die from alcoholism I hope you remember this and know that it's your fault."

"Mars you were an alcoholic long before I was. We can blame Jack."

"YESH! BLAME JACK!" James looked proud, as if he'd had an epiphany. Slowly, the jubilant expression on his face twisted into one of worry, and then he leaned forward and threw up on Sirius' shoes.

"Thanks for that, Prongs," Sirius said calmly, pointing his wand at his shoes to vanish the vomit.

"OUT! ALL OF YOU! I knew I shouldn't have let you in here," Rosmerta screamed at the three of them, striding through the bar to shoot James a furious glare. "Isn't it enough for you that I don't inform the school about your sneaking out? Do you have to do this as well?"

"We're sorry, Ros," Sirius said, taking several gold coins out of his pocket and putting them into Rosmerta's hands. "We'll take him back to the castle."

"You better, and don't be coming back here until ALL of you can hold your liquor. I won't have this kind of thing going on in my bar, it puts off my regular customers."

"We're going," Marlene said, taking one of James' arms. His head lolled against her shoulder and she elbowed him to try to make him move.

"I've got him," Sirius said. He looped his arm underneath James' on his other side and the two of them managed to half carry, half drag their friend out of the bar.

"I told you he'd had enough," Marlene said, bowing under James' weight.

"You were being boring."

"If you'd listened to me your shoes wouldn't smell like sick. Which way are we going? Shrieking Shack?"

"We'll need to break into Honeydukes. The passage opens nearer the common room. I want to get him back as quickly as we can." Sirius looked worried but Marlene knew he wouldn't want her to acknowledge this so she kept quiet.

The journey through the passage was difficult. James wasn't capable of walking without support but the tunnel was too narrow for either of the others to walk next to him. In the end Sirius resorted to levitating James down the passage in front of him. Sirius pushed James through the statue of the one eyed witch and then turned back to help Marlene climb up.

"Pads...I feel like I'm not as fantastic as normal," James said, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

"We're nearly back. Get up." Sirius lifted James back onto his feet.

"I'm surprised you're being so nice to him. I wouldn't be if it was me having to carry him," Marlene said.

"It wouldn't really be fair of me to get angry. He's done the same for me enough times."

Marlene followed James and Sirius up to the sixth year boys' dorms and helped Sirius get James undressed.

"Okay...um, I should go back to my dorm now. Send me an owl if you need anything?" Marlene spoke to Sirius but knew that James was listening as well.

"Noooo, Marly. Stay," James said, looking at her pleadingly. "We can cuddle?"

"You're so annoying."

"Please. I don't want you to go. It's my _birthday." _James smiled vacantly at her and then proceeded to be sick for a second time, all over his bed.

"I'll sleep on the floor," Marlene said, shaking her head at him. "I'm not risking you doing that again."

Sirius vanished the mess from James' bed and threw a pillow and blanket towards Marlene, who settled down between their two beds.

* * *

Marlene sat up a couple of hours later, tears running down her face. She'd already forgotten what had happened in her nightmare but couldn't shake the fear that had gripped her.

James was snoring and she took deep breaths, trying to reassure herself that everyone was okay. She turned to look at Sirius' bed and jumped when she realised he was awake and watching her.

"You alright?" Sirius whispered.

"Yeah. Bad dream."

Wordlessly, Sirius lifted the covers on his bed. Marlene lay down next to him and he draped the duvet around her. She knew he was just trying to look after her but it felt good to be so near him again. As she drifted off to sleep for the second time she was vaguely aware of Sirius' arm around her waist. She smiled and let sleep overcome her.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews are always very much appreciated. Love, J xx**


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